For Love of a Falcon
by Bailieboro
Summary: The force of nature against the might of knights; Arthur loses it; a mistaken identity and in magical places.
1. Chapter 1

**For Love of a Falcon is the ninth story in the Rejected by Royalty series.**

**CHAPTER 1 : OF FODDER AND FLOODS**

Winter thankfully was uneventful weather wise; a few good snow storms to keep the pages and squires amused; some cold weather yet food and wood were plentiful.

In the spring, most villages reported that there had been minimal fatalities due to the weather and illness, that the seeding seemed to have taken and livestock numbers were up. Another year had begun in Camelot.

For Arthur, this year was a stepping stone as he entered his thirties. He assured Gaius that he felt the same as he had when he was nine. He was strong, solid and capable, much to Merlin's annoyance, of picking him up effortlessly. Merlin surpassed him by being fleet of foot and that had on a few occasions resulted in his not being thrown over Arthur's shoulder and carried to their bedchamber.

Merlin wasn't the only one excited about Arthur's upcoming thirtieth birthday. The king had announced that the Summer Tournament would be dedicated to Arthur and it would be open to all comers. There would still be knightly competitions but most events would be open to any able bodied man. "…or girl!" Arthur had whispered to Merlin, with a wink and a nod in his direction!

'Wouldn't you just love to see what I could do in all those categories?' thought Merlin and he smiled.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, I was just imagining, Sire, you in a dress, riding side saddle on Mulgan!"

It was going to be an event to be remembered and the castle would be packed to capacity. Already the kitchens were planning for wonderful feasts and farmers were viewing their stock with the though of supplying meat for the occasions. The ladies of the court were also looking ahead to refurbishing their wardrobes and planning outfits. Families would be reunited and great fun would hopefully be had by all. For the squires being invested to the knighthood it would be of double excitement as once invested, they would be competing for the first time as Knights of Camelot.

Uther smiled to himself, he was now in his mid fifties. He'd held the kingdom together, enforced laws for the betterment of its residents and made unions with neighbouring kingdoms as well as doing his hardest to rid it of the despicable followers of magic. He intended to give Arthur more responsibilities; as he felt that he had some way to go to be able to rule in his stead. His one big regret was that his son had yet to produce an heir. Twice he had attempted to pave the way for such a happening; the first seemed to have possibilities and the second never materialised.

Maybe one day, Arthur's eye would be caught by the right woman and with all the guests invited to the castle over the summer, there was hope!

-0-0-

Arthur's thoughts were far away from regal responsibilities. He had been reviewing the condition of the older squires and younger knights after their winter lay off. The training grounds were still soft so, he had groups of riders complete obligatory cross country outings. It was on one of these outings that one of the squire's horses had dropped dead. Luckily, the nineteen year old had bailed as he felt the horse collapse under him. Robin was unhurt but shocked as his gelding was only seven and had come from his father's Northanger stables. A sober group of riders returned to the castle.

Not that horses didn't die, they did! Usually it was from breaking their necks in a fall and having to be put down due to broken legs or horrendous battle injuries. The recently appointed Master of the Horse, questioned the knights and then sent the stud manager from Castle Farm to check on the body but the exam was inconclusive.

One morning, three days later, another horse was found dead in the stable. Sir Rook insisted that his twelve year old mare had been in good spirits the previous day, dancing around anticipating going out. The knights agreed as they had remarked on his lack of equestrian form, as he tried to mount her. He'd given up and had chosen another horse from the castle stables and rode out with the others.

Merlin had heard the news and told Arthur. "It wouldn't hurt for you to mention it to him, to acknowledge how he must feel." Arthur did so, he also realised that no one was any wiser over the horses' deaths. He decided to have a groom on duty all night with Mulgan and told the man, he should also keep an eye on Gidun. If the horses were being poisoned, he wanted to get to the bottom of this.

Three days passed and all the horses seemed healthy and performing up to standard. During a training for the _melée à cheval_ with four knights, one of the horses collapsed. Arthur was furious, there was no excuse for injuring a horse in a tournament, let alone in a training sequence. He strode over to the knight now kneeling beside his dying horse and roughly grabbed him, "Who did it? Who the hell is responsible for this?"

Sir James Rohallion stood scowling, "No one touched him. Let me go, Sire!" and he fell back to his knees, while he tried to loosen the girth figuring it was maybe impeding his horse's ability to breath. The gelding shuddered and died. Sir Malcom the knight's Horse Master, walked over and put his arm on Sir James's shoulders and walked him across the training field back to the castle, motioning for the others to remove the tack and notify a groom to make arrangements for the carcass to be dragged away by the heavy work horses from Castle Farm.

Merlin had watched the whole episode and agreed with James that no contact had been made by another rider. Three good horses lost within two weeks.

In Camelot, horses were a necessity not a luxury. Years went into the training of a good destrier and the partnership between the knight and his horse was paramount. The horse relying on his rider to ask him to do only what he knew he was able to do and the rider knowing that the horse to the best of its ability, would provide a safe ride. Merlin cringed, he knew that Gidun wasn't trained to the same calibre as the others but anyone up to no good, not knowing the individual horses might class him as one of them.

All three horses belonged to the riders in question. Some knights rode horses belonging to Camelot but these three had belonged to the individual man. For Sir Rook and Sir James to find the same calibre horse, enabling them to compete in the summer tournament would be iffy. 'Why had these horses died?' was the question on everyone's minds.

Merlin was having supper with Gaius as Arthur had a supper meeting with the king and the senior council members, so had told him to take the evening off as the young squire Charles could see to him. Merlin told Gaius all about the horses and asked if it was coincidental or was there a problem. "I know Gidun isn't important to anyone but me…but, Gaius, I can't imagine being without him. I think Arthur is nervous for Mulgan as he has placed extra grooms overnight in the stables, also asking that the head groom at Castle Farm do the same for the king's horses there."

"What do you about the ages of the horses?"

"Rook's mare was twelve, James' gelding was ten and Robin's gelding was six. They all seemed healthy until they died and hadn't been off their food or listless at all. None of them are related, and none were stabled next to each other. Apart from poison or coincidence, I don't understand it. The last time, a horse dropped dead was Sir Madox's twenty six year old Rolf…and that was what, five years ago?"

"Maybe, there is something in the hay or seeds in the grain which is poisonous. You've got my interest; if I have time, I will speak with Sir Malcolm tomorrow. Maybe he will have an idea as well. There is nothing that you can do by worrying about Gidun. Keep your eyes open and check on him in your spare time." He smiled, as if Merlin had much spare time, dealing with Arthur.

Gaius and Sir Malcolm visited the stables, taking samples of the oats and hay. They questioned all the stable hands, nothing seemed any different. No new staff or strangers seen around the yards. Sir Malcolm went back through the stable records and found that the hay currently being fed had been purchased last summer from a farm near the moors. It was the first time that that farmer had been used as a supplier. Gaius advised holding off feeding it until further information was available.

Gaius learned nothing from the grain samples but he was able to find worrying amounts of _aconitum napellus _in the hay samples_. _He assured Merlin that normally horses would avoid fresh monkshood but in hay they would be more likely to ingest it.

A knight and the head groom visited the farm in question and came back with the news that the farmer had lost two cows and a farm horse over the winter. He had subsequently stopped feeding the hay from that harvest and had had no further fatalities.

It was accepted that the hay must have been the problem as no other horses were sick that spring. All remaining amounts were burned. Sir Rook received a young mare from his family, Sir James commandeered his younger brother's destrier and the squire was given one of the castle horses. Arthur was disappointed as Sirs Rook and James were competitive and capable tournament contestants, now their chances of winning would be lessened by their new mounts.

Merlin was happy that no other horses had fallen ill, especially a certain bay gelding.

-0-0-

Arthur was told by the king that he needed to take a handful of knights to check reports of bad flooding on the western border.

He figured it was preferable that staying cooped up in Camelot so five knights Gielbert, Simon, Rook, Aislin and Thomas with ten guards followed Arthur through the portcullis one sunny morning with Merlin tagging along with Evan who had a packhorse with food supplies in tow.

The area had been hit with a very wet and snowy winter so the rivers were overflowing their banks and causing damage to barns which held grains. Most of the livestock had been moved to higher ground but the townsfolk needed help and, as it was an important border town, Uther had decided to send manpower to open waterways and if necessary build temporary bridges and dykes.

It would take them four days to reach the village of Dunsford. If inns were available, they would stay in them but it was more than likely that they would be sleeping rough. Early April could be wet and cold but so far this season in their region, had been dry. Merlin hated wet feet, he found them more depressing that cold feet. Arthur had reminded him to bring extra socks but there was just so much luggage a self respecting servant could carry with him. He grinned thinking of all the things he would have brought with him given the chance, Arthur's and his fisherman's sweaters, a couple of quilts and lots of warm clothes, especially socks.

Night one, they arrived at an abandoned farm. The knights had commandeered the farmer's cottage for themselves, it was hardly big enough for three let alone the likes of Gielbert, Rook, Thomas and Aislin. They scouted around and found a cowshed and decided that they would be happier there, leaving the cottage to Arthur and Merlin who had suggested that Simon stay with them. The guards were able to stay in a disused hay barn with Evan and all the horses.

Three of the guards and Merlin got fires going and cooked up some stew which was doled out to everyone. They also each had a measure of ale. They sat around talking until it was too dark to see each other and then turned in. Merlin had already been in the cottage and had managed to lay a fire in the hearth. He had laid out Arthur's and his sleeping rolls to one side of the fire and told Simon to lie on the other side. Simon was the youngest knight on the expedition as he had been invested the previous June and Merlin was determined that nothing untoward was going to happen to him. The others were all experienced men.

The cottage was cosy with the fire and although there was no door or shutters, it was perfect and preferable to sleeping outside. They sat talking in the firelight and Simon finally rolled himself up in his blanket and soon, he was snoring gently. Merlin reached out towards Arthur and slipped his hand into his. He would have loved to have been alone but sometimes these stolen moments could be precious. He slid along the wall until he was sitting against him and whispered, "Oh, the wonderful things, I could think of doing if we were alone."

"Me, too! Today wasn't bad, everyone seems to be getting along and maybe tomorrow night, we will have more private sleeping quarters."

"I felt that we would be better in this big group if we had someone else with us," explained Merlin. "Whereas, I trust the knights, I am not that confident with the guards. Just one whisper of an indiscretion and I would be hauled up before your father…and that is not going to happen!"

Arthur reached for him and enfolded him in his arms. "Don't talk like that, not now, not ever! We are a couple, maybe a couple of fools in love but we are a couple!" He turned and gently kissed Merlin. Slowly, he pulled away and whispered, "If we don't get any sleep, we'll regret it in the morning…" They settled onto their separate bedrolls still holding hands and drifted asleep to the crackling of the fire in the hearth and a fox barking in the hills.

-0-0-

Before they knew it, people were up moving around, horses were being taken to the stream to be watered and someone was cooking for the guards. Merlin slipped out of his bedroll and stretched. He'd slept well and made his way to the fire to get it going again. He put a pot of oatmeal over it and nudged Simon with his foot, "Wake up Sleeping Beauty! We won't be waiting for you if you are not ready to leave with the rest of us. Get up and tell the others to join us in here for breakfast."

Simon got up groaning and made his way to the cow barn to round up the others. Merlin walked over to Arthur, knelt beside him and ran his knuckles up his cheek, whispering, "You, Sire, will soon need a shave!" He ran his hand down Arthur's neck and leaned in for a kiss.

"Umm, Merlin," he asked, "Did you wake me for any particular reason?"

Merlin chuckled "Not this morning, my Love, maybe tomorrow!" Arthur was disappointed to open his eyes and find Gielbert walking in the door.

Breakfast finished, they mounted and set off for Sparrow Hill, which was to be their next stop. The weather was great and everyone was in a good mood. So, Gielbert said, "Did anyone hear the fox last night? Reminded me of home, they used to raid the chicken coops at the manor house and the cook used to threaten them with dire consequences."

Rook added, "Rather that than a wild boar, imagine waking up and staring into the beady eyes and sharpened tusks of one of those fellows."

"I don't think, we want to remember boars on a day like this. I think we had our fill of them last year, didn't we Merlin?"

Merlin momentarily, experienced phantom pains in his thigh and groin. "I've sworn off boars for a few years that is unless one of you weaklings is beginning attacked and you need my help!" The others groaned at him.

The knights rode ahead planning to eat at the next alehouse. Sure enough, before noon a hamlet appeared and they took a break for a light meal and felt forced to take advantage of the landlord's kind offer for them to taste the local ale. Simon laughed, "This is better than soup and bread for lunch."

"Well, don't get used to it, as it rarely happens that we get treated this well when we're out with Arthur," said Aislin.

Thomas laughed continuing, "Yes, usually we're fed twice a day and neither of the meals is that appetising."

"Well, looking at you, it doesn't seem to have done you any harm, my rotund friend," said Rook. Everyone hooted.

"O.K. Before we really start getting on each other's nerves," laughed Arthur, "Let's mount up as I'd really like to get a cot in Sparrow Hill this evening."

The knights returned to the road and by late afternoon they were arriving in the village. Gielbert and Merlin went ahead to check on accommodation. They were in luck two communal rooms were available and they took them both. Simon once again bunked with Merlin and Arthur and the other four were happy to be on cots not on the floor.

Simon took Merlin aside and said quietly, "If Arthur and you want to be alone; I can sleep on the floor in the other room."

"Don't be silly, there's room with us actually there'll be an extra cot but hopefully it will be just the three of us. Thanks all the same…" Merlin smiled and put his arms around the young man and gave him a hug just as Arthur walked in.

Simon went to join the others in the ale room as they waited for dinner and Arthur said, "What was that all about?"

"He'd just offered to let us have the room to ourselves as he was going to sleep on the floor in the other room."

"Great!" said Arthur, "Now you can show me what you had in mind last night!"

"No, I can't as I told him he was welcome to stay with us."

"Merlin, I sometimes think that you need your head read…" but he got no further as Merlin took advantage of their being alone to remind him why there was absolutely no reason for that.

They made their way downstairs where the others had already started drinking. Gielbert, holding up a brimming mug, laughed saying, "Come on, Arthur, you have to take the opportunity when it arises."

Arthur smiled and thought, 'Exactly!' as he winked at Merlin who in true Merlin fashion blushed and Simon grinned up at him.

Supper was excellent, the knights were relaxed and the food was plentiful and good. They sat around reminiscing until Arthur mentioned an early morning departure and they all trooped upstairs. The landlord agreed to have breakfast available, just after dawn.

-0-0-

True to the plan, all were mounted and ready to leave. Gielbert had settled with the landlord for the accommodation and the liquor consumed. He wished them a good journey and mentioned that he would look forward to seeing them on their return.

The lay of the land was excellent for riding, open pasture and predominantly flat. They had to cross two rivers and they noticed that the second one was noticeably higher as they had to ford it, the old Roman stone slab bridge being underwater.

Merlin not wanting his feet to get wet had crossed them over the pommel of his saddle and he almost slipped into the river when Gidun hit a deep area and started to swim. Arthur thought the whole thing was hilarious until Mulgan hit a deep part as well and water lapped up over the top of his boots. Merlin perched up high and dry, was grinning from ear to ear and Arthur rounded on him saying, "What the hell's so funny!"

Merlin had the decency to drop his head but inside he was laughing not only at the thought of Arthur's little wet toes but his use of language. He must have been really pissed off, he decided.

Suddenly, the horses were floundering up the bank on the opposite side and stood their dripping. Arthur told them to move ahead onto the flat area above and dismount. He had no wish to experience a shaking horse when he was in the saddle. Gidun decided that he should roll to dry off and Merlin quickly saw what he had in mind and moved him ahead a few steps to change his mind. He still kept pawing at the ground but Merlin held his head high and finally he decided that maybe, he'd stay on all fours.

Arthur gave them a half an hour to get reorganised and then knights and guards mounted and continued on their way.

Arthur asked, "Gielbert, where are we staying tonight?"

"Looks like, we're roughing it according to the map!"


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2 : A RIVER EXACTS A TOLL**

…and rough it they did. The level land finally started to rise and they had to make their way through forests and woods, The roads were rough and followed the natural lay of the land. They followed valleys between hilly ranges and Arthur called a halt halfway up a hill in a bowl shaped glen which had large boulders and a stream.

Once the nineteen horses had been taken care of, it was time to eat. Once again the guards had their own fire and Merlin took care of lighting two for the knights, Simon and Aislin having helped him collect branches and logs. There was a big fire in the middle of some good sized boulders and Merlin had taken Arthur's socks and laid them on a boulder close to the fire. He lowered his voice and said delicately but theatrically "Are your smalls also wet as I could put them out to dry as well?" He quickly dodged the boot which came flying his way.

Everyone had enjoyed the comment and Thomas had added, "Merlin, can anyone else take advantage of your drying system?" and soon Arthur's socks were joined by various damp clothing apparel from the other knights. Merlin's second fire was his cooking fire and Rook and he quickly heated up a thick soup which benefited from the pieces of chicken in it. Some withered apples and rough scones made by their previous night's landlady completed the meal.

They sat and discussed the possibility that the closer they got to Dunnsford the more difficult it was going to be to cross rivers. Gielbert checked the map and said that they would have to cross the River Dunn as the town was on the opposite bank. Arthur's toes which were basking in the warmth of the fire involuntarily clenched. Finally they got up, moving away from the fire. Merlin had decided to keep it going all night and set up his bedroll close to it. Arthur followed suit but the others moved away quite happy to wedge themselves against boulders especially those around the drying fire which were warm.

Merlin looked at Arthur in the firelight. "You know that I would never be traipsing around in the woods if it were not for you. I would be rolled up in my quilt in bed in the turret room, alone but anticipating your return from your travels."

"Yes, but just think what you would be missing?"

"What, draughty cottages? Dormitory style sleeping quarters…?"

"Well, it was your idea to keep Simon with us!"

Merlin laughed, "I know that you are very demanding but Arthur there is a time and a place...and that was neither the time nor the place and anyway, expecting him to crash on the floor with the others, when there were two perfectly good extra cots in our room seemed non-regal. Don't you think?"

The word regal prompted Arthur to ask, "Do you think that I will ever be king, Merlin?"

"Believe me, Arthur, I know beyond a doubt that not only will you be a king but thousands of years from now people will still be talking about you and your historical feats."

"…and you too, Merlin?"

"Yes, Arthur, and me too…!" Merlin reached for Arthur's hand brought it to his lips. He turned towards Arthur and smiled into the darkness between them.

The last think he heard was Arthur saying, "Sleep tight, Merlin!"

_It was what he heard rather than what he could not see. It sounded like a cacophony of the short blasts of various sized trumpets and the perpetual hum of what he could only describe as oversized…no...really massive bees._

_He knew he was in a valley of types but the hills had been replaced by upright stone and smooth faced textures which he recognised by touch as glass which blocked out the warmth of the sun but drew in the wind which whistled through._

_He shook his head trying to open his eyes but even though he was certain the lids were open, his retinas picked up no light and there was only a sooty darkness. He reached out his hands and felt metal, a solid stationary pole; he couldn't identify it but it was smooth and possibly hollow. It hummed slightly and seemed to intermittently click and he was conscious of people passing by him in orderly fashion attuned, it seemed to the clicking._

_He stepped forward stumbling as his foot met space and felt someone drag him back. "Buddy, you blind of somefing? It's red and you coulda been hit by a bus!"_

_Merlin pulled away and took steps back until he felt a solid wall behind him. He cursed at not being able to see…what was a bus? He caught his breath and tried his magic but it was too weak to accomplish anything. Where was he? He had roughly understood what the person had said but it seemed nonsensical._

_He stood for what seemed like hours his ears being accosted by the noise, his body by the vibrations. He was not in pain, just stressed and lost. He was conscious of two voices beside him. He tuned in, when he thought he heard the word Lancelot!_

_He heard or thought he did, "They'll never let that happen. The bee bee sea isn't that brave. Anyway, he's married to Gwen and historically she'd have run off with Lancelot but they fixed that by killing him."_

"_They could still get rid of her! She's a dead weight and really not at all suitable for Arthur…"_

"_Who is then...? You…?"_

"_No way, I'd go for Gawaine, given the chance. Merlin should be with Arthur…!"_

_Merlin gasped, 'Who were these people? How did know about Arthur and him? How many other people were in the know? In future, Arthur and he were going to have to be super careful...'_

_The voices continued their chatter. "Anyway, Jennie says that unless they let Merlin and Arthur get closer she's not going to watch anymore."_

"_Well, I will! If I get good results, my Dad says that he will find a way to let the family go to France to visit Pierrefonds this summer."_

"_You're spoilt rotten! You know that don't you? Anyway, here's my bus. Call me later…" _

_The conversation was finished and Merlin was, once again trying to figure out who the speakers were and why they wanted to go to France. Did they know Marie-Soleil and Gregoire? He was worried, too many people were involved with his and Arthur's relationship. Was it public knowledge?_

_Merlin could feel himself fading. He felt someone sounding like Gaius, saying, "Take it easy, Merlin. It's only a dream."…and then…he heard Arthur calling him… _

…_and he could no longer remember anything except for the sound of the trumpets, the bees, the humming clicking pole and a body of water called the Bee Bee Sea…_

"Wake up! You've been tossing and turning for the last hour and the fire is out and I'm hungry!"

Merlin shook his head; he opened his eyes and grinned at Arthur, "There is obviously no peace for the wicked!"

"What were you mumbling about?"

"Arthur, what's a bus and have you ever heard Geoffrey talk about the Bee Bee Sea?"

"You've been dreaming again. Honestly Merlin I can't keep up with you. The next thing you're going to ask me is will Gawaine ever meet the love of his life, settle and get married?"

Merlin's head snapped up but he realised it was just a coincidence, '…it was, wasn't it?'

-0-0-

Breakfast finished, bedrolls re-attached to their saddles, the group were ready to leave. If they ran into no flooding, they should reach the River Dunn by late afternoon. Certainly, the roads were softer than when they had started out but that caused no problem. Many streams were overflowing and the currents were strong but the horses managed with little trouble.

Arthur, half way across one ford turned to Merlin and grinned, "This, Merlin, is not the time to fall off!" Mulgan then hit a deep spot and Arthur was thrown forward and had to regain his balance.

The other knights had a good laugh as Merlin said with the sweetest smile, "Arthur, I do believe that what goes around, often comes around…"

"Is that a threat or a promise, Merlin?" asked Arthur as he winked and Merlin grinned blushing.

At one point, they faced a detour as the flooded stream had steep banks, although Rook's horse had managed to get across by sliding down one bank, swimming across and scrambling up the other side. Arthur decided that to have nineteen horses do the same would make the approaches too dangerous.

Rook and his horse were now marooned on the opposite bank and Simon called to him, "Nice knowing you, see you around some time!"

Gielbert being more helpful, said, "Stay where you are, we'll go downstream and see if we can find another crossing. Make yourself useful, build a fire or something…" causing everyone to laugh.

Within the hour, they had all joined Rook and after a short break to rest the horses, were back on the road.

-0-0-

The flooding of the River Dunn was worse than expected. Not only had it overflowed its banks to double its width but the middle of it was a raging torrent carrying along debris including uprooted trees and the carcasses of animals. The townspeople on the other side acknowledged the Camelot party but any words were drowned out by the incessant noise of the rushing river.

The knights and the senior guard sat down to plan a crossing. The townspeople seemed to be pointing upstream so Arthur sent Rook and four guards to check on the possibility of a narrower crossing. They reported back that one mile upstream the river was easier to cross but it would entail swimming the horses. It did have possibilities as the original river had dived into two streams which encircled a large island. Without even seeing it, Arthur had his doubts. The current might be too strong and they couldn't afford to lose any horses.

Leaving Evan with the horses, Arthur, Thomas and Rook walked to the spot which seemed the most favourable. The crossing would be accomplished in two phases, reach the island, rest then continue to the other river bank. A horse could certainly swim to the island but the second part would be riskier as the current was stronger.

Thomas returned to get everyone to the possible crossing. Once there, camp was set up.

Merlin took Evan to check the spot as he had probably more experience with horses than anyone. Their horses half waded and swam to the island and Evan agreed that the second crossing could be done but the horses would have to be riderless. They wouldn't need extra weight. "For safety sake, maybe, there should be a rope strung across to that huge tree over there and the riders can hang onto it and their horses to save them from being swept away. Hopefully, there's a strong enough tree on the island itself."

Merlin reported Evan's idea of the rope and the others agreed. However, how would you get the heavy rope across in the first place? Aislin suggested that the rope should come from the town and be thrown across to the island but as they were unable to communicate with the townsfolk that was a problem. Thomas offered to swim his horse which was the tallest over to the mainland but Arthur vetoed that suggestion as dangerous, as it was too late in the day.

Arthur and Gielbert agreed that it would be advisable to stay one night on this side of the river and attempt the crossing in daylight, the next day. Possibly by then, the river might have returned closer to normal.

The knights sat around their campfire eating roasted rabbit. That was augmented by the supplies carried by the pack horse. Arthur joked that tomorrow he would expect good ale, fresh bread and maybe some venison, depending upon what the townsfolk had to offer. Slowly everyone turned in, with their feet reaching towards the fire which Merlin intended to keep going all night.

As they settled next to each other, Arthur said, "Bet, the fire is out in three hours. I know you, you'll never be able to get up to put on more logs."

"We'll have to see about that," said Merlin. "Is there any reward if I accomplish it?"

"What did you have in mind?"

Merlin shifted a little towards Arthur so that he could tell him. "Make a wish!" Arthur said quietly. Merlin moved back to his place and grinned in the firelight. He could always get Arthur going but he really did intend to have the fire alight when Arthur woke even if he had to rely on his special abilities!

-0-0-

True to his word, Thomas rode into the water after breakfast and surprisingly the water only came to his horse's elbows. It scrambled up the bank of the island and horse and rider disappeared into the trees.

Half an hour later he reappeared. He called out agreeing the second section would be harder but the island was big enough for everyone to get there and wait. Arthur led the way across while Evan and the pack horse brought up the rear. She was a solid little horse and she had to swim for it but followed dutifully behind Evan's horse.

Merlin decided that under better circumstances the island would have been a lovely place to camp. It was in area as large as the imprint of the castle at Camelot and was full of shade trees and little glens.

They knew, the second they saw it, that the crossing to the mainland was going to cause problems. It was not the width of the river causing the trouble but the force of the water and they had no way of gauging the depth. At some time during their lives all the horses had swum across rivers but not all the rivers had resembled the turbulent force facing them today.

Thomas again offered to make the first attempt, he decided to take off from the most northern point on the island and hopefully drift with the current and swim across to land somewhere on the other side.

There was silence. Merlin knew that Arthur would never have let him go first but he felt sure that with a little 'assistance', Gidun and he could have made it. He knew also that Gaius would never have condoned it and would be furious to hear that something had happened because Merlin was being reckless. So, he didn't bother offering. However, if Thomas were unsuccessful; he would offer to try next.

Thomas rode obliquely into the water and soon his horse was being carried past them. He slipped off, hanging onto his horse's tail and the valiant horse managed to find footing on the opposite bank, way beyond the end of the island but still in view of the expedition. A cheer went up and as planned, the knight made his way to Dunnsford.

The others waited on the island and within the hour, horses were seen on the opposite bank. They had a cart with them and lengths of rope cable which they attached to a huge oak tree.

Thomas reversed his strategy and finally arrived back on the southern tip of the island. Willing hands took hold of the cable, hauling it in, attaching it to another massive oak on the north of the island. One after another the knights made the crossing, going with the current. No more than two horses were in the water at a time followed by the guards until only Merlin and Evan were left.

Evan swam across hampered by the little packhorse which kept being carried into and bumping his own riding horse. Once out of the current, they floated further south than anyone else, both horses scrambling onto the beach, having a good shake, followed by Evan on all fours. So far only one horse belonging to a guard, was not accounted for.

Merlin was the last one to cross. Gidun stepped bravely into the water and was quickly carried into the current. Simon was balancing on a boulder near where most of the horses had landed. Merlin and Gidun must have taken a slightly different route because suddenly Gidun was swept around and went under, Merlin was left clinging to the cable.

It happened in an instance. Simon threw himself into the water after Gidun and the last thing, Merlin saw was Gidun's head breaking the surface of the water downstream but no Simon. The knights had made a chain and Arthur reached Merlin wrapping him in a bear hug and slowly the knights backed up onto the beach.

The guards minus one horse, mounted and made their way into Dunnsford, planning to build a fire to dry out bedrolls and clothes. Luckily the sun was warm but that was no solace to Merlin who was on his knees on the beach coughing up water as was Arthur. He couldn't believe that Simon was gone as was his horse. Arthur organised a search of the bank of the river as far south as one mile past Dunnsford but by the time darkness fell neither Gidun nor Simon had been found.

Two horses besides Gidun were carried away but one resurfaced and was carried by the flood waters into a little bay where it stood forlornly gasping and shaking as its rider tried to encourage it to climb up the bank over dead wood and boulders.

Merlin was dazed. He could not tear his eyes away from the river where he had last seen Gidun valiantly trying to keep his head above water. He visualised the reins around his neck getting caught somewhere and his horse being pulled down and drowned.

His mind was racing as he realised the utmost futility of Simon's gesture but his heart was filled with gratitude for the twenty two year old who had tried. He knew that if he ever saw him alive, he intended to give him a piece of his mind as no matter how valuable and well loved a horse might be it was never equal to a human life.

Merlin closed all thoughts of the horse and Simon out of his mind and faced the job at hand. He'd have time at night to revisit the situation. Arthur was checking on him frequently and finally he managed to return one of his looks with a sad smile and it almost broke Arthur's heart. Trained as he has been, he knew that personal matters never take precedence over the business of the kingdom especially when you are a crown prince. His focus even now, had to be the townspeople, his knights and guards not his beloved.

The villagers had set up makeshift tents for the knights. Nothing more than three poles supporting a canvas roof… accessible only on one's knees.

Food was prepared by the womenfolk and finally after an exhaustive day, the camp quietened down. Merlin lay out their bedrolls in one of the tents and Arthur retired. Merlin sat on watch all night, mentally as active as he had been physically during the previous day. Slowly he allowed the part of his mind which he had locked away to open and he stared into the firelight with tears coursing down his face. Never would he allow his heart to be captured by another horse…never. His eyes seemed golden in the firelight. He again locked away the thoughts which tore at his heart. What was the use of having magic if he couldn't save something so precious?

Arthur realised that he was not next to him and saw him silhouetted against the firelight. His arms ached to grasp him to himself to help dispel the sorrow. His heart told him to go to him but his head knew that Merlin needed space especially as they were not alone.

Putting his head on his knees, Merlin mourned the loss of his young friend. He dreaded his return to Camelot.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3 : ****ABSENT WITHOUT LEAVE**

Tendrils of light started to crawl across the eastern sky, as Merlin stood and added more logs to the fire and prepared porridge for Arthur. He took the empty water skin and made his way to a stream flowing down the hillside. It was decided that the river water was unsafe and until proven otherwise the villagers had been using the stream water. He acknowledged the other knights who were stirring and Gielbert mentioned that they should have a meeting to set up a plan for the day's work.

He could hear the guards getting organised down near the beach and he crawled in to awaken Arthur. He pulled away as Arthur reached for him. He panicked as Arthur put his arm on his shoulder. For some unknown reason, he felt threatened and said, brokenly "Please! Don't touch me!" The look of hurt and disbelief in Arthur's eyes almost sent him over the edge.

Arthur and Gielbert organised the guards and villagers and a start was made on removal of wrecked buildings and scavenging for usable lumber.

Much was accomplished that first day day. The main road to the river was cleared and horses and wagons used to carry away all usable wood. Arthur and Gielbert had meetings explaining their ideas and plans and correlated them with the plans and wishes of the town leaders and their elders.

Nothing would be rebuilt down on the river banks, for one the ground was not solid and should another flood occur all the new building might be lost. Arthur encouraged the townsfolk to take advantage of the guards for heavy work. Graves were dug and bodies which had subsequently turned up on the river banks were buried. Simon's body had not been retrieved.

The river level was dropping and boats, not damaged or lost in the flood were roped together to form a bridge of sorts across the river and supplies from neighbouring villages were slowly arriving. The work was long and tiring but slowly relief was arriving. The water although fast flowing and high no longer carried submerged trees and other debris and the temporary bridge survived.

A group of townspeople set up camp on the opposite shore so that should the water level rise, the bridge could be unlashed and the boats anchored on each side so it could be rebuilt as the flood waters subsided.

Each day, Merlin checked on Mulgan. It tore at his heart as the horse lifted his head flicking his ears, turning his head trying to locate his stable mate when he heard Merlin's voice. He'd been very vocal and his continual whinnying was getting Arthur down. "What's with him? He's not often this loud."

Merlin glanced at Arthur's back and his heart felt torn asunder as he said quietly, "He's lonely…"

"How can he be lonely with all these other horses…?" and then it dawned on him. Gulping, he turned, looking at Merlin who stood with his head down and said, "Oh, Merlin, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking…"

Arthur stood there his heart screaming that he should wrap Merlin in his arms but he didn't, instead he absentmindedly patted Mulgan and told him that it would be alright. Evan walked up, nodding at Merlin, turned to Arthur and said, "Sire, Mulgan might be better down the line, next to my mare. She's very steady, not a mean bone in her body and has proved her worth settling other horses."

Merlin gulped, as that was one of Gidun's abilities as well.

Arthur nodded and Evan untied the stallion and walked it down the line attaching him next to a solid black aged mare who didn't even flick her ears or swish her tail in annoyance as the stallion checked her out.

The days were long and gruelling each started with a meeting around a boulder where Arthur sat and discussed plans. If he wished to speak to the townsfolk, he'd leave the confines of the knights' camp and make his way up the hill into the town centre.

Nights were spent in their little tent and although Merlin was now lying down, Arthur hadn't as much as touched him after the episode when he was told in no uncertain words, 'Don't!' He was getting exasperated but he accepted Merlin's wishes. His one wish however, was to wrap his arms around him and hold him to himself telling him how awful he felt about Gidun and that he would tomorrow, start another search for Simon.

Arthur had an overbearing feeling that he was losing Merlin. It made no sense but Merlin treated him like stranger, he was friendlier with Thomas and Rook than he was with him. They could at least speak to him and get a response. Whenever, he tried to talk to Merlin even using a neutral tone, Merlin dropped his head and distanced himself. He flinched if they accidentally touched and noticeably pulled away as if in pain. He had pulled so far away from him that Arthur was certain that there was now a chasm between them.

A little thought grew in Arthur's mind, that Merlin no longer wanted to be around him. Had he found someone else? Who? How long had this been going on? He had seemed himself on their travels and even demonstrative but since arriving at Dunnsford things had drastically changed. Arthur knew that he wouldn't take this sitting down; he intended to fight for him until he was absolutely certain that their love was dead.

Merlin's mind was in a bad state. Arthur didn't understand and even the slightest kindness on his part, caused havoc in Merlin's heart. If only they had been home, Merlin could have clung to him sobbing explaining how losing Gidun had given him an idea of the pain which he would be experiencing if anything happened to Arthur. His heart warmed as he knew he would have held him, telling him not to be silly as he didn't intend to go anywhere.

Yet, here in the camp was not the place to let his feeling be seen. At this moment, he needed Arthur so much but he couldn't let on, as if he did; he wouldn't have been able to control his emotions and it would be proved once again as Arthur used to say, 'Merlin, you're such a girl…" He longed to hear Arthur say that but now was not the time to become maudlin. He'd cope, stay away from Arthur's arms and get involved with the situation in Dunnsford.

The third night, Mulgan, even next to the mare, had not settled. He kept the camp awake with his plaintive whinnying. Arthur grumbled and stuffed his blanket in his ears. He refrained for commenting as he knew that Merlin was awake.

Merlin waited until after dawn and slipped unheard out of the tent and made his way to the lines, he stood beside Mulgan and finally undid his rope. He felt Evan's eyes on him and he whispered, "I won't hurt him. We just need to have a heart to heart away from here. I'll be back, no need to notify anyone." Evan nodded and gave Merlin a leg up as he rode off bareback into the woods.

Mulgan was happy to be getting some exercise, Merlin made sure that he walked him on the grass beside the road until he was away from the camp. He then allowed him to follow the road as he pleased. There was something relaxing, almost hypnotising, listening to the rhythmic hoofbeats of a trotting horse. Merlin lost all sense of time and suddenly he realised that the sun was nearly overhead and Mulgan was walking, stopping occasionally to sample various vegetation along the trail.

"If Arthur were here, he'd blame Gidun for teaching you that bad habit." He told Mulgan and smiled as his heart was filled with memories of his beloved horse. He thought, 'Where are you? He had an inkling that the separation was not final and the overwhelming desire to call him hit him. So with tears streaming down his face, he called his name to the woods, sending up a flurry of birds.

Mulgan meantime had stopped and was waiting patiently. This gave Merlin a chance to rub his arm across his face to dry his tears and look around. He could see the swollen river through the trees at the bottom of the cliff. The woods were dark and oppressive, full of deadfalls and old wood. He put his heels into Mulgan and was surprised when instead of going forward, he turned into the middle of the road. Now, Gidun often had a mind of his own and Merlin would often allow him some freedom as to where they would go but Mulgan was the prince's horse and he did not take any liberties. He'd been trained to obey and not ask questions.

Merlin decided to turn him the other way but he could still not get the horse to advance. By now, he was no longer gently squeezing his flanks, he was digging his seat in and trying push him forward, using liberal kicks to get it into the horse's head that he wanted him to move on. Once again, Mulgan moved but only to make a turn on his forehand and face the opposite direction.

Suddenly he whinnied and Merlin felt the vibration through his hips to the tips of his toes and he threw his arms around the horse's neck and saying, "Forgive me, I can sometimes be so stupid."

Mulgan called again and Merlin sat perfectly still, his eyes were golden, his ears attuned to the slightest of sounds and a little smile started to play across his lips. He could hear a horse stamping its hoof somewhere below them. He tied Mulgan to a tree near the path and walked to the edge of the cliff. It was steep and rocky, not the kind of ground conducive to an easy descent... he remembered Gaius's favourite phrase, so saying, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained!" He grasped the lower branches of a fir trees and a sturdy shrub, saying, "God help me!" as he lowered himself backwards over the edge of the road.

His hands in no time were torn by needles and thorns. He lost his grip and turned on his backside, sliding about fifteen feet on shale, finally he stopped and listened. There was an overwhelming desire to call Gidun but he realised that the absolute horror of no response would break his heart.

He could see the river clearly now and there was a pebbly beach. The river was still fast and furious but it was so wide at this point that it seemed less threatening. He stood up, brushing the grit from his rear, realising that his pants were shredded. He closed his eyes and let nature speak to him and on an impulse turned left to walk back along the river. He heard a horse before he saw it and he started to run. His mind yelling, 'Gidun…! Please let it be Gidun…'

He rounded a beech and ahead of him caught on a deadfall was his horse. He stood there shaking and Gidun whickered at him and Merlin sobbing, raced for him. He wrapped his hands around his neck and cried bitterly in his mane, crying for all the pain he had experienced and the guilt he harboured for the way he had treated Arthur over the last three days.

"You're safe, I have you now. We'll get out of here somehow. Gidun's bridal was missing and he had eaten every single leaf within his reach. Merlin knew that he needed water but had to figure a way of removing the branches imprisoning him. He tried to lift his leg to clear a branch but for once Gidun refused to cooperate. Finally in desperation, he walked around him to see if it would be easier to remove the branches from that side. He managed to get a few loose but still the horse refused to budge and then Merlin realised that Gidun was purposely standing still as curled up underneath him was the body of a knight.

His heart clenched, he said, "Easy boy, easy!" and crawled under him to reach Simon. He got no response to his touching him and couldn't figure how to extricate him from his position. He got Gidun to move his right rear leg and managed to pull Simon to him. He cringed to think what would happen if Gidun placed his foot on the young man's chest. He could see his face but had little hope that he was alive, nevertheless he slipped his hand into a tear in his tunic and laid it over his heart, nothing. He put his head on his chest and with golden eyes listened for a pulse. There was something there. He commanded, "_Simon, audis mihi, exsuscitas!_" He placed his lips gently on Simon's and breathed his magic into him. It was exhausting but he continued until the man's colour improved and his eyelids fluttered.

Simon groaned and croaked, "Don't let Arthur know that you were kissing me, Merlin, he'll be furious…" and the two of them held each other crying. Simon looked up into Gidun's belly and said, "I think he was protecting me, I couldn't climb any further and he stayed with me."

Merlin smiled and reached forward and patted Gidun's foreleg and said, "I believe he was Simon. I'm going to try to slide you out. It's getting dark and I think we should make a fire and stay here overnight."

Suddenly there was the sound of a large animal approaching and Merlin looked up to see Mulgan. "How did you ever get down here?" He laughed as Gidun and he greeting each other as old friends.

The fire certainly helped Simon's frame of mind. All he wanted to do was talk about lying waiting for someone to come and falling asleep and then waking to Merlin's lips on his. "You kiss nicely, Merlin!" he teased.

Merlin smiled, deciding to nip the romance, if that was what it was in the bud. "Simon, I wasn't kissing you, I was sending my breath into your lungs to force you to breathe to get your heart pumping blood in your veins. Gaius told me how to do it." Attributing it to Gaius was an outright lie but Merlin had no better way of explaining the transfer of life. "It helped wake you up."

Merlin left him for a few moments, to backtrack to a stream he'd passed and to soak a neckerchief in water as Simon's lips were dry and his throat parched. He smiled hoping he did a better job of dribbling water into his mouth that he had the wine when Arthur insisted on being fed in bed. He missed him; he really did.

Once Simon's throat was feeling less dry, he fell asleep. He never mentioned any pain but Merlin noticed that he never moved his legs. While he was asleep, he checked him out for broken bones but could feel none.

-0-0-

Arthur was annoyed. Merlin had not woken him up and now Gielbert was calling the others for their morning get together.

He dressed as quickly as he could, missing the man even though he had been taciturn for the last few days. He'd have to do something about finding Merlin another horse. He knew it would never replace Gidun but at least he'd be able to ride with them. He hadn't slept well and whenever his mind relaxed enough to sleep, his heart would clench and he'd remember that Merlin's and his relationship was not on solid ground.

He was so busy with the knights and their plans that he didn't notice that Merlin was not around until noon when no one asked if he wanted anything to eat. He was famished and in a foul mood. He called Gielbert over and mentioned Merlin's absence.

"Maybe he's gone to get you something from the town. He'll be back soon, I'm sure. Do you want to come with us as we're all going to the meeting hall as the womenfolk are putting on a meal for the Camelot contingent?"

Arthur's hunger won out and he went up the road with the knights. Aislin mentioned that Arthur's horse had finally settled.

Arthur agreed saying that he had been ready to strangle if last night. He thought for a second that if Mulgan, a horse missed Gidun how awful it must be for Merlin but the thought went out of his mind as he saw the heaping plates of food doled out to the guards and the knights.

They sat on the stone wall outside someone's cottage and discussed their return to Camelot possibly without Simon. His parents would need to be notified and his younger brother Guy who was a page could maybe return home for a few weeks. Arthur shook his head, losing a young knight seemed the worst as they were full of plans and Simon had been one of Merlin's and his favourites. He smiled thinking of how Simon absolutely adored Merlin and as a young page would follow behind him having to run every now and again to keep up with him.

'Where in heaven's name was Merlin anyway?' Arthur was getting more annoyed by the hour. Slowly seeds of worry began to replace his anger. Merlin was always around. 'How could someone so clumsy just disappear? He'd better have a good reason for not putting in an appearance at all that morning.'

Gielbert had checked with the guards and no one had noticed Merlin helping in any jobs which had been assigned to them. He couldn't understand it as Merlin, although he had been distant over the last few days had still been around. What was he up to? Arthur looked as if he was on a slow boil and at any moment he might explode.

Arthur got up and walked over to Gielbert. "I've been watching you, you're worried about him as well." Gielbert shook his head. "Liar!" Arthur smiled and said, "I haven't know you for twenty-three years without being able to pick up on things. So stop lying! Spread the word among the knights that he's missing and you'd better find him if you know what's good for you…"

Gielbert was surprised at the veiled threat but figured it was worry. "When did you first notice him missing?"

"His bedroll was empty, early this morning but I figured he'd got up as he needed to go into the woods... Then I fell asleep and your announcement that you would be starting the meeting, woke me. Stupid fucking idiot! If he's got hurt, he'll not hear the end of this for a long time."

Gielbert was surprised at Arthur's intensity but then realised that without Merlin, Arthur could be a very different person to deal with. He'd already had three days under his belt in a state of semi-separation and he was coiled like a spring.

Rook walked over and said, "Arthur, what are you doing here? I thought you were out examining the damage on Mulgan."

Arthur spun on him, "What do you mean? What about Mulgan?"

He's not on the line. I thought you had him."

"Damn him. He's an inconsiderate peasant. Who does he think he is? I gave no one, permission to leave the camp. What is he playing at?" He spun around, "Send me Evan!" Arthur turned his face crumpling as he looked towards the river, he thought, 'That's it, he's gone!'

Evan took one look at Sir Rook's face and knew that he was in trouble. He glanced around, all the horses had been watered, fed and groomed. The tack was cleaned and any repairs had been made and then he remembered Merlin had taken Mulgan and had not returned and his heart dropped.

Walking over to Arthur, Evan remembered Merlin telling him as he left that he would be back and not to notify anyone. Sadly, Prince Arthur wasn't just anyone. Evan knew that as it was now late afternoon and Merlin had been missing since around dawn, he was going to have to tell the truth.

Arthur heard him out getting more annoyed by the minute, "Since when do you take orders from a servant?"

Evan was going to point out that it was Merlin but decided it was better to remain quiet.

"If anything has happened to him, I will hold you responsible for dereliction of duty, for not informing me this morning and you can kiss your job in the castle stable good-bye. Get out of my sight!"

Evan had never witnessed this side of the prince, he had been with him when Humphrey and he were captured that time but he had never seen him so cross. Aislin walked back with him to the lines where the horses were tied and said, "Don't take it to heart. He's really worried and lashing out at anyone he can. He won't remember what he's said, once he has Merlin safely beside him."

'I only hope so,' thought Evan.

It was twilight and a sense of dread had settled over the camp. If someone had something to say, Arthur glowered at them and they shut up immediately. So, no one spoke…

Gielbert walked over and sat beside him, "Arthur, we know that Merlin is quite capable…"

"When I want your opinion, Sir Knight, I'll ask for it!" Arthur retorted and Gielbert left him to his own thoughts.

Supper around the campfire was a very quiet affair and they all turned in early. No one wanting to be the recipient of the prince's displeasure…

-0-0-

Merlin slept better than he had since he had watched Gidun struggled against the current. He walked to the water's edge once it was light and figured that the river level was subsiding. He had to get back to the others and get help for Simon who he was now convinced would not be able to ride let alone walk.

"Simon, I am going to go and get help."

"I'll go with you, we have two horses; I'd like to ride Gidun and you can ride Arthur's horse."

Merlin looked at his expectant face and said, "Simon, listen carefully." He removed the one boot which he still had on and said, "What am I doing to your feet?"

"Nothing! Merlin, stop fooling."

Simon, watch me!" He lifted Simon's foot and ran a small twig up his sole and twisted his toes.

With a look of amazement on his face, Simon said, "I can hardly feel anything. What's wrong Merlin?"

"I think you have bruised your back and you have little feeling below your waist."

"It will come back won't it?"

"Well, I would like a physician to check it first but I think that as you have a little feeling, it probably means that it will be all right in the end."

He looked at him and said carefully, "If I leave now, I will be back with Arthur and Gielbert this afternoon. I will leave you Gidun for company. Could you keep an eye on him for me?"

Simon smiled, "You don't have to talk to me as if I'm not all here. I can hardly move so should Gidun decide to leave, I won't be any help."

"He'll stay, I promise you!" Merlin lead Gidun closer to Simon, turned him around so that he was facing him and stood in front of him. He rested his head on Gidun's forehead, his eyes turned golden and he whispered, "_Subsistas hic, equus!" _Merlin could see by Gidun's eyes that he was incapable of moving. Then for Simon's benefit he added, "Gidun, you will stay here. Do not leave Simon!"

Merlin made sure that Simon was comfortable and giving him a soaking neckerchief, he mounted Mulgan and let him find for himself the trail that he had used to descend the cliff and find them.

-0-0-

Arthur had not slept a wink. His mind was racing, he saw Merlin standing in the firelight in their chamber and him holding their only son. He saw him sobbing after meeting Gielbert's Aurora and the love which he had for Gaius. He felt him in the cave behind the water fall and reached out towards his bedroll knowing all the time that he wasn't there but hoping all the same that his hand would touch him. He remembered, the fun they had had rifling disused chambers to furnish their turret room and the hours of pleasure it had brought them. He needed him so much and he didn't know what to do.

He remembered that he had been busy with the townspeople and he hadn't been sympathetic about Gidun, He had allowed Merlin to distance himself and had been too stupid to realise it as a cry for help. He regretted it deeply and only wanted to see him, put his arms around him and hold him safely to himself. He said quietly, "Please God let it be that and nothing more sinister."

He had been cold hearted about Simon never acknowledging Merlin's missing him. He had been hurt and upset by his death and yet had been unwilling to share his feeling. He blamed himself completely and he missed the other person who would have helped him through this ordeal…Gaius!

Why couldn't he have insisted that Merlin tell him how he was feeling or maybe more importantly why hadn't he told Merlin how he was feeling! He was his own worse enemy.

He could see the sky lightening and slowly against his will, he drifted off…

Gielbert checked on him after the others had finished breakfast. He was still asleep and Gielbert remembered Arthur as the young boy, whom he as a squire had spent years with, supervising him and accompanying him on various outings. He wished that Leon or Sir Rupert were with them as they would know how to better cope with this. He was at a disadvantage; he had little experience with what he felt certainly were two heartbroken souls.

He picked up a bowl of porridge and approach Arthur's tent. He said quietly, "Arthur, it's time for you to have some breakfast and plan the day."

Arthur came to and focusing on the word breakfast, said, "Merlin? Oh God, Merlin!"

Gielbert said, "No, Sire, it's me Gielbert…"

"Go away! I'm not hungry." And so saying, Arthur buried his head beneath his blanket. There was no need for him to get up. There was no need for him to do anything. Without Merlin, the world might just as well carry on without him.

Gielbert walked over to Aislin and said, "We have to get him involved in a search. He's tuning out and it's going to be noticeable to the guards. Get all the knights together; we have to have a meeting."

Arthur did finally get up. He ate nothing and sat on the boulder, where he usually sat when they had their meetings, staring absent-mindedly at the river. If anyone one had got close enough to him they would have noticed that his eyes were tear filled and he kept repeating, "Forgive me, Merlin, I'm sorry!"

Meanwhile the person of interest was happily cantering back towards the town of Dunnsford. He'd found his young friend and his horse and every thing was going to be alright.

Wasn't it?


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4 : ****SUCCESS FOLLOWED BY** **DISASTER**

"Arthur," called Rook, later that afternoon, "The wandering one has returned…"

"Tell him, I want him here, now!" replied Arthur.

Gielbert relaxed, now the prince would be in a better frame of mind and they could once again get down to the work at hand and even plan their return to Camelot.

Merlin saw Arthur down near the beach, he grinned running towards him. "Arthur, I found Simon, he's…" He stopped dead as he saw the look on Arthur's face.

Arthur didn't understand his reaction to seeing Merlin, that grin, his obvious happiness had the reverse affect on him. He wanted to punish him for the agony which he had experienced being left alone. He had a flash of Gauis telling him that it was a fault to approach any problems by attacking but that is exactly what he did.

"You stupid, ignorant fool! Who gave you permission to go traipsing around the countryside by yourself with my horse? He's mine, not yours to take whenever you want. We came here to work not play!"

"But, Arthur, I was trying to find…" Merlin's eyes were huge. He couldn't understand Arthur's attitude, surely he should be happy that he had found Simon and he hadn't even had the chance to tell him the good news about Gidun.

Aislin and Gielbert stood rooted to the ground, shocked at the viciousness of Arthur's words. Gielbert was hurting for Merlin so he dropped his eyes to his boots unwilling to see the sadness in the man's eyes. He knew that any minute now, Arthur would grab Merlin in a big hug, punch him in the shoulder saying, 'Merlin, got you! Fooled you…' and there would be smiles all around.

Yet, it didn't happen…Arthur continued his tirade, "You are a servant not a prince. I make the decisions and you, by God, will follow them if you know what is good for you. You talk to me as if I am your equal and to my knights as if they are your personal friends. Learn your place, peasant, or you'll be out of a job. In future, you will…"

Merlin took a deep breath and interrupted him saying, "Arthur, it's me Merlin. You can't mean what you're saying. You're my…"

"Shut up! Do not interrupt me, I am the Crown Prince. When will you learn to respect the position if not the person who holds it?" Merlin opened his mouth and Arthur took one step forward, saying menacingly, in his face, "Shut the fuck, up!" He lifted his hand and gave Merlin a stinging slap across the face, then lowered his hands to his shoulders giving him an extra push so that he lost his balance and went down on his knees. "That's your position in life, Merlin," he sneered. "Remember it!"

Arthur was shocked at what he had done. He had hit Merlin in anger. Never in all their ten years together had that ever happened. He felt sick…his couldn't breathe…his hand was stinging…he wanted to drop to his knees to plead for forgiveness and hear Merlin tell him that he understood and loved him…and feel his arms around him…

Gielbert head snapped up at the sound of the threatening voice and he witnessed the slap and for some unknown reason, he thought of Gawaine and grabbed Arthur's arm. "Stop it! Damn it, that's enough, Arthur!"

Aislin leant over and helped Merlin upright.

But Arthur wasn't finished, he turned on Gielbert threatening, "Who do you think you are…challenging the Crown Prince? Unhand me!"

He glared again at Merlin, saying, "You are nothing more than a worthless piece of shit. Why I wasted my time with you, I honestly don't know?" Arthur felt no better for the outburst; he felt worse!

Merlin gazed wide-eyed with shock at Arthur. Somewhere in Merlin's mind, a dream resurrected. He couldn't remember what had caused it but he vividly remembered telling Arthur, he had called him that and his saying, 'Merlin, if ever I said that to you, you would know that it wasn't really me. I know that it wasn't me in your dream, as I would never ever call you that.' Arthur had smiled. 'Maybe a pig-headed horse might receive that honour but never you...You're the love of my life, the centre of my universe, the reason my heart beats, my beloved...! I could never say that to you!' and he had held him and gently kissed him.

Where was that Arthur now? Merlin's heart raced whatever had he done to deserve this reception? His brain was spinning with possible scenarios and he was at a loss…

Arthur yelled at Gielbert, "Get him out of my sight, as I won't be responsible for what I might do to him!"

Merlin had often been frightened _for_ but never frightened _by_ Arthur. The words were tearing at his heart. This couldn't be his best friend.

Arthur turned away from the three of them and glared at the river.

Gielbert stepped in, put his arm around Merlin's shoulders glancing at the red hand mark on his face as Rook put his arm around his waist and they dragged the distraught man away. He turned to plead one more time but Arthur was still facing the river, his body ramrod straight, his fists clenched.

"What the hell happened there?" Aislin asked quietly when they had gone a little way back towards the camp.

"Haven't a clue. I've never seen him like that before," said Gielbert. "Anyway, let him stew in his own juices. Merlin, you've got to go and collect Simon."

Gielbert took Merlin on one side saying, "I'm sorry I can't go with you to get Simon. You understand, I have to go back to Arthur, don't you? I'm worried. You take my horse and ride back with the others to Simon. Thanks for finding him."

Merlin nodded sadly and replied, "Please, Gielbert, look after him, I've never seen him like this…ever!"

Aislin arranged a wagon from the village, and Merlin led them out of Dunnsford to where he'd left Simon watching over Gidun.

Gielbert had a word with the Captain of the Guard. Arthur was not to be disturbed; any problems which arose would be settled between the two of them. The man nodded and went back to his men. A worried Gielbert went to sit on the boulder watching Arthur as he paced the beach mumbling to himself. He knew better than to interfere. At dusk, he heard the wagon return and climbed up the bank to watch them unload Simon on a litter. He went over and welcomed him back and promised that he would see to it that he was up and around before the summer tournament. Simon gave a worried smile.

-0-0-

Merlin thanked the farmer for the loan of the wagon. Simon was still unable to move any limbs below his chest. He said that he was feeling much better after the water and food which Merlin had taken with him. "What happened to your face Merlin? Did someone slap you?"

He noticed Merlin glancing quickly at Rook before he said, "Nothing but a damned tree and didn't I stupidly walk into it?" Simon could feel the undercurrent between the two of them but he just figured that it was because Merlin was exhausted and relieved to have Gidun back.

One of the wives of the elders, insisted that Simon be brought to her home as she had an extra room. She had also sent for the local healer which was the best they could do as there was no physician in town. Simon was made comfortable and Merlin had a chance to ask after Arthur. Gielbert shook his head, saying that he was still on the beach, pacing and not seeming to realise what had happened.

Merlin made a decision to stay with Simon and mentioned that he would, possibly after the healer had seen him, try to approach Arthur again.

"Not alone, you don't!" said Gielbert. "I'm serious, he's not himself. You'd be putting yourself in danger. There's no explaining it. He was annoyed and upset, more than a bit frazzled when you were missing but then he just blew his top when he saw you."

Merlin shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't going to give up on Arthur as easily as that. Was it something that had been festering in his mind for a long time but then he remembered how he had hauled him out of the river when Gidun has slipped away from him. Arthur still loved him he was sure, there had to be some other explanation.

Merlin turned as the housewife and another women entered the room. "This is Bridget but we call her Biddy. She is great at delivering babies but is also called upon when men are injured in the fields or in fights outside the pub."

Merlin smiled, Biddy was an older woman, rotund, with the kindest eyes and chubby cheeks. He said smiling, "This is Simon, he saved my horse in the river but was pretty well thrown around and has no control of his legs."

"Well, let's get these pants off and see if we can find anything." Before Simon could protest he was lying on the bed naked from the waist down. Biddy prodded and poked him, examining the bruises and had Merlin roll him on his side so she could check his badly bruised back. She talked the whole time and Merlin agreed with what she was saying.

"Lad, I'm going to run my fingers down your back and you will tell me when you can no longer feel them." Simon did as he was told and by the time Biddy reached his lower back he acknowledged that he had less and less feeling.

"You need to rest, no getting up for at least a few weeks and then regardless of how you feel only light work. No galloping around saving fair damsels in distress." Simon chuckled. Biddy threw a blanket over him and called Merlin to the table and gave him a handful of salves and vials of medicine. "Don't worry, nothing that I wouldn't take myself," she said laughing.

Merlin asked her to spell out what was in each and she was pleased to see that he had a rudimentary knowledge of healing. He explained that his mam had the same position as she did but in a much smaller village and he had helped the court physician in Camelot for a short time.

"You could probably teach me a thing or two, young man! Look after your friend." She turned to Simon and said, "Remember what I said, Handsome, rest is the best medicine for your problem. I'll drop by again tomorrow to check on you." …and with that she was gone bustling into the kitchen to have a cup of tea with her friend.

-0-0-

Merlin ate supper with Simon, Thomas had also joined them. There was really not enough room for three of them in the little box-room. Merlin asked Thomas to stay as he was going to see Arthur. "Tell him, how clever you were in finding me…" called Simon as he left. Merlin felt sick whereas normally he would have been happy to see Arthur, however this time, he was nervous.

He walked down to the camp and Rook, Gielbert and Aislin were having supper. There was no sign of Arthur.

They looked up as he approached and Gielbert put his finger to his lips and pointed to Arthur's tent. "He wouldn't eat, said that he wasn't hungry and felt sick, so I encouraged him to have an early night. That's not like the Arthur we know, to take directions so easily."

"I'll check on him!"

Gielbert grabbed his sleeve, "No, you won't! Leave him to me. Maybe tomorrow depending on how he feels, you two could try to have a civil conversation."

"What's happened to him? It was as if the last ten years had been wiped from his memory and he was his father dealing with a servant." Merlin's voice broke, "Did he even remember about us, do you think?"

Aislin spoke up, "I think, something has happened, he's either stressed himself out or he's exhausted and not thinking properly."

Gielbert added, "He paced from the time you left until he was staggering and I approached him about supper. I'm not the first one to say it but I'm worried about him."

Following supper, Merlin went to clear things away but Rook, said, "Leave it, I'll do it!" He picked up their bowls and the cooking pot.

The others sat around the dying fire, until Gielbert said, "Well, that's me…I'm turning in." The others agree and made their way to their tents, Merlin hesitated making his way to Arthur's tent where his bedroll was. Gielbert grabbed him and shook his head. "Not tonight. Leave him be! You can use Simon's; it was thrown in my tent."

Merlin went to wrench away but Gielbert had a good grip on him. He continued, "Merlin, at the moment I have taken on the leadership of this expedition and you have to answer to me. So, I am telling you in no uncertain terms, that you are sleeping with me. No arguing!"

He turned and marched Merlin to his tent and waited for him to settle before rolling himself up in his own blanket.

It was still dark, when he was awoken by Merlin leaving the tent. He gave him the benefit of the doubt that he needed to go into the woods. When after a little while, he hadn't returned, he got up and started looking for him. He didn't have to look far as he found him sitting in front of Arthur's tent keeping watch over him. He shook his head sadly and returned to bed.

He was disturbed just after dawn, when Merlin returned, lying down beside him and finally after much tossing and turning, falling asleep.

-0-0-

Gielbert could hear the guards getting their breakfast. The little area were the knights were staying was quiet, as none of them had yet risen. He could see Arthur's tent from where he was and decided to just wander over to see that everything was alright.

He left the still sleeping Merlin and saw that Aislin was also awake. He motioned that he was going to check on Arthur.

Feeling a little uncomfortable as he didn't know what reception he might receive, he knelt down and peered in. Arthur was still dead to the world. He wasn't too happy about that as he had turned in so early the evening before, that he would have expected him to at least be awake. He crawled in and watched him carefully. He didn't like the look of him.

Gielbert's first thought was to rouse Merlin and let him check on him but that might cause more trouble. He backed out of the confining space and went over to Aislin who was stretching complaining that he had a kink in his back. "I don't like the look of him, and I didn't dare touch him...he seems unresponsive. The old Arthur would have heard me coming a mile away."

"What about Merlin?" suggested Aislin.

"He was up all night, keeping watch outside Arthur's tent. He only returned to his bedroll after dawn. I'm loathe to wake him. He's been through enough over the last couple of days."

"You let him go near him? I thought you didn't want him anywhere near Arthur…"

"I didn't have any choice; he left without my blessing I can assure you! He just sat near the tent."

Rook walked over to join them. "So how's Happy Larry this morning?" They both glared at him.

"Grab something to eat from the guards and go and stay with Simon. If he asks about Merlin lie, tell him that Arthur wanted him. Send Thomas back here." Gielbert said.

When there were just the two of them, Aislin asked, "It's not good is it?"

Gielbert shook his head, "Get the water skins and have a guard fill them, we'll need them if he has a fever. Get me something to eat at the same time, do the same for yourself and get something for Merlin. Come back here and by then, maybe we'll have an idea of what to do…!"

Merlin appeared, tousled haired with eyes puffy from lack of sleep. He went to turn towards Arthur's tent but saw Gielbert and changed his mind. He walked over with his head down and Gielbert knew that he expected to be challenged about last night.

He looked up and Gilbert instead smiled sympathetically. "I've sent Aislin to get breakfast and told Rook to stay with Simon. You'll have something to eat and then we'll make plans."

Aislin and Thomas appeared at that moment and relieved Gielbert of having to say anything else. Thomas said that Simon had had a good night. He'd had breakfast and was resting as he had been told to. Aislin dropped the water skins beside his tent. Then he walked over to join them as Thomas doled out the porridge,

Merlin couldn't settle, he didn't want porridge and his eyes kept flicking over to Arthur's tent and then searching the beach to see if he was down there. His mind was in top gear, questions were firing off and he was trying to keep focused on what was actually happening. He thought, 'How was he? Where is he? Has he had anything to eat? Was he his old self again or…?' Why did he keep feeling that it was going to be worse than yesterday?

Finally, he put his bowl down, stood up and said, "I have to see him, Gielbert, where is he?"

"Merlin," the older man said, "Sit down and listen." Merlin did as he was told. "Arthur is still in his tent, he seems to be asleep. I didn't touch him but he should have heard me…"

"You should have woken me, he'll need me…"

"I wanted you to eat something…you were after all, up nearly all night!" Merlin had the decency to look guilty. "If you have finished, we will now go to see him."

Gielbert motioned to Aislin and Thomas to be at the ready. He didn't want Merlin hurt and allowing him to crawl into the tent, in a confined space with Arthur should he now be awake, might cause problems.

Merlin took a deep breath and knelt, he scooted in next to Arthur and realised that things were not right. Slowly, he put out his hand to touch him. Arthur's skin, was rather warm and moinst, his body slack.

Turning back to Gielbert, he said, "Get this roof cover out of the way and I need water from the stream not the river. Gielbert, help me with him."

Merlin's stomach was clenching. Gaius had over many years, impressed upon him that fevers usually claimed more people than their actual injuries. He remembered yarrow as an herb for increasing the sweating to help rid the body of illness. The patient had to be encouraged to drink fluids often times with echinacea, chamomile or goldenseal but it was too early in the season for such blooms. Hopefully, he was just warm from being in the tent and not coming down with a fever. Where was Gaius, when Arthur needed him?

"Help me straighten him up. My bedroll can be a pillow." As Arthur was unresponsive, Gielbert had no fear that he was going to further hurt Merlin, so he did what Merlin wanted.

"Merlin, couldn't we take him somewhere safe in the town?"

"Not yet…I want to get an idea of what is wrong with him first, away from prying eyes. Let's take off his jacket and tunic"

Gielbert helped and soon Arthur was lying back slightly raised up. He had not shown any sign that he was conscious of Merlin's presence, he had whimpered as they had moved him but Merlin was sure that was just a reaction to being touched not actual pain.

Merlin said, "I need to get something out of my saddle bag. It is probably soaking but Gaius wrapped the vial in oilskin as a precaution. Take off his boots and we can do a body check." Merlin returned with his little package and placed it on one side. He smiled saying, "Evan is already working on the leather trying to get it supple again."

Gielbert and he checked Arthur out as they would someone injured in a battle. There were no broken bones but Arthur had been conscious of their hands especially Merlin's as he had turned toward him. Gielbert was immediately on the alert but Merlin just leant over and kissed Arthur's forehead saying, "Stay still, it's alright I'm here…"

Gielbert saw the look in Merlin's eyes and was pleased that after what had happened Merlin was still capable of loving Arthur.

Merlin took the little water and dripped it into the corner of Arthur's mouth. He massaged his throat and nodded approvingly when he automatically swallowed. He explained to Gielbert that Gaius's medication needed only to be held on the tongue to work but he didn't want it dribbling out of Arthur's mouth as he had only this one vial.

"What is it? Gielbert asked.

Merlin explained that it was a concoction of the essences of different flowers and he and Gaius referred to it as 'Arthur's Rescue Remedy'. "It just takes the edge off a person's mind and makes them easier to live with." He smiled sadly.

"Does it work for other people too?"

"Yes, but I have such a limited amount; I don't intend to let you try it Gielbert. Anyway, you're mellow enough as it is!"

"You know he loves you don't you?"

"He did…" Merlin stroked Arthur's hair out of his eyes and rubbed the back of his index finger down his cheek. He took his hand and kissed it and Arthur's fingers curled around his.

"See, Merlin he still does! This whole mess has to do with how much he loves you, I'm certain…"

"Maybe," said Merlin, "We'll just have to wait to see what happens. Have the others carry him up to your tent. They can watch over him so you can talk to the town council to see if someone might be willing to put up the crown prince in their house until he is well enough to leave. I'll go with you as I would also like to let Biddy, the healer see him after she's checked on Simon."

"How long before we can go home?"

"Honestly, I don't know but I feel more confident than I did when you first described his condition." Merlin had to detach his hand from Arthur's grip before standing up.

As they finally made there way up to the town, Gielbert asked, "By the way, how's Gidun?"

"A little scratched up, probably stiff and sore but he's alive and safe with Evan who is great with all the horses. Mulgan has settled as well now that his buddy is back."

And Gielbert thought but didn't say, '…as Arthur will soon...hopefully'


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 : DEALING WITH AN UNIDENTIFIED SICKNESS**

The head of the Dunnsford council had been only too happy to offer accommodation for Arthur. He had wanted the knights to be housed by the town council from the beginning but it was Arthur who had wanted to keep all the men together in the camp. Gielbert had explained that he would have a manservant with him and would be no trouble to him and his good wife. He had to smile as the wife was puffed up like a peacock having such an illustrious guest. He accepted the offers for the knights to also live in town.

Actually it had worked out well, the knights were offered accommodation in a house empty because of the drowning death of its owners. Simon would join them if the healer agreed. They were used to living together so they would get on well. The married daughter of the former owners offered to cook for them and even keep an eye on Simon if needed.

The camp below the town on the beach was dismantled and by that evening, the knights were relocated in town. The guards still remained in their camp.

Merlin didn't get much sleep, Thomas stayed with him until after midnight when Merlin said that as Arthur seemed to be sleeping quietly, he might as well go back to his own bed. Merlin kept regularly administering Gaius's potion. Arthur no longer seemed overly hot and Merlin breathed a sigh of relief.

The bed was big and Merlin fully clothed lay beside Arthur. Sometime during the night he felt Arthur move but then he settled and Merlin dropped off again. He woke in the morning with Arthur snuggled into his side and he cried tears of relief. He managed to extricate himself and gave him a few more drops of the remedy.

He was sure that Arthur was going to wake up today but he had a niggling thought in his mind that when that happened he should have backup with him just in case. He would never be able to present his side of an argument, if he were lying on the floor injured. He intended to prove that he loved him and deserved to still be his.

There was tap on the door and a young boy brought in enough breakfast for two, he said, "My mother asked me to bring you food, is there anything else you need?" Merlin thanked him and added, "Maybe some hot water later on?" The boy smiled shyly and left. Merlin ate, he was hungry, his last meal had been porridge yesterday morning.

Later, he opened the windows and let fresh air in. The birds were singing and he felt that if Arthur could distinguish sounds, birdsongs might be relaxing. He had just finished washing him and freshening himself up when there was a tap at the door.

Gielbert walked in. He smiled and relaxed at the ordinary scene before him and remarked, "Well, he looks more like himself this morning! Did you manage to get any sleep?"

"I did or should I say, we did. He didn't really disturb me all night," … and wanting so much to have someone know, he said, "…and when I awoke this morning it seemed almost normal as he had his arm over me and was cuddled into my side. Force of habit, I should think as he has not shown any signs of waking up."

"He will and when he does, he'll be relieved to see you."

Merlin looked at him and sadly shook his head, "I hope so… I really hope so!"

Leaving Gielbert in charge, he went to visit Simon, who was full of the joys of spring as he could now, feel his thighs. "See, Merlin, you can tell Arthur that I'll be jousting against him this summer.

Merlin said, "We'll see. Are they treating you well here?"

"Oh yes! Biddy has been in to see me and is pleased with my progress. Mrs. Sparrow is very good and sits with me during the afternoons, telling me all about her life in Dunnsford and how she met her husband and all about her girls and boys and their families…knitting the whole time!" Simon put back his head and laughed.

It did Merlin good to see him like that and wished that Arthur had reached that stage. He refrained from mentioning Arthur's health. Simon had enough on his plate as it was. "Well, I'd better get back to 'his majesty'. Don't want him to think that I'm shirking my duties! I'll drop by this evening, if I can."

He met Mrs. Sparrow on the stairs and mentioned how kind she was to have taken Simon in.

"He's a real gentleman and thinks the world of you and the Crown Prince. I sit with him in the afternoons and he never stops talking about the two of you."

"Good things, I hope?"

"Oh yes! He said that you saved his life once and Prince Arthur has always been very nice to him. He's a credit to Camelot, is that young knight." Then her face fell, "By the way, how is the prince, I heard that he is poorly?"

"He's on the mend but don't tell Simon that he hasn't been well as I want him to think only of himself at the moment."

"Alright, Ducky, you can count on me!"

Merlin smiled as he left the house. Now back to his other patient and hopefully there would be some improvement there as well.

The weather was holding the river was slowly going down, by the time they had to leave he hoped that they would be able to use the ford with no problems. He walked across town nodding at the guards who were working on a storage shed. The townsfolk would still need help but all the extra hands sent by Camelot and the surrounding villages had certainly helped with the rebuilding.

-0-0-

Merlin strolled to the house where Arthur was staying. Gielbert met him at the chamber door and said, "He shuddered, turned over and mumbled something. I think he will soon come round."

"What did he say?" Merlin asked looking at Gielbert expectantly.

Not a word passed Gielbert's lips.

"Gielbert, you have to tell me what he said!" Gielbert shook his head but Merlin insisted, "He didn't say anything? Or you couldn't catch what he said? You have to let me know!"

Looking down at the wooden floor, Gielbert said quietly, "He said, 'Peasant and Servant' and he moaned…I thought he was going to wake up but he just settled back to sleep"

Merlin was struck by sadness. Arthur's first words were hurtful. He wondered, 'Where was he? Where was his mind?'

Gielbert put his arm around his shoulders as he saw his crestfallen look. "He probably was miles away; he wasn't necessarily speaking about you."

"Has he ever called anyone else, a peasant or a servant within the last forty-eight hours. He was referring to me!"

"But he's not really conscious; it was just the mumbling of a lost mind."

Merlin felt sick. He had been on a high after waking to find Arthur snuggled into him and now he crashed earthward. "Did you say anything?"

"No! By the time he was mumbling, he was almost asleep again. He never opened his eyes." Gielbert turned to face Merlin; he could see the seeds of defeat in his eyes. "Don't let it get you down, trust him."

"I know you are trying to help. Sorry if I were rude, I'll stay with him now. I think Aislin will be expecting you."

Gielbert turned to leave, he would have preferred to have stayed, however he knew it was Merlin's place to be with Arthur and he smiled as he felt that he was being dismissed, "Don't give up on him. You know him almost better than he knows himself." He closed the door quietly after him.

Merlin walked over to Arthur and brushed the hair off his forehead saying, "Arthur, where are you? Please come back…!"

Lunch was served but he just ate an apple and some cheese. He had no appetite. His whole mind was occupied with Arthur's lying so still in the bed. He found himself thinking, 'O.K., Arthur, time to get up!' But if his mind wasn't ready to let go of whatever had it in its grasp, pleading didn't make any sense.

He knelt at the side of the bed where Arthur was facing, he blew gently on his face but nothing. He told him how he felt about him and how he missed him. He started reminding him of all the little easy to understand things which they had done since he had arrived from Ealdor. He spoke of tournaments and Yuletide, of horses and falcons. He spoke of Gaius and felt sure that Arthur moved slightly.

He told him how his mam was a friend of Gaius and how he used to live in the little room up the stairs in Gaius's chamber. He reminded him that he had saved his life in the courtyard and how the king had insisted that he become a member of the royal staff, a manservant to the Crown Prince of Camelot. He whispered little nonsensical phrases and used words which were for Arthur's ears alone.

Finally in frustration as it was starting to get dark, he put his head on the side of the bed and cried himself to sleep. He was awoken by fingers entwined in his hair and Arthur's breathing pattern had changed. He was a captive not only unable but unwilling to move. He lifted his head slightly but it was too dark to make out Arthur's features. His knees were sore and locked and his back was hurting him but he was determined to stay there as long as was physically possible.

Arthur's fingers where they touched his scalp and his neck were warm and he was picking up electrical charges. He concentrated and allowed his magic to flow into Arthur's fingers and hopefully into his heart and mind.

There was a tap at the door and Aislin called, "May I come in?" and Arthur shifted in the bed, letting go of Merlin's hair and Merlin brushed the tears from his face.

He pushed himself to his feet and walked shakily to the door; his legs were stiff and hurt. He opened it admitting Aislin with a platter of food enough for three. "I'm here to relieve you for a while. Gielbert thinks you should get a little fresh air. Go to the well and freshen up and come back as I'm having supper with the two of you tonight."

He did as Aislin suggested but couldn't stay out long. Arthur and he could have sat on the stone wall and talked each other's leg off but not know… Merlin returned to the room and Aislin and he started to eat. He had no appetite but knew that if he got run down, he would be of no use to anyone so he forced himself to eat.

He fed Arthur his remedy and asked Aislin to help straighten him out in the bed. Arthur didn't resist, he remained pliable like a rag doll. Merlin pulled the sheet up to his chest and left him. Knowing that Aislin would be reporting to Gielbert, he told him how Arthur had not moved all afternoon. He couldn't share, via a third person, the fingers entwined in his hair episode so he kept it to himself.

It was almost midnight when he finally lay down on the bed. His mind wouldn't settle and he was waiting for Arthur to move to him but he didn't. The moon was bright and he pushed himself up on one elbow and studied Arthur's face. He was certain that he wasn't in physical pain, he might, however be experiencing distress in his mind but Merlin didn't really understand things like that. A physical ailment which he could see, he could try to fix but sadness and emotional turmoil were beyond his care giving abilities.

He whispered, "Arthur, if you can hear me, know that my love for you has never faltered. It is stronger today than it was that first night. I consider you a part of myself, a wonderful gift which you freely gave me and which I returned to you. I honestly can't see myself lasting very long without you." He paused thinking that if Arthur opened his eyes now, would he accept that Merlin was in bed with him and smile, content at seeing and feeling him next to him or would he shove him away, spitting spiteful words and mind shattering phrases?

The possibility of the latter caused his stomach to clench and he let himself slip into a negative place where he seldom went. He second guessed his right to be with Arthur who was after all, the crown prince, while he was of peasant stock and a servant but he was not an idiot. Seldom in his life had he acted idiotically. True that with Arthur he was more relaxed and easy going but he always knew that he had responsibilities that were his alone to face. He could hear Gaius saying, 'Remember, always be careful, Camelot can be a dangerous place for you.' His mind flitted to his mother, 'Please, Merlin, think before you act. People won't understand as I do.'

…and then he remembered the unicorn and tears fell…If only Arthur knew, he would realise how unimportant one's birth was, it was what you accomplished in life that mattered. His elbow was hurting and he slipped onto his side, praying that Arthur would show just one little sign that he was coming out of whatever held him captive and that he would have forgotten his unkind words and accusations.

Eventually he felt asleep, only to be woken as Arthur again turned into him but this time, clearly mumbling three words which gave Merlin the ability to face whatever was going to happen. Arthur had said, "Merlin, my Love!"

Merlin wiped his tears away and did something that he had wanted to do for days, he snuggled back into Arthur. Smiling in the darkness, he said possibly to unhearing ears, "I'm here, Arthur, I'll never leave you…"

-0-0-

Merlin was awake at dawn with Arthur's arm over him and their legs entangled. He thanked God for these moments unwilling to move, unwilling to face the reality of Arthur's still being distant and unresponsive. He loved the weight of Arthur against him and played over in his mind, those three words, 'Merlin my Love', whispered last night. He made a decision that regardless of the outcome, he belonged with Arthur for life and if all they could ever experience amounted to no more than what had happened last night, he was willing to accept that small token as love.

As the sounds of an awakening house came to his ears, he gently took Arthur's hand and kissed it lying it back on the bed. He slipped his legs carefully away so as not to waken him and slid off the bed. He pulled the sheet up around him and walked to the window. He turned to look back at the prince and noticed again that he was now on his back, his eye lids were fluttering, not opening just twitching. At the same time, his lips were pursing and he seemed to be in that place where your mind is, as you are awakening and your body is fighting to remain asleep. Arthur's breathing more resembled a conscious person's, but even though Merlin hoped for further indications of his coming around…nothing happened.

He went to the bed saying, "It's alright love, we have plenty of time. Soon, I'll get you washed and then you can have some of Gaius's 'Rescue Remedy' and today we might even try to get some nutrition down you. Can't have you losing too much weight, can we?" Again, Arthur seemed to react but nothing happened and Merlin wondered if on his part, it was wishful thinking.

There was a tap on the door and the same young boy brought in breakfast. He put the platter on the table and Merlin requested some warm water.

Walking to the bed, he smiled as Arthur opened his lips when he touched them enabling him to allow a few drops of the remedy to fall onto his tongue. Arthur rubbed his tongue against the roof of his mouth. Things were looking better by the hour.

He got a bowl of warm water and a cloth and washed Arthur's face and neck, chatting continually, having decided that if Arthur was somehow listening that maybe normal chatter would speed up his recovery. He held his hands and washed them between his own, seeing the scars and the calluses. He gently dried them, kissing them before he laid them back on the bed, He continued freshening him up as he had on many occasions under Gaius's guidance. His mind flashed back to those times when he was so worried that Arthur would not survive. For some reason, he felt more confident this time…

There was a tap on the door and Gielbert came in followed by Thomas. "He looks better today, has more colour and seems more relaxed." Thomas laughed at the other two, as relaxed was what Arthur had been for the last two days. They smiled, "You know what I mean, he looks as if he is sleeping, his breathing sounds good and I bet you, he snored last night…eh, Merlin?"

Merlin smiled, he agreed that Arthur did look better. Gielbert turned to him and said, "Thomas is going to relieve you here and you and I are going to spend a little time together. You need a break and some time away from him. We have things to discuss about returning home with our two invalids."

-0-0-

The two of them, the knight and the servant, walked to the boulder where Arthur used to sit. Gielbert motioned Merlin to sit and he crouched at his feet. "So, how was it last night?"

Merlin grinned and said, "Sir Knight, if you had asked me that two weeks ago, I would have been well within my rights to tell you to sod off!"

Gielbert was pleased to see that as time passed Merlin had lost the haunted look and seemed back to his old self. He still had the shadow of a bruise across his cheek but he never complained and the colour was fading. He said, "Come on, Merlin, I'm an old married man, you can talk to me."

"Married maybe, but not old, what, you're no more than nine years older than I am!"

"Ah, yes, but I have years of experience under my belt!"

Merlin suddenly looked serious, "I didn't tell Aislin but late yesterday afternoon I was on my knees by the bed and I must have fallen asleep and I woke to Arthur's fingers entwined in my hair. His breathing pattern had become more normal, as if he were just sleeping.

"I've been talking to him continually, never mentioned anything negative just chatting away. Telling him, how I feel about him and that I want him to wake up soon. Last night, he turned into me and mumbled, 'Merlin, My Love'." Merlin's eyes were now tear filled and Gielbert put a comforting hand on his knee. "I told him that I was there and would never leave him.

"This morning, when I touched his lips prior to giving him the drops, he opened them and then when he had the drops on his tongue, he rubbed it against the roof of his mouth. He has also turned by himself in the bed. It means something, doesn't it, Gielbert?"

"Well, it sounds to me that a corner has been turned and he is certainly coming to."

"Will someone be with me when he opens his eyes and sees me Gielbert? I'm a little frightened."

Not finding that statement at all strange from someone who had been vilified and abused, Gielbert stood and said, "Merlin, we will all support you but Arthur may just open his eyes and smile at you, telling you he's hungry and asking where is his breakfast? You know Arthur…"

"That would be the best scenario but somehow, if have my doubts…"

"Merlin, Arthur loves you and this behaviour is not true to his character. Something happened. Let's walk up to the inn. I'm thirsty doing all this second guessing and we have yet to discuss transport for the two of them."

They reached the inn and sat on a bench beneath the trees. They wanted privacy. They had decided that Arthur and Simon could be carried by litter across the boat-bridge and then placed in a wagon. They could either buy the horse and wagon, having Evan drive it or if the farmer preferred, he could rent himself, the wagon and the horse to the knights and bring it back once the special cargo had been delivered.

Merlin was agreeable either way but he wanted to purchase extra blankets and rugs to make travelling easier for the patients. He also wanted a semi roof constructed to keep the sun and/or rain off the occupants.

Gielbert smiled to himself this was the old Merlin before him. They were interrupted by the arrival of the Captain of the Guard, who acknowledge Merlin and asked if he might speak to the knight privately. "No need for that Boris, you may say whatever you have to, in front of Merlin."

The man nodded. "Sir, there was trouble in the camp overnight. Two best friends fought, one is dead and the other is comatose even though he received no blows to his person."

Merlin's ears perked up, this was sadly familiar. The man continued, "The dead man did nothing to warrant the attack, they had been friends for years, cousins actually. The attacker had recently been a little touchy; had pulled away and become unfriendly to the others. We have him under guard but he's not going anywhere in the condition, he's in."

Gielbert said, "Thank you Boris. Merlin and I will follow you to see this fellow." Boris led the way and Gielbert turned looking questioningly at Merlin. The scenario was almost hauntingly similar to the Arthur/Merlin fiasco but thank God, Merlin's injury was not fatal as Arthur had yelled at him to go away.

Merlin went to the guard's camp and lying on a bedroll devoid of any sign of life was the survivor. Merlin undid his tunic and listened to his chest. There was a very faint heartbeat, his features were completely relaxed but his colour was grey. Merlin suggested that Boris keep the man out of the direct sum and that should he start to sweat, cool compresses might help. Boris nodded as Merlin sounded like Gaius.

Merlin stood up and walked away, Gielbert trailing him. He kept shaking his head and Gielbert said, "What is it?"

"It's just like Arthur when I first saw him. I don't know what to do?" He looked at Gielbert with pleading eyes, "I don't have enough of Gaius's remedy for both of them." He shook his head, "…but I can't make that decision!"

"Well, I can, Arthur comes first, when he comes around and if you still have some remedy left, you can try it on the other chap."

"I need to see him right now!" and Merlin turned running toward the house in which Arthur lay.

Gielbert sent word back that the murder victim should be buried with the flood victims; they would not be taking the body back to Camelot.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6 : TO KISS IT BETTER**

Merlin burst into the room, surprising Sir Rook who was sitting in the chair by the window with his feet propped on the window sill. "Is everything alright?" he asked the flustered Merlin.

"Has he said anything, has he moved by himself?"

"No, but he was snoring slightly."

Merlin smiled, Arthur did occasionally snore.

"The young boy came up to say that the cook has made some chicken broth for Arthur and you just have to send word when you want it and the same goes for our lunch."

"Well, I think first I will give him the drops and then after we have something to eat, I can try him on a little well diluted broth. Watch, he'll open his mouth for the drops. He's getting better isn't he?"

Rook looked at Arthur and marvelled how the ability to open one's mouth when prompted by someone touching your lips, could be considered mind shaking in the light of the crown prince's fighting abilities. He suddenly realised that in the light of Arthur's condition over the last couple of days, Merlin was right this was a noteworthy improvement.

Over lunch, Merlin told him of their plans for transporting Simon and Arthur and then in a quieter voice told him of the happenings at the guards' camp. Rook was shocked but agreed it was too much of a coincidence that two individuals should come down with the same strange ailment on the same expedition. He then left to go and stay with Simon.

Thomas arrived and stayed with Merlin as he successfully managed to feed Arthur spoonfuls of the broth without soaking him too much. They had pulled Arthur up in the bed and propped him there with a bolster behind him for support. Merlin made sure to keep up a running narrative of what they were doing. Arthur cooperated by swallowing on command but showed no sign of opening his eyes. Merlin commented upon the fact that he did however seem to have better control of his head.

Thomas, a battle scared knight was emotional as he watched Merlin look after Arthur. It reminded him of his grandmother's care when he had been sick as a child. Feelings washed over him in waves and he envied Arthur, Merlin's love. Suddenly, he felt humbled by the intensity and selfishness of this love and was in awe of the man in front of him who had been physically assaulted by his friend but who was still man enough to stand by him in his time of need.

A subdued Thomas returned to Gielbert and was able to tell him of Arthur's taking some sustenance and Merlin's attitude.

Gielbert nodded, "Merlin's a true friend isn't he? I sometimes wonder if Arthur realises just how much…if only everyone were lucky enough to have one such friend! Nothing is too much for him as far as Arthur is concerned." Then he paused and smiled, "But I wouldn't want to be in Arthur's boots, if Gawaine ever gets wind of this mess! He'd kill him and then ask questions."

The two of them discussed the news of the guard. It was difficult to accept that an innocent man had died in circumstances so closely related to Arthur's. Gielbert wondered out loud, "Had there possibly been something in Arthur's mind which had prevented him from fatally injuring Merlin." He felt that Merlin's trust in Arthur's awakening and not attacking him again was maybe foolhardy but he had to accept Merlin's decision to be with him. Then again, he could not consider assigning someone to continually watch the two of them. They were adults and he would respect their right to privacy. Merlin knew Arthur and if he felt safe, then who was he to decide otherwise. He however, hoped that when Arthur came to, it would be when Merlin had company.

They made their way to their cottage sending a passing guard to ask Boris his captain to join them for an update. The man finally appeared, stating that the guard's condition was exactly the same as when Gielbert had last seen him. He was told to keep a check on him and notify one of the knights if there were any changes, one way or the other. He then returned to his men.

Aislin who had joined them during the conversation, muttered that it was better if the poor chap didn't make it as he would face the death sentence upon his return to Camelot.

"And would you have felt the same way if it were Arthur on trial for killing Merlin? Would you also be wishing for his demise?"

"Let's face it, Gielbert, as sad as it is, in our day and age Merlin is expendable in the eyes of the ruling class, his death would mean nothing more than the inconvenience of replacing him and having to deal with breaking in a new servant. That reflects the unfairness of life."

Thomas became annoyed and joined in, "If you had seen Merlin with Arthur today, you wouldn't be so flippant talking like that. Merlin with his courage and commitment to Arthur, could rival some of our brother knights." Feeling that he was maybe being a bit judgemental, he added, "Present company excluded, that is."

Aislin continued, "Don't take me wrong, I never said that I felt that way just that in the eyes of many that is how they see servants. My father was more upset loosing his favourite destrier than he was his manservant who succumbed to a fever after twenty-two years of service. He isn't a bad man, it is just his upbringing in today's society. It is just…"

"…and what happened to make you such a champion of servants?" interrupted Gielbert slightly worried that the conversation might get out of hand.

Aislin replied sheepishly, "My mother! She gave me a right royal bashing for cheeking a staff member when I was home for my squires' holidays one summer. She insinuated that Camelot was undoing all her hard work of raising a son to respect all people. She also questioned that I was knight material. I towed the line quickly enough as I was worried that she'd tell my father and as she has him wrapped around her little finger, persuade him to refuse to permit me to return to Camelot."

Gielbert who had met the Duchess of Were on many occasions, patted Aislin on the back saying, "…and I think, a smart move on your part!"

Thomas dug Aislin in the ribs saying, "Ooh, a Momma's boy!"

Aislin laughed saying, "…and at sixty, she still rules the roost. Certainly, all our staff work hard, live well and are respected."

The tension passed as their supper arrived and they sat down. Gielbert however, mulled these things in his mind.

-0-0-

Merlin had spent the afternoon, dozing in the chair with his feet on the window sill like Rook. Arthur had remained quiet and Merlin was tuned into him so completely that even if he had been asleep, he would have woken if Arthur had taken a breath out of sequence or had moved a muscle.

His mind was racing again, trying to get on a wavelength with Gaius and pick up something which he might have seen or heard which would benefit Arthur. Merlin was worried about the return to Camelot. He would have preferred that Arthur was conscious of what was happening. If he was talking, he would be easier to manage as Merlin wasn't sure that he should be moved before that but then on second thought, the idea of trying to convince Arthur that he must travel as an invalid, in a horse-drawn conveyance might prove equally difficult.

Unbeknownst to Merlin, Arthur's mind was already receiving thought impulses and starting to make the long journey to consciousness. If Merlin had been watching him, he would have noticed more rapid eyelid movements. Arthur's mind was fighting his returning to the present, as it knew that he was guilty of something horrendous.

Flashes of thoughts were bombarding his mind but they were confusing. He had been yelling like a madman. He had been furious because of the actions of others. No one was making any sense; they were depriving him of the one constant in his life. They were telling him that he wasn't there; hiding him from him; refusing to let him see him. It hurt his mind. Suddenly, he decided to place the blame on the one person who was not present. He'd show him, he'd make him understand the pain in his head, he'd make him hurt and…then he was there, running towards him…and Arthur…

-0-0-

Merlin decided that it was time for Arthur's medication and then he would see about supper and maybe some more broth. "Come on, Arthur, this will make you better and soon we'll be seeing Gaius again. I bet you're waiting to get back to our chambers. The luxury of being home, and Spenser and Gavin will be there and Romney."

Arthur was so close, he willed his mind to say, 'Merlin…' but nothing happened. He tried again, his tongue wouldn't work and the word continued to float around his mind, fighting to exit but unable to. His told his hand to grasp at Merlin's, the action formulated but the door would not open to tell his muscles to react. 'Merlin, it's me, Arthur, I need you to help me out of this mess…'

"Come on, Arthur, I know you're in there, I can feel you trying, right here." He took Arthur's hand and kissed it, then held it to his chest. "I forgive you for what you did. It wasn't you, I know that. Remember the day that you told me that if you ever said anything to really hurt me, it was not you speaking…" He wrapped his arms around him, holding him, running his hand through his hair and down to the nape of his neck, finally saying, "Arthur, if ever I have a fight with you, just grab me to hold me like this and I will remember everything that is good with the world, and forgive you for whatever you did to start the fight. Honestly!"

Merlin leant over and kissed him. He could feel lips and then a finger over his bottom lip and Arthur obediently opened his mouth and…Merlin gave him three more drops…

…and Arthur's climb to the surface was stopped and he slipped back into oblivion.

-0-0-

Sitting eating supper by himself, just glancing in Arthur's direction now and again, Merlin was wracking his brains. There was something Gaius had once said about the medication that he used to make people relax prior to working on them. Something…but Merlin couldn't find the words; they were floating away, there on the tip of his tongue but stayed there!

He fed Arthur a little more of his broth watching carefully that he swallowed. He chattered to him continually but refrained from mentioning the guard's death. No need for him to worry about that. He told him that he had seen Mulgan and Gidun and that Evan was doing a wonderful job keeping them exercised. He thought of the sick man and picked up the vial of precious medicine, he held it to the candle and saw that there was only a third remaining.

Calculating that it would take five plus days to get back to Camelot with the wagon, he decided he had better reduce the number of drops he administered. Arthur was not getting any sicker so he decided that at night he would only give him one drop as he was with him the whole time but during the day he would increase that to two drops as sometimes he was with others.

And so, once he had seen to Arthur's needs, he said, "Arthur, I am only giving you a little medication tonight. I'll be right beside you so if you need more, I'm here." It was quite cool, so he added a couple of logs to the fire and threw an extra cover on the bed and slipped in beside Arthur who was nice and warm.

Merlin lay on his side facing him, watching the firelight play across his features and intermittently highlight his blond hair.

He must have fallen asleep and turned because when he awoke, he was on his tummy with his arm across Arthur as if shielding him from any imagined harm. He lay there comfortably and opened his eyes, it was not yet dawn and the fire was just smouldering so he knew he'd been asleep for hours. He smiled, still not fully awake. Arthur must have awakened him. He waited for him to make a suggestive comment then decided to play dead, as it was fun seeing what Arthur would get up to, to finally make him respond.

In that world of half sleep, Merlin knew that Arthur was touching him. He could feel his body next to him and his fingers in his hair and then his knuckles tickling him as they brushing down his spine. They tickled. Any minute, he'd have to move and acknowledge that he was awake.

Suddenly reality struck him…Arthur! He did a half turn towards him, pulling his arm off him and opening his eyes looked into Arthur's.

A raspy voice croaked, "Merlin, I've been waiting…"

All the anxiety and worry which Merlin had experienced over the last four days came to the surface and like a real girl, he buried his head in Arthur's chest sobbing.

"Don't cry! It's alright, I have you and I'll never let you go, Merlin, I love you! Shush, you're safe with me…"

Finally, Merlin gained control of himself. He had waited so long for this moment and it was here. Arthur was speaking and knew him and hadn't slapped him or been mean to him. He lifted his head, smiled, stretched so that their lips made contact and then curled his head back under Arthur's chin and whispered, "Arthur, you came back…" and at that moment remembered Gaius saying that there was a window of opportunity to slowly begin withdrawing the drugs, allowing the person to face his problems. He had accidentally found it when he had reduced the amount of medication.

"Is there anything you need, right now?" Merlin asked.

"Just you…" whispered the prince.

"Something to look forward to…" said Merlin as he fell into the first untroubled sleep that he had had since he had tried to cross the river with Gidun.

-0-0-

Arthur didn't sleep, he held onto Merlin for the rest of the night. He marvelled that finally his head was clear enough to speak and he felt happy. His mind was still a little foggy as to what had happening. He remembered, feeling confused and so sad, yelling and raving mad, lashing out and then everything just sort off became misty but he couldn't think any more as it was too exhausting.

As dawn, came he looked around. This was certainly a very well appointed chamber for a country inn. Merlin and he would have to think of visiting again in the future.

As the birds' songs became more insistent, Merlin began to stir.

Arthur was thrilled that he was awake and able to watch the rebirth of his favourite person. No awkwardness, Merlin's body slowly began to tense as he gently flexed his muscles, and stretched them. He turned towards Arthur, relaxing slightly as he became conscious of their entwined arms and legs. His nose twitched and he raised his hand to rub it so Arthur blew gently in his hair, Merlin was ready to snuggle in again but a little thought must have sparked his brain. He turned his head slightly, opening his eyes, he grinned and said, "I knew it was you, My Love, nobody holds me as you do…"

Merlin was awake and it hadn't been a dream. Arthur was next to him wide awake as well, smiling at him, reinforcing all the promises which they had made over the years. Did he remember the episode on the beach? Did it matter anymore? Merlin was forgiving by nature and he easily set it aside, hoping and praying that Arthur was not conscious of those actions and would never feel the need to apologise for them. He loved him…that was enough.

-0-0-

Hunger finally forced Merlin from the bed. He knew that soon the lad would be here and he wanted to order something light for Arthur and also send him to notify Sir Gielbert that he wished to see him. He threw some logs on the fire and when Arthur said, "They caught fast?"

He dropped his head and murmured, smiling to himself, something about the embers still being very warm and that he had just been lucky.

He refused to let Arthur get up as he preferred to have someone there to help him as he was sure that Arthur was going to have trouble standing, let along moving. He helped him pull himself up in the bed as he wanted Gielbert to see the full extent of his recovery. He had decided that regardless of his ability to move, he would still be taking advantage of the wagon, even if he allowed him to ride Mulgan a little each day.

He considered giving Arthur one more drop of the remedy but then decided that he should be able to see changes in his demeanour which would call for it. He said, "Arthur, you'll tell me if you feel a little discombobulated, won't you?"

"Merlin, princes don't get discombobulated that's for the likes of servants like you!"

Merlin grinned but noticed Arthur hesitating as if something was trying to come to the fore of his mind but wouldn't. "Well, if you should feel, confused, disconcerted, upset or…frustrated, please, don't keep it a secret, share it and I will take care of it."

"I was wondering, Merlin how long it was going to be before you also had those feelings," Arthur added with a grin.

"Sire, I can assure you that that was the last thing in my mind!"

"Shame!" said Arthur as breakfast was announced.

-0-0-

There was a tap on the door and Gielbert walked in, he glanced at Arthur upright in the bed and then went over to Merlin who was sitting at the table eating. "Is he alright?"

"I most certainly am!" said a husky voice and Merlin smiled as Gielbert turned to face a grinning Arthur. "So, Sir Knight, is it customary to greet the serving staff before the crown prince? Get over here, I missed you…" Arthur paused before adding with a smile in Merlin's direction, "…but not as much as I missed my Merlin…!"

Merlin handed him a chair and he placed it beside the bed. He then noticed the tray on Arthur's legs and the remains of scrambled eggs and a mushy looking porridge.

"Well, Sire, you certainly look the best that I have seen you in a few days. How do you feel?"

"I'm dying to get my legs on the floor and get out of this damned bed. I remember the mornings when I would quite happily have stayed in bed all day but not any longer." His voice was getting coarse again and he motioned Merlin for some water.

"Anyway, tell me what have I missed? Did the river go down? Are all the Camelot members hale and hearty? I'd like to see Simon, Thomas, Rook and Aislin later this morning and I have no intention of entertaining them in bed so you have to help 'your lord and master' over there." He pointed at a grinning Merlin, "So that I can be dressed and sitting in the chair. I can't very well, have an audience with my knights, buck-naked can I?"

Gielbert was thrilled to see the old Arthur back and winked at Merlin. Arthur saw it and said, "Sir Knight, I will have you know that Merlin is mine and you will keep your wandering eyes to yourself. Shame on you! What would Donnatienne think?"

Merlin laughed and said, "That I'm probably a bit of alright too?"

"If my arms didn't feel so tired, this mug would have made contact with your head by now…"

Laughing, Merlin came and removed the tray. "Do you want to try to get your legs out of bed, Arthur? Then I can get you washed and Gielbert can help me with your clothes and you can sit in the chair for a little while."

Arthur perked up at that suggestion and allowed Gielbert and Merlin to assist him in sitting on the side of the bed. Merlin said that he could manage the washing alone and that Gielbert could find the lad to send a message requesting the others to come. Gielbert caught Merlin's eye and mouthed, "Simon?"

Merlin shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyebrows…

Gielbert left and took his time figuring that Arthur would like some privacy; he went downstairs and asked if he could have more goblets and maybe something sweet as the prince was feeling well enough to see his knights. When he returned Arthur was sitting on the side of the bed half dressed. He still needed a shave but Merlin said that that could wait as he thought that he looked rather attractive with facial hair.

Arthur balanced himself upright with his hands on Gielbert's shoulders. With Gielbert's arms were around his waist, Merlin managed to get him into the rest of his clothes. They then walked him slowly to the table and Merlin smiled as Arthur sank exhausted into the chair and he had only just been insisting that he could ride all the way home and in no way, was he going to be conveyed like a girl. Merlin promised that he would ride into Camelot on Mulgan but that he had to do what he decided.

"Well then, I'll walk into the courtyard, if I can't ride!"

"Fair enough, the wagon can take you up the last hill and then you can get out and hobble stiffly into the courtyard then be carried up the stairs as you will be too tired to walk."

Suddenly Arthur laughed, then said seriously, "Merlin, without you, I'd be a real mess…"

"Exactly my thoughts, Arthur My Love!" said Merlin.

Soon a voice said, "May we come in?" and the other three walked in, smiling to see Arthur looking so well and out of bed to boot.

Arthur nodded at them and then his face fell as he turned to Merlin and said, "…and where's Simon?"


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7 : HOMEWARD BOUND**

Arthur nodded at them and then his face fell as he turned to Merlin and repeated, "Where's Simon?"

There was dead silence. No one offered any explanations. Gielbert felt that he should head off the inevitable. The other three knew that Gielbert as senior knight should take the responsible but it was Merlin who spoke up.

"Simon?"

"Yes, Merlin…Simon! Don't try to be smart. You know full well to whom I am referring…"

"Well, he twisted his ankle and can only hobble around...then yesterday, he hurt his knee because he was compensating for the pain in his ankle and he is now confined to bed in one of the elder's houses. But he has been seen by me and I assure you, with time, he will be _all_ new again." Merlin smiled, he enjoyed being a comedian and was sure that he could be, as he often amused himself. He hoped that simplifying the truth would satisfy Arthur. They did not need to be interrogated right now.

Arthur smiled, "Thank you, Dr. Merlin not only for your diagnostic but also prognostic expertise. At least, he is better in a home than in a shelter on the beach" Arthur subsequently, remembered that they had tents on the beach. There was something else about the beach which was not at all pleasant but he couldn't for the life of himself remember.

"So, Merlin tells me that we are going to be returning to Camelot shortly. I presume, you are in the know Gielbert and it isn't just the ravings of a homesick soul?"

Gielbert smiled at Merlin and told Arthur what had been decided to date and that the wagon would also be used to transport Simon and a guard who had picked up something and wasn't too well. The farmer wishes to drive the wagon, so he will be coming too and his young son who can give Evan a hand with the extra horses."

"How did we manage to get extra horses?"

Thinking on his feet, Merlin said, "Well, yours, Simon's and the guard's…" Arthur could find out later about the guard buried on the hill. Seemingly satisfied, Arthur nodded.

Aislin mentioned that the river was no longer considered dangerous and that the Roman bridge was still standing and hopefully by next week, the water would have fallen sufficiently for it to be in use. At the moment, they were using the boat-bridge or the ford further downstream.

Thomas said that everyone's spirits were high and that the townspeople were almost back to their normal pastimes. "They are thankful for our help and we have been invited to eat with various families on different occasions."

"Some meals have been better than others but it was nice having a change," said Rook.

Gielbert mentioned that the knights had been encouraged to move to an empty cottage in the town and that was a relief from being on the beach. Merlin noticed that look in Arthur's eyes as if he had lost something and was mentally trying to retrieve it. "The guards are still camping near the river and their site is dry and protected. If you want to talk with Boris, it can be arranged."

"No, I don't think that will be necessary, I'll let you look after that. When would be the soonest we could leave?"

Gielbert glanced at Merlin and Arthur picked up on it. "No need, to check with the mother hen over there. Any time you are ready, I will be too."

There was a tap at the door and food was brought in. Arthur was beginning to look tired and Merlin decided that following lunch, he was going to bed for a well-earned nap. Two hours in a chair was enough for the first day. The others teased him about his baby food but he did justice to it and they talked about general things, staying clear of Simon and things which might have happened on the beach.

Soon, the knights stood up to leave and Merlin asked Gielbert to stay for a few minutes, The others left pleased to have seen Arthur looking so much better. Merlin and Gielbert reversed the morning's procedures and soon Arthur was back on the bed. Merlin threw a cover over him. While Arthur insisted that he only intended to close his eyes for a few moments; he was soon snoring gently.

Merlin and Gielbert sat at the table by the window, talking quietly, Merlin picking at remaining crumbles of cheese. He filled up Gielbert's goblet again and said quietly. "At some time, I will have to tell him what happened. Too many people know about it. Some of the guards saw my face and there was some nodding going on, even then. Hopefully, I can do it at home. He won't be able to understand but then again, I'm not too sure that I do either."

-0-0-

Arthur was allowed up to sit on the side of the bed and eat his supper from a small table which Merlin had pulled over. He was wrapped in a blanket and said that he was quite warm enough. He stayed awake until Merlin had the fire organised for the night and then they both turned in early. Arthur was doing better as he had been able to swing his legs back into the bed with minimal help from Merlin. Every move was an effort but he knew that it would improve with time.

They lay there side by side, Arthur resting his head on Merlin's outstretched arm, Merlin's hand curled onto Arthur's chest.

"What was wrong with me, Merlin, that I ended up in bed? Did I fall and hit my head? There are some things I can't remember. I can feel that the others are pussy-footing around me, not Gielbert but Aislin and Thomas. Do you remember once, your promising that we would always tell each other the truth regardless of what it might be?"

"Yes, and I usually do…!" Arthur queried that with raised eyebrows so Merlin rephrased his answer, "Well, I almost always do! But this time, I am at a loss to explain it fully. You were confused and then you seemed to have a fever and then it took you four days to wake up properly." Merlin was satisfied with his retelling of the events.

"So nothing horrendous happened to me physically. Maybe I caught something from someone else and got sick. Merlin, I accept what you are saying now but one day, as more memories come back, I feel that I will have more questions. You'll have to tell me the whole truth then…I have a feeling that at the moment, you are protecting me out of the kindness of your heart, from something which happened."

"Arthur, when the king gave you to me to look after, I took it very seriously. If it were in my power to do so, I would never let anything happen to you."

Arthur blew in his ear saying, "My Knight in Shining Armour."

Giggling quietly, Merlin said, "Well, from one knight to another, is this night not made for loving?" He loved words and had realised the pun and didn't really care that Arthur probably wouldn't see it, as hopefully, the result would be the same.

He slipped his arm from behind Arthur's head and turned towards him…

There was rain overnight which woke Merlin. Rain for him was always an auspicious event; however, maybe this time post-event but auspicious none the less! He could hear the deep rumblings of thunder, comforting and satisfying. He smiled to himself, thinking, 'Just like Arthur…' and he drifted back to sleep.

-0-0-

Arthur was getting around better, he was more steady on his legs and managed to walk across the room with only Merlin's aid. He ate the food offered and even picked on a few things off Merlin's plate. "Alright, can I have a bath? I really feel that I need one."

"Are you up to it? Why not wait until tomorrow? We can walk more today and if you think you can manage a couple of shallow steps, we could go into the garden for a change. Getting in and out of the bath will be difficult but I guess, I could get Gielbert to help."

"If I wait for a couple of days, will it just be you and me?"

"Arthur Pendragon, I can see your brain ticking over. You, Sire, have ulterior motives."

Raising his eyebrows alluding to times gone by he said, "Ah, Merlin, I remember hot water, oils, sweetly smelling soaps, gentle hands and …"

Merlin shook his head, blushing slightly, "Memories shared!" was all he was willing to say. "Let me help you get dressed as I'm sure Gielbert will be dropping by to give you an update on our leaving here."

Actually, the plan was that two days hence, the Camelot contingent would leave Dunnsford for the trip home. The knights would ride escort to the wagon and its occupants and the guards would precede them to Camelot probably arriving a couple of days ahead of them. Arthur accepted it, determined to increase his exercising so that he could at least ride into Camelot.

"Merlin, have Evan bring Mulgan around as I'd like to try riding this afternoon."

Knowing that there was no use arguing that he might be pushing it, Merlin agreed. After lunch, Arthur walked slowly out to the stable yard, getting on Mulgan from the mounting block. He did not have the strength in his arms or his legs to mount from the ground. Once they had walked around the town, Merlin turned back.

"I'm not tired yet! I can go further."

"Arthur, you still have to ride all the way back and your thighs are shaking. Take your legs out of the stirrups and do some exercises with your ankles. Relax and enjoy the outing, we can take it slowly but I'd rather you don't overdo it the first day. With a daily short ride on Mulgan, by the time we're close to home, you should be able to ride into Camelot with no problem. There's absolutely no need to rush it. You're recuperating, let nature takes it course."

Arthur's legs were not very steady when he dismounted in the yard. Rook stepped forward and Arthur put his arm around his shoulder and walked between Merlin and him. "Whew! I never thought of riding being so tiring."

Rook left and as the door closed, Merlin said, "It's just that you are not back to your former self…yet."

"…in everything?" Arthur added, causing Merlin to smile.

"You have time for a rest. Take advantage of it, as you won't get much chance once we are home."

Arthur obediently sat on the edge of the bed and Merlin knelt to get his boots off. "Could you use your 'Gaius inspired' fingers on my legs? The muscles are really tight and aching and I also feel quite tired."

"I will but no fooling around!" Merlin warned.

"Merlin, I couldn't fool even if I wanted to, I'm too exhausted." With those words, Arthur yawned and when Merlin came back with the vial of Gauis's rosemary and lavender compound, Arthur was asleep.

Merlin smiled and said quietly, "No rest for the wicked!" He poured some oil in his hands to warm it. He could feel the muscle knots and blamed himself for allowing Arthur to ride further than he should have the first day.

It was decided at supper that the Camelot contingent would be able to leave the day after tomorrow, probably before noon. Gielbert would notify Boris so that the guards would be ready to leave. Merlin figured that they would be camping out most nights as Arthur would be unable to climb narrow twisting stairs that were in nearly all the inns. He had never expected, that this little excursion to help a flooded town would have caused so much heartache.

After the others had left and they were in bed, Arthur asked Merlin to tell him the truth about Simon. "You have to have been lying as Simon even with a bad knee and ankle would have hobbled down to see me. Wouldn't he?"

Merlin didn't want to have memories returning when they had a long journey ahead of him but he agreed to tell Arthur what had happened as long as he would lie still and listen. "No interrupting me until I have finished!" He then gave a brief summary of Simon trying to save Gidun and being carried down the river. He was then found but he had no feelings below his waist.

Arthur was shocked, he looked at Merlin in dismay and couldn't help but whisper, "Oh God, he may never walk again…"

Merlin touched his lips and said with a smile, "Hush! He's really improved. He can't stand yet but he has tingling in his thighs and also in his feet and he can just about move his ankles. He will be in the wagon but he is a real invalid. If there ever was a time that I wanted Gaius it was then and following that you became ill and now we have a sick guard."

-0-0-

In a flash, the appointed day and time arrived. Arthur accepted the fact that he would be travelling in the wagon. His body was still causing problems. The town elders turned up to make their farewells and Arthur made sure that the family who had taken in Simon were compensated as well as the household where he had been staying.

The wagon arrived with an unconscious guard and a very happy Simon. Arthur went over to talk to him. Merlin left them alone as there would be plenty of time to be with the two of them

The guards arrived and acknowledged the prince and then Boris led them out of the town. Aislin accompanying them as he was carrying letters from Arthur for his father and also one from Merlin for Gaius stating the conditions of the three invalids. Arthur with Merlin's help got onto the seat beside the farmer and slowly they went down to the ford and made their way across the River Dunn. As they reached the road, Merlin turned back and took one last look at the town.

The first day's travel was great, everyone in good form, mainly because of the change of scenery and pace. Arthur found travelling on the bench with the driver was rather uncomfortable and after the lunch break opted to sit on bedrolls next to Simon.

When they stopped for the night, Arthur got slowly out of the wagon and went to sit on a log near the camp fire. Gielbert stayed with him as Merlin had to go and look after Simon's needs.

Poor Simon blushed, being looked after like a baby by a woman his mother's age was bad enough but having Merlin take care of him didn't feel right. Merlin however had looked after many sick people and soon Simon relaxed telling Arthur the next day that it was just as if Gaius had been there.

Thomas slept in the wagon overnight with Simon but Gielbert and Rook stayed with Arthur and settled around the fire. Merlin's bedroll was really close to Arthur's, as they all knew that Arthur had been sick. The farmer, his son and Evan settled a little further away closer to the horses.

-0-0-

Mulgan was having a difficult time as he was used to being in the front and at the moment he was behind the wagon with Evan. Gidun was also causing trouble as he wanted to be back with him. Finally, Gielbert rode Mulgan in front with Rook then Thomas behind them. Merlin when the road was wide enough, stayed next to the wagon. Arthur once again was sitting on the seat and doing better as each day passed. The inns came and went but they were only used as locations to eat. One larger one, however, had an available room at the back on the main floor and Gielbert opted to stop early and have a night inside.

Arthur and Merlin got the larger downstairs room with Arthur insisting that Simon join them, surprising Merlin that Arthur in his condition, had thought of someone else. Poor Simon cried when he found out that he was going to be taken out of the wagon by the knights and laid on a cot, sharing Merlin and Arthur's room. Merlin hugged him and told him that he was still very important to both Arthur and him.

"It's awful, I feel as if I'm of little use and just a burden to everyone." He became silent then added quietly, "I'm trying to get better, Merlin, I really am!"

"I know that you are and so does Arthur. He's been very sick too and he has a long way to go before he'll be the threat that he used to be." Simon looked at him and laughed, he really felt comfortable with Merlin. "I'll get Thomas to bring us ale and we'll sit in here and have a party"

When supper was served, Merlin and Arthur went into the main room and Thomas stayed with Simon. Finally, Arthur was exhausted, he was unable to stay awake any longer so he retired. Merlin went along to help him and once he was in bed, looked after Simon who whispered excitedly, "Merlin, I can feel your hands on my hips; it's happening isn't it?"

Merlin smiled saying, "Slowly but surely, your body seems to be waking up..."

"Don't tell the others yet, let's just keep it a secret…"

The three of them slept well and after breakfast, the group were ready to leave. Gielbert announced that they were halfway through their journey. In three days, they would see Camelot.

-0-0-

At every break, Arthur and Merlin left the group to walk ahead of them along the road. The gentle exercise was good for Arthur and when he tired, they would sit and wait for the others to catch up. He would then ride on the wagon, up with the farmer. Arthur at first had trouble understanding what he was saying but slowly he got used to his dialect and they were able to carry on a conversation of sorts.

The days were perfect; the weather was holding. Apart from seeing game, which Arthur couldn't chase, nothing unforeseen happened.

Merlin had been administering drops of the remedy mixture to the guard but he wasn't responding. For some reason, Arthur decided that his brain had been fried. Merlin just smiled and shook his head, however if it made Arthur happy to think that then he wasn't going to argue. Better to travel with a happy prince than one who was annoyed.

Merlin wondered if the continual gentle swaying of the wagon, including the occasional bumps and lurches, were having an effect on Simon. He was certainly improving and the areas of his body which had feelings were increasing. He was so happy, one morning, to tell Merlin confidentially that he could feel his bum. Merlin started laughing and then Simon joined in and Arthur always wanting to be in the know came over to see what all the noise was about.

Merlin said, "Go ahead, tell him…"

Simon with a twinkle in his eye whispered, "Arthur, I can feel my bum…"

Not to be outdone, that night when they managed to find a derelict barn to sleep in, Arthur, once the meal was over, announced to all and sundry that he wanted to make a toast and announced, "Brother knights, raise your goblets in a toast to Simon's bum!"

Merlin grinned and raised his glass to Simon who was propped against the wall. Simon blushed deep red and Arthur roared.

Gielbert came over and gave the young knight a hug and congratulated him, "You'll be in the tournament later this summer, I can see it now." Rook and Thomas raised their glasses, thrilled for their brother knight.

Suddenly the weather changed, it was cold and windy and overnight there was a bad lightening and thunder storm. Merlin checked on Simon and the guard that they weren't being dripped on as the thatch on the barn was not the best. He returned to his bedroll and Arthur said, "This is all your fault as you love rain!"

"Aww, diddums!" Merlin said as he managed to pull his bedroll just a little closer so that he was able to slip his hand under Arthur's blanket.

"Merlin, we're not alone…"

"As you wish, Sire," and Merlin rolled back away from him.

There was an annoyed whisper, "Wait till I get you home, Merlin!"

There was a mumbled, "Yes, please, Sire!" and the barn was once again silent except for the pitter-patter of rain on the thatch.

-0-0-

The following day was wet and rainy, Merlin made sure that Simon and the guard, whose name he didn't even know were covered with some heavy canvas which one of the townsfolk had given them for this purpose. They were warm and dry and Merlin managed to convince Arthur to also get into the wagon.

They kept on the road but there was no joy in the ride, except for Arthur and Simon who were talking away. Merlin felt quite safe as Simon knew nothing about the unfortunate incidence on the beach. He rode next to Gielbert who remarked that it was good for Simon to have company as the guard wasn't the greatest conversationalist! Merlin grinned back at him.

Mid-afternoon, they came to a village of Lower Grange; it had taken them more that twice the time to get there on this slow return journey. Arthur had improved considerable with all the walking and assured Merlin that he would be able to climb a flight of stairs with his help. Arthur decided to call it a day.

Gielbert arranged the accommodation and food. They were in luck two communal rooms were available and they took them both. Simon would bunk with Merlin and Arthur, the other three and the 'silent one' as Arthur was referring to him, were happy to be on cots not on the ground. Evan, the farmer and his son, as usual opted to stay with the horses in the inn's stables.

A delighted Simon was carried into the ale room by Rook, who promised to carry him upstairs after they had eaten, promising to bring him down the following morning. He propped him on a chair with arms and wedged him close to the table. "Don't worry, if you slip off Arthur can crawl under the table to get you!" The guard was carried up on a litter which was in the wagon; Merlin checked on him and gave him the drops before going downstairs to join the others.

The six of them had a lovely time. Simon who had been deprived of the fun of being included in all things, was happy and really enjoying himself.

Merlin sat next to him across from Arthur and he had made his presence know by slipping off his boot and finding Arthur's leg and was teasing him by running his foot up and down it. Arthur winked at him.

Simon shuffled himself in the chair and Merlin asked him if he was alright and Simon nodded.

Arthur commented with a sly grin, "Now, that you have feeling in your bum, Sir Knight, is there any other region which is…shall we say, responding."

"Arthur, stop it, you're embarrassing him."

Simon looked at Merlin and smiled, he had stood up for him again but he was quite at ease with Arthur and came back with, "Well, Sire, I promise to tell you first… if there is…!"

Gielbert almost choked on his ale, "Well, done young man! Arthur you deserved that!"

All around the tables, there were smiles and Arthur grinned, laughing with them…


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8 : A WELCOMED FACE**

Following breakfast, Rook placed Simon carefully in the wagon, making sure that he was comfortable. Arthur was on the driver's seat and the little group made its way down the road. The best scenario was that they would arrive in Camelot late the following afternoon but depending on the weather and conditions of the road, it might not be until the following morning.

At the first mid-morning break, Arthur and Merlin as usual walked ahead. They came to a gorge with big boulders and Arthur sat on one and said, "I want to ride Mulgan after the lunch break. I'm sure, I can do it for an hour. I'm in better shape with all this walking and then if I feel alright, maybe tomorrow as well."

"Well, you can give it a try. You are certainly walking fine and had very little trouble with the stairs last night."

"Or afterwards," said Arthur making Merlin smile. "Let's make our way through the gorge and stop on the far side and wait for them."

It was dark and cool, Arthur slowed and Merlin turned to check that he was alright, only to be pulled into his arms. "I hate not being able to kiss you whenever, I want." With that, Arthur pushed him against the wall of the gorge.

The next thing they were conscious of, was a whistle and a voice which they both immediately recognised, saying, "Surely, his lips are amply polished by now, Sire?"

Merlin pulled away from Arthur grinning, "What are you doing here? Thought the next time that we'd meet would be at the tournament."

"I'm on family business. Nothing pressing, so, I don't mind backtracking a day with you." He gave Merlin a big hug and slapped Arthur on the back. "So, what have you been up to? Have you finally lost those two old nags of yours and are in the market for proper horses?"

Arthur laughed, "Thanks all the same but our horses are fine. Actually, we're waiting for the rest of the party to catch up."

"Walking is good for you, didn't you know that?" Merlin added

"Well it might be fine for you but for me, nothing like a good horse between my legs, a level road ahead of me with a final destination which sells liquor."

"Gawaine, you old scoundrel, you'll never change," Arthur said grinning. "I'm just getting over a bout of something and walking will enable me to finally get back on Mulgan."

"… and the canoodling is that also part of the therapy?"

"Always," said Merlin winking at Arthur, "and the best part of it, too!"

They were interrupted by Gielbert's arrival with the others. "Gawaine, you're a sight for sore eyes; what have you been up to?"

"Nothing, minding my p's and q's, trying to stay out of trouble and generally enjoying life…" The others came over, greeting him. Gawaine was a favourite with most of the knights, his independence, unrestrained spirit and general appreciation of life were envied by many.

The wagon drew up and Gawaine saw Simon.

"Well, travelling in the lap of luxury are you?" he said striding over to the wagon.

"Only because I was hurt but I'm getting better little by little."

"Whose your sleepy friend?"

Rook came up put his arm around Gawaine's shoulder and said, "Unbelievable to you but he isn't sleeping off a night at the pub, he's actually unconscious and has been for at least five days. Merlin is looking after him."

"But not as well as he's been looking after Arthur, right? Gawaine stated. The others laughed as Arthur punched Merlin in the arm as he blushed.

"Did you meet up with Aislin and the guards on your travels?"

"No but one of the locals where I stayed a couple of nights back, mentioned Camelot guards on the road. If we leave now, we've time to get back to the inn where I stayed last night. Buxom wenches, good ale and the beds aren't bad either."

Everyone laughed. Merlin thought it was nice seeing that Gawaine hadn't changed. Then a chill ran up his back as he realised that if Gawaine had been with them on the beach, things would have been very different. He knew that he would have attacked Arthur, probably making things worse.

Arthur put an arm around his shoulder, saying quietly "What's up, Love, someone walked over your grave?"

Merlin turned, looked at him and smiled, "No, I'm fine, just thinking."

"Well, stop it! It frightens me when you look like that." Merlin obediently gave him a big grin.

The group got organised again. Merlin rode with Gawaine behind the wagon and they were able to talk to both Simon and Arthur.

The inn was suitable and once everyone was settled. They met downstairs and the drinking started. The barmaids recognised Gawaine and everyone was taken care of. The meal was wholesome and they sat around joking and fooling. They had so much in common, it was like old times. Gawaine was brought up to date on the happenings at Dunnsford and he congratulated Simon for saving Gidun.

Simon laughed, "Well I think that maybe the shoe was on the other foot as he actually saved me and stayed with me until Merlin found us." Merlin looked at Arthur and saw that once again, he was miles away and guessed that he was still trying to put together his fragmented memories. "Anyway," continued Simon, "Merlin certainly owes me, big time!"

Merlin smiled. Arthur yawned and said that he'd had it for the evening and was going to turn in. Merlin insisted on going with him but Arthur said, "No, stay with the others you deserve to enjoy yourself."

"Well, at least let me walk you upstairs." Arthur nodded and they left.

Merlin helped him get ready for bed and then Arthur said, "Now, go back and join the others, you haven't seen Gawaine in some time and I honestly just intend to fall asleep. Go! Rook will wake me up anyway when he brings Simon back." He lay back on the bed and closed his eyes.

As soon as Merlin had left, he opened them. He kept getting flashes of the beach and something else but he couldn't exactly put his finger on it. He had felt Gielbert's uneasiness when Simon had been talking about the horse and he was now certain that something had happened which he had subsequently forgotten. What upset him more was that he felt, he couldn't ask Merlin about it, yet he didn't know why…

-0-0-

"What exactly happened to Arthur?" Gawaine asked when he had a chance to talk to Merlin privately.

"He was very confused and then tired. He went to sleep and didn't wake up properly. He seemed to be coming down with a fever which never materialised and then he slept for probably three days. I thought that I'd lost him but slowly, he began to come around and now he is his old charming self."

"That's what you say, but that's not what I see. Every now and again, it's as if he is trying to find the answer to something. Merlin, you're not telling me everything."

"I can't, it hurts."

"Is he being overly rough with you? Is that what it is? You can tell me."

"I can't!"

"…because you're afraid!"

Merlin dropped his eyes and said quietly, "Yes…"

"Afraid of him"

"No...of what you might do!"

Merlin needed to tell someone and as Gaius wasn't there, he decided that he was going to get no peace until he told Gawaine. They sat in the dark, outside the door of the inn, as Merlin told Gawaine exactly what had happened.

Gawaine's first reaction was, "I'll kill him!" He put his arm around Merlin and held him tight.

Merlin was visibly upset and he said, "I told you that I was afraid of telling you. Please, promise me that you will not touch him. He was obviously sick."

"No excuse!" was all Gawaine could say. "You never raise your hand to someone you love, no matter the reason…"

"But it could have been worse…"

"How?"

"The guard whom we have with us experienced the same symptoms and killed one of the other guards in an argument."

Gawaine knew deep down that if Arthur had killed Merlin, crown prince or no crown prince, king or no king, he would have hounded him for the rest of his life and finally out of love, love for Merlin, he would have killed him…

"Promise me, Gawaine, that you will never say anything. I think it might be necessary at one point for me to tell him, depending upon if any of the guards talk. I trust the knights completely and Simon knows nothing about it as he wasn't there...bu Arthur was sick even if we didn't realise it at the time, Gawaine, he was sick…"

Gawaine looked at Merlin for whom he would give his life if ever it were required and realised that Arthur was the most important person in his life and smiled softly saying, "Your secret is safe with me but if ever…"

Merlin gave the ghost of a smile and said, "Arthur would never intentionally hurt me, I know it with every fibre of my body."

A voice called from the doorway, "Rook is taking Simon upstairs so you should go up too, Merlin."

Merlin turned and looked again at Gawaine, "Promise?"

Gawaine stood beside him and said quietly, "Yes, Merlin, I promise!" Merlin smiled and left.

Gielbert walked outside and Gawaine said, "Thank you! I needed that time with him. It wasn't hard to pick up that something was upsetting Arthur. Also thanks for intervening when he hit him. Merlin told me that you had stopped it going any further."

"The funny thing was that as it was happening I thought of you. My mind said, 'Good thing, Gawaine isn't here!' and I grabbed for his arm. I knew you would have flattened him. It was frightening, it happened so suddenly, true Arthur had been upset for probably the previous forty-eight hours but he suddenly lost it and lashed out."

"Well, keep an eye on him for me. You're not turning in yet, are you? The night is young, the barmaids are pretty and the cellar is full of ale."

"Go on then, just one more," said Gielbert.

Merlin checked Arthur after Simon was settled. He leant forward and kissed him then climbed onto the adjacent cot.

-0-0-

Goodbyes were said after a leisurely breakfast. Gawaine had convinced Gielbert that if they were on horseback, they might have been able to reach Camelot by nightfall but the speed they were travelling with the wagon, would make it impossible. He recommended that they stay the night in Saxonbury and get to Camelot, mid-afternoon the following day. "Give my regards to Bettina at the inn will you?"

"You old reprobate! If ever you need anything get in touch. You have more than a few fans among the knights. Thanks for talking with Merlin; he needed to be able to clear his mind."

"Well, look after your travelling circus and if Merlin ever needs me, try your damnedest to find me!"

Gawaine then did the rounds telling Simon that he expected to joust against him at the Camelot Tournament. Merlin smiled, he knew that that was unlikely but was happy that Gawaine had said it showing that he expected Simon to make a full recovery.

"Well, Arthur, see you in July. Get any older and you will be an OAP!"

They all stood around as Gawaine rode off stopping to wave before he went around the corner. Arthur turned to Merlin and said under his breath, "One day, if I have any say, he'll be permanently at Camelot." He smiled and put his arm around Merlin's waist but not before he had brushed his backside making Merlin scoot forward and laugh, as he continued, "Then I will have to keep my wits about me as I will have competition…"

Merlin turned around and whispered, "Never! I'm yours till you no longer love me." There was a slight shift in Arthur's eyes and Merlin realised that once again he was aware that events had happened which he couldn't recall.

Gielbert called, "Alright, everyone mount up, we've got an easy day ahead of us but we have to reach the inn before it is full. First break will be lunch."

Slowly the group made their way in the direction of Camelot. Arthur had opted to ride and Mulgan seemed to sense that everything was not right. He behaved like a real gentleman but even so by lunch Arthur opted to return to the wagon with the driver. One and a half hours had been long enough.

Packing up the remainder of their food supplies, Merlin had checked on the guard. He was upset that the medication which seemed to work with Arthur had no effect on the chap. He was now cold and his colour was really bad. He knew it made no sense but he was so used to his being there that he would miss him.

Mid afternoon, there were two figures coming towards them on the road and Gidun called to their horses and the next thing Leon and Romney came cantering up. Leon looked worried as he expected Arthur to be leading but Merlin quickly said, "He's fine, just taking it easy on the wagon."

Leon rode directly to him saying officially, "Sire, the king allowed us to come out and meet you." Then he said more naturally, "God, Arthur, I'm glad to see you!"

The driver pulled the horse to a stop and Arthur got down stiffly and said, "Good to see the two of you, I presume Aislin arrived safely."

"Yes, and Gaius got your letter, Merlin, and said that he was going to check a few things. Simon, how are you? Gielbert, old man, your wife is really missing you." He nodded at Rook and Thomas. "Aislin wanted to return with us as did Spenser but the king said that he wasn't going to send all the knights to meet a group of people who were obviously quite capable of getting home by themselves." The others laughed, typical Uther.

Gielbert said, "How far are we from the inn at Saxonbury?"

"At the speed you're going, maybe another hour. Not the grandest of places but its dry and the landlord's wife makes an excellent breakfast."

Suddenly, Simon motioned Merlin over. He pointed at the guard and said, "I think, he's gone. He gasped a couple of times and then stopped." Merlin vaulted into the wagon and knelt beside the man. His eyes were wide and staring and there was no pulse. Merlin closed his eyelids in respect.

Merlin called Arthur over, "The guard's dead, what do you want to do? Take him back to Camelot or bury him here?"

Arthur looked around, the area was mostly wooded, quiet and peaceful. He looked over his shoulder, "Rook, arrange a burial detail."

Arthur went over and stood with Romney, Leon and Gielbert and the others removed the man's body taking it into the woods. The farmer's son carried a mattock to fashion a shallow grave. Arthur motioned Merlin to remain, "Stay with Simon until we get going again. He's all by himself…"

-0-0-

It seemed that in no time they had reached the inn. Gielbert arranged the accommodation while the others sat against a sun-warmed wall to enjoy their first ale of the day. Rook carried Simon and placed him next to Leon who spoke to him for a long time finally putting his arm around his shoulders. "Once you're on your feet again, I think a little time with your parents… allowing your mother to pamper you is what you will need." Simon brushed away a tear. He hadn't cried or complained about his situation and the others had been very impressed with him.

Now their numbers had changed to six knights and one manservant. Gielbert had arranged as there was one family room for Arthur to have that. The other knights would be in a dormitory set up.

Merlin asked Simon if he wanted to go with Arthur and him but he explained that he would like to stay with Romney. "You've been so kind and put up with me every night, I think you and Arthur deserve some privacy."

"Thanks, but I will still get you ready for bed and check on you before breakfast. If you need anything else, ask Leon. He's really kind and you can trust him."

Simon nodded his head and then Romney was asking him questions and Merlin went back to Arthur. He sat next to him with their legs touching and propped himself up against him. Arthur smiled, "Tonight?" he whispered.

"Tonight? Sire, what are you talking about? You will have to be more specific for your uneducated manservant?" Arthur leant over and gave him a little pinch. Merlin said, "Kind gentleman, please refrain from damaging the merchandise! My master will not be pleased with bruised goods."

Arthur straightened and with a gleam in his eyes whispered something in Merlin's ear. Merlin blushed and said, "My goodness, is that at all possible?" and tried to give Arthur a shocked look.

Arthur lost it. It started with a giggle and then escalated to a full out laugh and finally, he was bent over in pain, hanging onto his sides. The laughter was infectious and finally they were all smiling and laughing with their prince. Merlin was trying to remain straight faced which made it even harder for Arthur to gain control of himself.

Merlin finally said, "Good thing, this never happen in the dining room as I highly doubt that your father would be impressed with our juvenile behaviour."

And that set Arthur off again.

One of the barmaids came out to tell them that the landlord said that they could come in and eat anytime. Arthur was the last one to move and Merlin waited for him. He stood, glanced around and grabbed Merlin. He gave him a kiss and said, "That is a preview of tonight's performance."

"Will I need a ticket?"

"No," said Arthur, "Because you will be one of the co-stars."

"Oh good!" said Merlin and followed him inside patting him on his rear as they went in the door.

-0-0-

Supper was good and it wasn't a hurried meal. Once the table was cleared, they had another couple of drinks knowing that they could breakfast late and still get to Camelot just after lunch.

Finally, Simon's head was drooping and Rook carried him up the stairs, saying, "Come on, Sir Knight!"

Merlin followed them offering to get him ready for bed. He sat beside him afterwards and thanked him for being such a good patient. Simon smiled and said, "Merlin without you, I would have been in an awful mess. I'm sorry that the guard died…"

Merlin said, "Simon, I didn't expect him to survive as he wasn't reacting to the medicine that had helped Arthur. He was unconscious the whole time that he was with us. He just slipped away probably feeling no pain. Now, get a good night's sleep and by tomorrow night, you will be in Gaius's care. I sent him all your particulars so he has probably been planning what he intends to do with you."

"Have a nice night, Merlin!" Simon said with a grin and a wink.

Merlin decided that if he had ever had a little brother, he would have chosen someone just like Simon.

Arthur tapped on the door to see how they were getting on. Merlin smiled saying, "Simon is ready to go to sleep but I think he has something to tell you…"

"Arthur, I wanted you to be the first to know that another region is now responsive…" Simon smiled as Arthur took time to understand his cryptic message and then began to laugh.

Merlin nodded, "Our Simon is coming along very nicely, Arthur!"

"Both of you are crazy…" Arthur said laughing as he grabbed Merlin's arm and pulled him from the room, "Goodnight, Simon!"

"Goodnight, Sire!" He answered as he snuggled down into his cot.

-0-0-

Arthur barred the door and took Merlin's face in his hands. "You don't know how long I have wanted to do this…"

Finally, they broke apart and Merlin said, "It seems a shame to waste such a large bed, maybe I could join you or would you prefer that I slept on the trundle bed?"

"Merlin, are you _trying_ to be difficult?"

Merlin shook his head and leant forward to slip off Arthur's tunic, running his hands under it, up Arthur's chest in a very unprofessional manner for an experienced manservant.

Arthur went to undo his belt but Merlin insisted, "Allow me!"

"Merlin, I _can_ undress myself!"

"…and what would be the fun in that, Sir Pendragon?"

Arthur gave up arguing and let Merlin get on with his job. He then reciprocated but as Merlin was ticklish, he could hardly stand still and what could have been a very sensual performance was punctuated with giggles and Arthur's saying, "For heaven's sake, Merlin!" He made a mental note that next time, he would encourage Merlin to do a strip tease as at least then he didn't go into spasms of giggles.

Merlin woke two hours later and he knew that he was still grinning, He turned and snuggled into Arthur, going over in his mind what they had got up to. He would forever be thankful to Gaius, firstly for his compendium and very importantly for the flower remedy which had worked on Arthur.

His thoughts flashed back to the beach and he pushed it out of his mind and ran his lips along Arthur's arm which was wrapped around him. He had to get to sleep as he was sure that Arthur would be rousing him early…

_No one woke him. He got up wandering around the empty chamber and made his way to the door. Something was wrong. There was no clutter, no mess._

_He felt that he was playing catch up but to whom or what he had no idea. He went into the water closet and it was empty. No bath sheets, no soaps, no oils, just empty coppers and a stack of firewood._

_In a panic, he swung around. The bed had no sheets and the bed curtains were knotted. The window curtains were drawn and everything seemed…to be waiting…_

_Trying to still his racing heart, he opened the armoire door and it was empty. Where were all Arthur's belongings? He moved to the antechamber and pulled over a travelling chest it was also empty. The bed in the servant's room had been stripped. He stopped, telling himself that this couldn't be their chamber; he'd somehow gone the wrong way, opening a door into a guest chamber._

_The corridor was empty. He made himself walk downstairs; the place didn't look the same. He could see wooden signs but was unable to read the words. There was no one about. No pages, no squires and surprisingly no knights. He started to run and came to the training field. It was overgrown and vacant. In a panic, he ran to the stables, he gave a sign of relief there were there…however each one was swept clean and empty. He continued running and came to the kitchen gardens..._

_The vegetable plots were now grass and Gaius's herb garden was gone. He wandered across the grass. _

_Suddenly, a voice yelled, "Hey, you! What do you think you are doing? The castle is closed to the public. Get out of here or I'll call security."_

_He recognised the voice but not the man. He said, "Sorry, I think, I'm lost…" as he turned to face the man, he looked up at his home for the last ten years and saw that it was a ruin…with that he collapsed…_

His eyes blinked open and he saw the crude bed posts. What had he dreamed? He tried to remember but the only thing he could now recall was the voice belonging to the man and he realised that it had been Uther's, that and the ruin of their beautiful home.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9 : CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO…**

There was something satisfying breakfasting with friends. Arthur and Leon were discussing events in Camelot and Romney, Gielbert and Merlin were talking about the flood in Dunnsford. Then Rook arrived with Thomas and Simon.

Arthur was all for giving the latest medical news but Merlin had laid his hand on his knee and whispered, "Don't, you'll only embarrass him! He's worried enough about returning to Camelot as an invalid, he doesn't need teasing today."

Prior to leaving, Arthur made a little speech thanking the members of the expedition for their support and help. "One day, I hope to recall everything which has happened as I am sure there are parts of my memory which have not returned. If I did or said anything untoward, I apologise."

Merlin felt icy fingers crawl up his spine and tried not to glance at Gielbert.

Arthur continued, smiling at Merlin, "I know that you looked after me but I realise that you three," here he motioned to Gielbert, Rook and Thomas, "must have also played a part in it as he was also checking on Simon. Sorry to have been such a nuisance. Thank you, Gielbert, for taking over and running the show. I will be making a full report to the king and you will all receive credit for your work.

"Let's be off, as it's time to go home!"

Gielbert happened to be next to Merlin as they made their way across to where Evan and the farmer's son stood with the horses and said, "Are you alright?"

"Yes, but I'm not looking forward to the day when he remembers all his, what did he call it, 'untoward' behaviour?" He gave Gielbert a very small smile and Gielbert put his arm across his shoulders.

Arthur opted to ride in the wagon, planning to ride Mulgan after their lunch break so he would be on horseback when he entered Camelot. He couldn't be seen by his father and all the knights as a weakling. He realised that that was what Simon was going to face but again he wasn't the crown prince.

Simon and he chatted away. "So, you seem to be sitting upright and balancing very well. Have you tried to put any weight on your feet?"

"Merlin doesn't want me to try to stand up until I have seen Gaius, so Rook is ever obedient to Merlin's orders. I have put pressure on my feet whilst I am sitting but it still doesn't feel normal."

"Don't worry, Gaius will check you, from head to toe and then start you on a course of absolutely revolting medicine and in no time, you will be up walking around. But, you are on a formal sick leave and I expect you to take it easy until you are better."

"Yes, Sire!" said Simon with a cheeky grin and Arthur gave him a light punch on the arm.

Leon came over, "Arthur, should we send one of the knights to ride ahead announcing our impending arrival?"

"No, let's just arrive out of the blue and they will be scurrying around like ants, at the last minute."

"As if that's going to happen, I wouldn't be surprised if a couple of off-duty knights, come down to the meadow hoping to spot us first."

Leon returned to ride next to Gielbert and Arthur looked up to see Merlin looking at him. He smiled and Merlin rode over and said, "I never said thank you for…this morning…"

"The pleasure, My Love, was all mine."

"Arthur, the next time that we leave Camelot could it not be for an easy problem and we can enjoy the scenery, the company, the good food and the excellent accommodation."

"Don't worry, Merlin, after what I went through and I'm still not sure what is what or how much I remember, I deserve a couple of days off and think that a trip to Ealdor might fill the bill."

Merlin face lit up. "Mam would be over the moon. You are her favourite prince and I know that my being there as well, would be icing on the cake."

"You know, Merlin, why anyone would want a frozen cake is beyond me!"

"Arthur, if we were alone, I would give you a hug and a big kiss!"

"Go ahead!" added a voice from the back of the wagon, "I won't look or tell anyone!"

Arthur turned and looking at Merlin said, "Aren't you glad that all the last year's invested knights are not as bold and as forward as this one?"

Merlin laughed, "And just think, in ten years, we'll be dealing with his brother Guy. Heaven help Camelot!"

Soon they began to climb the hills and stopped for lunch once they had reached the top. The view was spectacular and Merlin had a lump in his throat, as in the far distance he could just make out the turrets of Camelot and its surrounding hills.

-0-0-

As they neared Camelot, Arthur mounted Mulgan and lead the group. Leon had been right, they had not yet reached the meadow when Spenser and Gavin came galloping up to them.

Spenser said, "We were going to wait out all night, camping in the meadow if necessary. Is everyone alright? Aislin said that you weren't well, but Arthur, you look fine to me. Gavin bribed Brynn to take his duty. Arthur, you're worth seven pints of ale, if you're interested."

Gavin thumped Spenser, "That was privileged information, I'll have you know!"

Merlin listened to them going on. He really couldn't have found better friends if he had hand-picked them himself. Each one brought with them different memories, some happy some sad but Merlin wouldn't have traded any of them. He smiled at Gavin who had decided to ride in the wagon with Simon and Rook who had held back so that Spenser could ride next to Gielbert. Once everyone was sorted out, the knights cantered slowly across the meadow.

The wagon with Simon and Gavin, along with Evan and the extra horses followed at a more sedate trot.

Arthur turned at him and smiled and it made Merlin tingle from the top of his head to his toes. Arthur and Leon led them through the lower town. But, Arthur alone led his returning expedition through the portcullis, across the courtyard, to the bottom of the steps. Merlin dismounted immediately and went to give him a steadying hand. He needed it but once both feet were on the ground, Merlin stood back and Arthur was able to climb the stairs under his own steam. Leon was slightly behind him with his arm out ready to grip his waist should he falter but that was seen only by those in the courtyard below and not the committee standing at the top of the stairs.

Uther walked forward and grasped his son's forearm and welcomed him back by saying, "You look as if you need a bath and a good night's sleep! This time tomorrow afternoon, I will see you and your knights in the council room. That will give you time to do a final report. A real botched mission, if you ask me! What about the young knight, what's his name, who was hurt?"

"Simon, Sire! He's being taken directly to Gaius."

"Good, good…" and with that the king turned away, ignoring Arthur and spoke to a council member. Arthur stood there and Leon leant over and said something and led him through the doors. Spenser following.

Merlin knew that as the crown prince, Arthur had wanted to lead the group into the courtyard but what a different reception he would have had if Gaius had been the one to meet him. Gaius would have been at the bottom of the steps, he would have shown concern, probably putting his arm around Arthur's shoulders and he certainly would have said, 'Thank God, you're back safely, I was worried.'

Not, so the king! Merlin thought, 'Did he even realise what a wonderful man Arthur was? Could he not, for once in his life have shown some affection? Well that might have been expecting too much, but at least some pleasure that Arthur had arrived home safe and sound. He must have known from Aislin's report that Arthur had been seriously ill but once again the king had acted true to form, cold, distant and disinterested in his son's welfare.

Merlin followed as Arthur said, "You go and check with Gaius, I want to know what he thinks about Simon's injuries. I'm going to have a lie down, then when you come back, you can arrange for a bath and finally some food."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather that I get the bath organised now and then see Gaius?"

"I think I'd prefer to wait till you come back. Spenser can stay with me. I'm really tired from riding so long, that last canter almost finished me."

Torn between arguing with Arthur and seeing Gaius, Merlin finally did as he was told and left. He ran all the way down the stairs and burst into the physician's chambers as Gaius was just covering Simon with a sheet.

"He's alright, don't panic! Rook got him here safely and I've just had a look at him. I agree with your letter, there are no broken bones but I think it is probably muscles that have been bruised and maybe torn."

Simon looked up and said, "I told Gaius how Gidun had stood over me so that I couldn't be further hurt."

Merlin smiled, "He's one horse in a million."

Interrupting the Gidun fan club, Gaius said, "Now, I'd like you to take it easy for the next couple of days, Simon. You'll be staying here until you're on your feet. Tomorrow, we'll figure out what limbs have feelings and which areas are still lacking. I'll map out all your bruising and see if that gives us any ideas. If as Merlin wrote, you had no feeling at all, your progress bodes well for a complete recovery. But, next time, don't try to save horses! Here, drink this down."

"Oh great, this is the absolutely revolting, vile liquid which Arthur was talking about."

Gaius laughed, "I'll have you know that many of my regulars swear by it. It's a veritable elixir!"

"…and the rest of the residents of Camelot run away when they see you coming, Gaius," quipped Merlin.

Simon closed his eyes; he was tired. Regardless of what people might think, he decided that travelling in a wagon was very tiring.

Merlin went and sat beside Gaius. He said quietly, "We lost two guards under different circumstances and Arthur came down with something very upsetting. I didn't mention it in the letter in case it got into the wrong hands. I was really worried at one point, as a fever seemed imminent but then it never materialised and he just slept for four days. He's fine now but still a little weak and achy. Today was the first time he had ridden for any length of time; he was with Simon on the wagon most of the time.

"Your flower remedy helped but he has no memory of anything that happened." Merlin glanced at Simon, "He doesn't know about it so I'll tell you another time, but then again, neither does Arthur!"

Gaius raised his eyebrows but didn't comment other than saying, "Will he need anything to sleep tonight?"

"Not sure, he is having a nap and then he wants a bath and then something to eat."

Gaius stood up and rifled through a group of bottles choosing two and pouring equal amounts into a little blue vial. "This won't hurt him, come to think of it, I think you could probably do with some yourself."

"What and leave his lordship unprotected all night, not likely!" Gaius saw him to the door and they stood in the corridor. "I'm so relieved to see you back. Don't worry unnecessarily about Arthur, I'll drop by to see him tomorrow unless you want me to see him tonight."

"No, I think tomorrow will work out fine. The king doesn't want to see him until mid-afternoon. That one's a cold fish, Gaius!"

Gaius put his arm around his shoulders, hushing him saying, "Remember what I told you about the castle walls, Merlin…"

"I remember, not only can they hear but they can also see! 'Night, Gaius!" Merlin said grinning.

"You have a relaxing bath and an early night as well, young man!"

"As if, that's going to happen with Arthur!"

"Go on with you…" and Merlin made his way back upstairs.

-0-0-

He crept into the room and Spenser was at the table and Arthur was fast asleep on the bed. "I don't think, he's going to be too happy when you try to wake him. He would only take off his boots and his tunic. He put his head down and went out like a light. He didn't want anything to drink."

"Thanks for keeping him company, Gaius checked over Simon and gave him something to relax him so he is also sleeping. Do you think anyone notified Boris that the guard had died?"

"I'm sure, that Gielbert would take care of that." Spenser got up to leave.

Merlin motioned him to stay, "His Royal Highness isn't going anywhere and I could do with a drink."

"Cider or ale? I'll waylay someone to get something for the prince and we can make a head start on it…" Spenser laughed as he closed the door after himself.

He returned in no time. "Rook's brother Erik and his friend Robert were wandering around so I sent them to the kitchens."

Merlin smiled, knowing full well that the pages didn't get much time to wander aimlessly and that they had probably been on an errand but that Spenser's request because it pertained to the prince would have received priority.

Soon there was a knock on the antechamber door and Spenser got up to answer it. Merlin walked over to the bed and looked at Arthur sleeping peacefully. He smiled, he felt so much more at ease knowing that Gaius was just downstairs.

"They've sent up a veritable feast…I won't be eating supper tonight."

"Did the king seem upset when he received Gielbert's letter and spoke to Aislin?"

"Don't think so, as we didn't hear anything about it until Aislin told us. If anything, the king seemed annoyed that his life had been disrupted. He certainly didn't welcome the knights' request to go to join you and it was only upon Sir Rupert's insistence that he allowed Leon and Romney to leave…and I'm pretty sure it was Sir Rupert who selected them."

"What did Aislin tell you?"

"Why?"

"Just wondered…" Merlin said as he helped himself to cider and cheese.

"Nothing much except that the flood was worse than expected, some of the horses had been swept away, Simon was hurt and Arthur had come down with something. I had a feeling he glossed over things but I could tell by the look on Leon's face, that he had been more forthright with him. I asked Aislin later on if that was all and he said that he felt sure that if Arthur wanted people to know anything else, it would be up to him, to tell us himself."

Merlin felt safe as Arthur certainly couldn't remember what had happened, so it might just possibly end there. But it didn't…

Spenser finally stood, slightly tiddly and promised to drop by tomorrow morning but not too early…

Merlin agreed that maybe early wouldn't seem such a good idea after all he'd drunk. "Anyway, you're probably going to be up half the night as your kidneys must be afloat…"

Spencer eyed him saying, "Thanks and on that vote of sympathy, I will leave you," and promptly walked into the door jamb. He righted himself and set a weaving course down the corridor.

Merlin laughed and locked the door after him. He checked all the other doors and decided to fill the coppers for tomorrow's bath and he set the fire to give him a head start. He cleared the remnants of the meal and covered the bread and left over cheese and berries.

Finally, he was ready to turn in and he stripped off and stood looking at Arthur before slipping into bed when a voice said, "Was that routine, just for me…if I had the energy, I'd give you a round of applause."

Merlin blushed, laughing he said, "…and for whom else would I shed my clothes with such readiness and grace…? Are you ready to get up, I have food and ale and cider if you are thirsty?"

"Well, yes I'm going to get undressed and maybe have a mouthful of water and then, I'm coming back to bed."

Merlin made to get up as well but Arthur put a hand on his arm and said, "You've done enough. I won't be long."

In no time, Arthur walked back to the bed and said, "Tomorrow, I'm bathing but if you don't mind lying with someone less than clean, it can wait until tomorrow."

"Not to worry," said Merlin, "I'm sure it's the same dirt and what's a couple of pounds of dirt between friends!"

"It was a bad expedition wasn't it, Merlin? Two guards dead and Simon seriously hurt,"…the pause seemed eternal and Merlin wondered if he had fallen asleep but he was still glaring at the bed canopy. "Merlin…if I asked you what happened would you tell me the truth?"

"Arthur, nothing awful happened and anyway I'm too tired to rehash the whole thing. We're all alright and that is the main thing."

"No, there is something. It feels as if someone has knocked on the door and by the time I reach it, they have left and I look out, no one's there and I don't have a clue what they wanted. Then, they come back again and the same thing happens…and I still don't have a clue what they wanted."

"Well," said Merlin, "I certainly know what I want!" He propped himself up on his elbow, leant over and kissed Arthur.

"Feeling frisky, are we?"

"Not really, just happy to be back in my own bed with a prince who might be willing to oblige me, if I begged him nicely?"

"Merlin, sometimes I cannot even visualise my life without you beside me!"

"I can!" came the retort, "No duties, no responsibilities, no worries just one idyllic life traipsing around the country with my favourite person…no, that's wrong, my favourite horse and his friend Mulgan and the clot who rides him."

Merlin laughed as Arthur grabbed him and proved that even living in the castle with duties and worries, there could be some idyllic opportunities.

Arthur had Merlin up just as dawn was breaking, he pleaded time out to light the fire under the coppers so that hot water would be available when he needed it. He then returned to bed.

-0-0-

Checkingthe water in the bath, while Arthur was getting out of bed, he was able to raise it a degree or two. Arthur walked into the water closet and looked at the amount of water, "Merlin, what are you messing at? There is hardly enough water for a baby to bathe in."

"Well, figuring out how dirty you are, I had a brilliant idea!"

Arthur groaned but decided to hear him out, "…and?"

"Well, it goes like this, if you were standing outside in a rain shower without any clothes on…"

"Merlin, I have no intention of standing outside naked!"

"Arthur, hear me out! It really makes sense… As I said, before I was rudely interrupted, if you were standing outside in a rain shower without any clothes on, you would get wet, then you could soap yourself all over and then the rain will wash away not only the soap but the dirt and you would be squeaky clean and standing in a puddle of dirty water." Merlin turned holding his outstretched hands at chest level, saying, "Ta da!"

Walking to the window, Arthur returned saying. "This has to be one of your stupidest ideas! Merlin, it's not even raining…"

"Not outside but it will be like rain… I'll pour warm water over you. You will get wet, I'll get to work with the soap and a cloth and then it will 'rain' again and you will be dirt and soap free and only need your feet and ankles washed. Oh, by the way, you will have to sit on the stool so that I can start with your hair."

Arthur wasn't convinced, it sounded stupid to him and he didn't know that he really trusted Merlin pouring water all over him. He'd probably end up damaged from out of control water pitchers. However, the idea had possibilities as his body would be clean and the dirty soapy water would be in the bath.

"You see, Arthur, if you sit in the bath, then the soapy scum covers you when you go to stand up. This way, you won't have to have another rinse to get rid of that. Then if you want, I can refill the bath and you can have a leisurely soak in clean water. Come on, give it a try. I'm sure you'll like it…if not I'll never again, mention any other brilliant ideas which I might have.…"

Arthur's mind was racing ahead, he could understand the concept but he could also see that it might prove interesting to at least try it once. "Alright, I agree to the 'rain shower' thing but only if you agree to let me do it to you after I'm done."

Merlin felt that his idea was wonderful so he happily agreed. He was filthy and this way, they would both be clean, well cleaner…hopefully.

Arthur reminded Merlin, of 'a lamb led to slaughter' as he stood in the bath with his shoulders tensed and a worried look on his face.

"Arthur, relax! What is the worst thing that can happen? We get water on the floor and you have to have a bath because we couldn't get all the dirt and soap off."

Suddenly, Arthur's mind figured that this shower thing might lead to other things in no way related to bathing. He obediently dropped to the stool and Merlin worked up a lather from the soap in his hands and gave Arthur's hair and neck a good wash. Arthur looked down and was fascinated to see rivulets of soap and dirt running down his chest. Merlin rinsed his head with clean water and Arthur shook his head soaking Merlin. He was beginning to enjoy this novel way of bathing.

Two normal people would have been able to complete this procedure in one hour but not Merlin and Arthur. True, the idea was brilliant and Arthur had acknowledged that standing to bathe had its merits but when he had decided to do the same to Merlin, the whole plan fell apart. Merlin was too ticklish and he kept moving away from Arthur and the soap bar.

"For heaven's, Merlin, stand still! I let you do it to me."

"But, Arthur, I wasn't tickling you, I was being professional in a dresser manner, sort of…"

"Well, I know nothing about dresser modes and this is fun. With that, he soaked Merlin and half of the floor with another pitcher of warm water, "Anyway, I'm almost finished and you will be able to get dry. Merlin, you've got the cutest…"

"Arthur, I'm not listening to you…I…Arthur, stop it! That's it, I am never going to let you give me a standing up bath again or for that matter, ever giving you one either.

That brought Arthur to his senses and after another two pitches of water, he wrapped Merlin in a bath sheet, helped him out of the bath and sat him on a stool so he could rinse his feet… "Now, I have a brilliant idea…"

Merlin just smiled, shook his head and raised his eyes to heaven…"


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10 : LET BYGONES BE BYGONES **

Merlin finally managed to get Arthur to Gaius before noon. Simon was looking very well, wrapped in a blanket sitting near the fire. He grinned when he saw both of them. "I feel like a seamstress's pincushion. Gaius has poked and prodded me so much."

"Well," said Gaius, "At least, I have a general idea of where the numbness seems to be." He showed Merlin a rough chart and pointed out various areas of Simon's thighs and legs which had up to now, no feeling." Merlin was interested and certainly intending to talk to Gaius later.

Simon confided to Arthur, "I have to do all sorts of leg exercises and have the muscles massaged. Gaius says that if I really am serious about them, soon, well maybe in a couple of months, I should be able to stand unaided. Rook was here this morning and he will be back later after he has been to the meeting with the king."

Gaius turned to Arthur saying, "So, I heard that you weren't too well while you were away? How are you feeling now?"

Arthur cheekily replied, "Clean, as Merlin has come up with a new way of bathing." Merlin could feel his cheeks getting warm.

Simon said, "Can I try it too?"

"Maybe, once you can stand by yourself." Arthur promised.

Gaius tried to get control of the conversation again and said, "Arthur, be serious, I'm talking about your fever and illness while you were away?

"Well, to tell the truth, I don't remember much about it. I was tired and couldn't think straight. That was all, wasn't it Merlin?"

Nodding after giving Gaius a quick look, Merlin said, "I think that about sums it up!"

"I'd still like to check you out, Arthur. Sit at the table." Gaius did a preliminary check which included listening to Arthur's chest, taking his pulse and checking his eyes with a candle. He ran his hands over Arthur's skull and asked him if he had had any headaches. He manipulated his neck and there seemed to be no trouble.

Simon interrupted by saying that the Master of the Horse did the same when he was purchasing a new mount, except that he also felt the legs for heat and had it trotted out and back.

"Thank you, Sir Knight, for that relevant piece of information," said Arthur. "Now go back to sleep…" and he cuffed him gently on the head.

"Hey, watch out, I'm a patient! That's unmitigated abuse, Arthur, I'm going to tell…" then he searched for someone to whom he could complain and triumphantly said, "I'm going to tell…Merlin!"

"Don't be silly," Arthur laughed, "He's right here with Gaius and he didn't try to stop me so, it must be an acceptable behaviour"

Gaius interrupted, "Alright, Arthur, there seems to be little wrong with you. Let me know if you have any more lapses of memory or headaches, now get out of here as my patient is getting unruly…"

Merlin smiled, he had managed to make arrangements to meet privately with Gaius and tell him what had happened in Dunnsford. "Arthur, if you're going to get some things down on paper for this meeting with the king, we should be going back to the chambers.

The two took their leave and Simon said, "Gaius, Merlin is special isn't he?"

Gaius looked at the twenty-two year old and said, "Yes, Simon, he certainly is…!"

-0-0-

As far as Arthur could determine, the meeting with the king and the four original knights was a waste of time. The king already had all the information from Gielbert via Aislin. He noted that he was satisfied that they had done a fair job but was not impressed to hear that they had lost a horse and two guards and had a knight now under the physician's care. "Arthur, you should really try to take more care of the expedition members."

Arthur just cast his eyes down, he wasn't going to argue as the king hadn't seen the river in flood.

Merlin glanced at Gielbert, the two of them knowing just how ineffective the prince had been. It brought back to Merlin all the worry and stress of those four days. However, more than that, he hated hearing the king criticise Arthur without knowing all the facts.

Then all the council members wished to have their say. By the time it was over, Merlin was furious that old men had commented on the failure of the outing without knowing anything. For heaven's sake, they had returned with eight of the ten guards, eighteen of the nineteen horses. As well, they had left a town pleased with the effort and work they had done.

The king dismissed them with a wave of his hand and they went into the corridor. "Sorry, I made such a mess of it," Arthur said.

"Don't feel like that," Gielbert said, "We all did a good job!" He then went off to Donnatienne.

"Yes," said Merlin to lighten the mood, "Nobody got lost and we all rode home on our own horses. The villagers were happy and I enjoyed myself"

"Merlin, you like rain! Obviously, you're very easy to please." Arthur was walking next to him and he purposely let his hand brush against him."

Merlin saw the funny side of it and said, "Don't remember your complaining about rain this morning, Arthur!" and he took off down the corridor with Arthur in pursuit. He was fast and he knew that he could out distance Arthur easily. He had just come around a corner and he saw knights ahead. He slowed down as he passed them, nodding at the ones he knew.

"Merlin?" said Rawn.

"Can't stop…on an errand for Arthur, see you later." He continued hurrying along the corridor.

Arthur was the next to run interference from the knights and he too explained that he was in a hurry and asked if anyone had seen Merlin, who was nowhere to be found. "He just passed us in a hurry," said Rawn.

"Thanks!" said Arthur and hurried off.

Merlin had nipped into an alcove and lay in wait. As Arthur passed him, he grabbed him and hauled him in, wedging him against the wall with the weight of his body. He said, "The next time, there's an emergency, Love, and you are expected to go, you could remind the king how dissatisfied he was with your last effort. Offer to let him go instead and you could stay here with me because…I am _never_ dissatisfied with anything you do." His lips found Arthur's in the semi light. When he got his breath, he said, "Umm, just what I needed!"

-0-0-

Merlin eventually met up with Gaius while Arthur lunched with the king and a member of the Treasury Council to preview the budget for the upcoming Thirtieth Birthday Festivities. He moaned and complained about having to go but Merlin assured him that if he wanted a really nice present from the king, the least thing he could do was play along.

"I'd like to see you play along, Merlin!"

"But, Arthur," Merlin said sweetly, "Don't I always?" Then he ducked out of the way as a leather glove flew in his direction. "Anyway, think of this, I know that there is partridge for lunch and the king will obviously been serving wine, so go and be pleasant."

Merlin handed him another tunic and when he was dressed to his satisfaction, he escorted him to the king's chambers whispering before he went in. "Chin up and be a good boy…!" He turned away waving over his shoulder to Arthur who looked as if he were going into the headmaster's study.

-0-0-

Sitting with Gaius, on a bench near the kitchen gardens, Merlin went over in detail the events which had lead to Arthur's exhaustion, his word of choice, as he really didn't know what else to call his sickness. He explained the sequence of two horses carried down the river, one of them Gidun and then Simon jumping in after him.

Merlin shook his head, even recounting it was uncomfortable. "Gaius, I might have been at fault, I wouldn't talk to him or let him touch me. I couldn't understand what was happening between us. He never acknowledged that I was worried about Simon and very sad about Gidun. He was no longer the kind, sympathetic man I knew."

There was an obvious pause, Merlin's face took on a haunted look and he said so quietly that Gaius had to strain to hear him, "Gaius, he wasn't happy to see me. I tried to tell him about Simon but he went berserk. He yelled at me; eventually striking me across the face and pushing me over. Gielbert tried to intervene but he turned on him as well. The last thing he said to Gielbert was, 'Get him out of my sight, as I won't be responsible for what I might do to him!' Gaius, I remember it word for word."

Gaius made tutting sounds and put his arm around Merlin's shoulders, waiting for him to gain control.

"Gielbert stayed with Arthur as he was acting really strangely. They wouldn't let me go anywhere near him. I had to share Gielbert's tent but sneaked out and kept watch outside Arthur's tent all night…but I didn't crawl in.

"Next day, Arthur was sick; he was comatose and possibly had a fever. Gaius, I tried to remember everything you'd told me but I was scared. When I spoke to him, he didn't try to push me away but I don't think my voice was reaching him. I just used your rescue remedy and waited."

Merlin gave a huge sigh. He looked up at Gaius and managed a slight smile. "He finally came out of it after four days and has no memory of anything since crossing the River Dunne. Gielbert, Rook, Aislin and Thomas know what happened…I'm just worried that someone else, a guard saw it and will spread rumours about what happened."

"Has he ever referred to it?"

"No, but every now and again, he's miles away, his brow all furrowed as if he is searching for something."

"Has he been nasty to you since that day?"

"Nothing! Even when he was really out of it, he would turn towards me on the bed, snuggle and curl his fingers around mine. He was unable to speak but he seemed to know if I was looking after him. One day, his eyelids did a lot of fluttering, he was more restless. So that night, I gave him less of your remedy and he woke up. Was I giving him too much. is that why he stayed asleep?"

"No, I think it helped his brain rest and the remedy would also help minimise bad dreams and worries."

"Gaius, one of the guards came down with the same thing but he went one step further and killed his cousin before he fell unconscious. I used the remedy on him but to no avail as he died."

"Well…let's be thankful that Arthur seems to have made a full recovery. You will have to watch him for any reoccurring problems and let me know immediately. Also, if he becomes agitated as he remembers things, tell me. You will however, have to tell him the truth if he ever realises what happened but you can be kind and minimise how upset you felt. I know you, Merlin, you've already forgiven him and he knows that you still love him so hopefully it won't be too much of a shock."

Gaius stood. Merlin and he walked back to his chambers as he had a book, _Beyond Corporal Exhaustion_, which he wanted Merlin to see.

-0-0-

Arthur decided to go riding during the afternoon and was able to tell Merlin, some of the events planned for the tournament. "My father hinted that he would love to see grandchildren before he died. So I do hope that he doesn't plan to invite nobles with lots of eligible daughters as I might just take off for a few weeks and avoid the whole thing. But on second thought, I could put Gawaine in charge of the selection committee; it would be right up his alley!"

Merlin thought, 'Oh, God, Gawaine!' He had completely forgotten that Gawaine would be at the tournament, what if…?"

They rode as far as Castle Farm and Arthur didn't complain about any aches and pains. It was a lovely afternoon, good friends, great horses. They talked about everything and nothing and came back relaxed and happy.

Back in their chambers, Merlin said, "We should take time for ourselves more often. I feel as if this afternoon was a mini holiday." Laughing he said, "Now back to the grindstone! Sit and I'll help you off with your boots and you'd better put on something clean for supper with the Tournament Committee."

Arthur hadn't been listening so Merlin gave him a little push as encouragement and he sat down on the bench. Out of the blue, he said, "Merlin, it dawned on me that Gidun is now getting on. Maybe, you should think about having another horse to break into the routine. There's a rather nice grey gelding at Castle Farm and I think that with a little training he would suit you. I have Iago as my back up horse and think you…" Arthur glanced at Merlin and froze. He was kneeling with a shocked look on his face and as Arthur leant towards him, he pulled back. Arthur felt a shiver go up his spine, feeling that he had seen Merlin look like that recently but he couldn't put his finger on where or even when.

"What's wrong?" Arthur managed to put his arm on his shoulder. "Get up and sit on the bench." He grabbed his arm and pulled him towards himself. "Do you feel sick or something?"

Merlin managed to come out of it sufficiently to shake his head, "No, it was nothing. Just felt strange…!"

"Probably, somebody walking over you grave… Anyway, what do you think of my idea?"

"I have no intention of having another horse, Arthur!" Merlin's tone was less than gracious, "Gidun is in good health and I'll face that obstacle when the time comes."

"I didn't mean that you had to give him up. You could have two horses."

"Well, as the king is not too happy with my having Gidun, I don't see how he would be too impressed if I took one from Castle Farm. Arthur, I really don't want to talk about it, anymore! Now, let me get back to your boots."

Arthur shook his head and said, "Sometimes, Merlin, you surprise me, I thought that you would have liked to have another horse…"

"Arthur, it's over, it's finished!" Merlin stood up and gave Arthur his hand pulling him up with him. "Buff linen under tunic, the black doublet or the red, your buff trousers and some lighter weight boots, alright?" Merlin had suddenly become very manservant like but with a tinge of bossiness.

Feeling that he was maybe still a little distance, Arthur mumbled, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…"

But Merlin interrupted, by suddenly putting his hands on Arthur's shoulders and saying, "I know you didn't…it was very generous and I'm sorry that I snapped at you. I can't explain it and now I feel really stupid." For a second back then, Arthur's suggestion of replacing Gidun had reminded him of his coldness and lack of understanding in Dunnsford. He knew that he'd reacted stupidly but for those few seconds, his heart had been in control not his head.

He looked into Arthur's worried face and smiled. He put a hand on each side of Arthur's head and slowly and deliberately kissed him. His heart was fluttering and he regretted that they weren't going to have the evening to themselves. He ran his nails gently across the nape of Arthur's neck and smiled into the kiss as he felt Arthur respond.

"Right!" He said, pulling himself away. "Duty calls and as pleasant as that promised to be, it will have to be placed on the back burner until we return."

Arthur pulled him to himself and whispered, "Merlin, there is something inside you that brings out the best in me. If I were able to only say three words for the rest of my life, they would be, 'I love Merlin'!"

"Arthur, that is great because my three words would be, 'I love Gawaine'!" He pulled back to catch Arthur's reaction and he grinned at him.

"In that case, Merlin, I'm changing my three words to 'Merlin is lying!' Come here…"

-0-0-

By the time they got downstairs, the king was already at table and frowned as Arthur entered, saying sarcastically, "Glad, you deigned to join us!"

At the first opportunity which Merlin had to stand behind Arthur's chair, on the pretence of picking something up off the floor, he managed to whisper, "His majesty must be feeling a little left out, how about we ask him to joins us back in our chambers later this evening…?"

Arthur's control was admirable but Gaius across the table raised an eyebrow at them. Yet, he was glad to see that everything seemed normal between the two of them.

Supper seemed interminable. Arthur was mentally checking off the senior council members whom he would replace once he took the throne. He'd keep six of them for the Grand Council but the rest would be younger men. He smiled when he realised that one day, his young men would be old knights like these. Finally, the king retired and everyone was able to do the same.

Merlin pulled Arthur into two alcoves on the way to their room. Arthur laughed, "Merlin, if we walked a little faster, these detours would be unnecessary. We'd already be there…"

"Yes, but you have to agree that this will make our arrival even more anticipated."

"Merlin, I don't know about anticipated, but if we don't get there soon…it will be a _fait accompli_!"

The slamming of their bedchamber door announced their arrival and without further delay, they collapsed on the bed.

-0-0-

Overnight it got colder and Merlin got up to close the window. It was a full moon and he returned to bed, thinking of other moonlit nights. Arthur was still fast asleep but not soundly as he was tossing and turning. Merlin pulled the cover up, making sure that Arthur got his fair share and drifted back to sleep.

_Arthur didn't know where he was, it was a flooded village. He was not alone but he felt that someone was missing. _

_The horses were tied to the trees and he could see Merlin's horse Gidun, who for some silly reason was fussing._

_His bedroll was near the beach and he could see other knights asleep. He kept looking for someone. Simon was keeping watch but he had his head in his hands and he was sobbing... He thought, "Knights don't cry, what is happening…?"_

_Whatever he was saying was not popular as the knights looked displeased, so he just raised his voice even louder. It made no sense what he was saying, but he needed to get it off his chest._

_Gidun came toward him and for some unfathomed reason; he hauled back and punched the gentle horse in the head. He yelled at it and pushed it back, _

_The horse's head faded and Arthur was looking at Merlin's face, a look of surprised horror and disbelief on it. Merlin just stood there...shocked...with the imprint of a hand across his cheek._

_Gawaine grabbed Merlin and gently lead him away._

_Arthur called, "Merlin, please!"_

_But Gawaine answered him with a threat, "Get out of my sight, as I won't be responsible for what I might do to you!"_

_Arthur felt the words burn into him as if he should lay claim to them…_

_Ultimately, everything went quiet and he lost his train of thought…_

Arthur woke beside Merlin but he knew there was more to this dream. It was too vivid. If he could only understand it, he knew that there was truth involved. He knew that Gawaine didn't belong but certainly Merlin, Gidun and Simon did.

Why would he hit Gidun? He was never cruel to any of the horses. Why had Gidun turned into Merlin? …and then it hit him…

He saw the beach, his saw Merlin running toward him grinning happily and he heard himself yelling, he watched as he struck his friend across the face. He remembered the utter despair…he gasped and sat upright…then he started to sob, waking Merlin.

"Arthur, are you alright?"

He wanted to say, 'I remember!" but he couldn't get his breath, so he just clung to Merlin willing himself to say something but the gasping for breath wouldn't stop…..

Merlin made Arthur sit on the edge of the bed and got him into his dressing gown. He took Arthur's arm and put it over his shoulder and held onto it, putting his other arm around his waist and helped him to their bench and sat holding him.

At last, Arthur was able to take steady breaths.

"Are you feeling better now?" enquired Merlin, gently kissing his forehead.

"You should have told me…!"

"Told you what…?"

"What I did to you on the beach…"

There was silence, Merlin rubbed his finger across Arthur's lips and said, "It was alright, you weren't yourself, you were sick and I didn't want to upset you."

"What happened to me Merlin? I never thought even in my wildest dreams that I would ever purposely hurt you. I hit you across the face and Gielbert tried to stop me and I was ready to hit him too. Arthur started to get upset again, "Merlin, how can you even bear to sit beside me, let alone sleep with me. Aren't you afraid?"

"Arthur, I can love you because I knew that that person on the beach was not the Arthur I have known for the last twelve years. You had come down with something. You fell asleep and didn't wake for four days and during those days, you snuggled into me in bed and held my hand and ran your fingers through my hair. I knew that even though you were asleep, that you were still yourself. What would I have gained by telling you? You didn't remember and you were your old loving self?"

"Not than old…!"

"No, not that old…"

"Who else knows?"

"Just the knights on the expedition and Gaius…Simon wasn't there and knows nothing about it."

"Why was I cross with you?"

"Well, it was partly my fault as I was upset as I thought that Gidun had drowned along with Simon and I wasn't very nice to you. I thought you didn't care and I wouldn't talk to you or let you near me. Then I took Mulgan and went off by myself and by chance found Simon and Gidun. I was running down the beach to tell you when…"

"What can I ever do so that you can forgive me?"

"I forgave you that same night."

"But what can I do, to show you that I'm really sorry."

Merlin stood pulling Arthur up and led him back to the bed. He slid in after him and pulled the blankets over them. Snuggled up to him, he said quietly, "Just, love me, Arthur!"


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11 : A PHYSICIAN'S OPINION AND A DIETARY INDISCRETION**

Arthur tapped on Gaius's door, after breakfast hoping that the physician was alone. He was…

Looking up, Gaius saw a worried Arthur. His first thought was Merlin and he glanced behind him to see if maybe he was also there. Arthur caught the look and said, "Merlin's visiting Geoffrey and I'm by myself."

"So, Sire, what can I do for you this morning?"

"First of all, Merlin doesn't know I'm here. Gaius, I remembered what happened. I don't understand why I did it and I need to know that it will never happen again. I can get no sense out of Merlin, he doesn't want to talk about it just insisting that I slept for four days, that he has forgiven me and he refers to it as an illness of sorts. Have you any ides what happened, he told me he'd spoken with you?"

"Arthur, sit down!" He motioned to the table before swinging the kettle over the fire and placing two mugs on the table. "I really have no answers but I do know that sometimes, when people get upset and stressed, they lose all contact with reality and begin to imagine things and situations which actually do not exist. I think that happened to you. Merlin said that he was distant and maybe you blamed yourself for the whole mess at the river both with Simon and Merlin's horse. Then your mind decided to blame Merlin, so you put the guilt on his shoulders alone and feeling justified, you lashed out at him."

"But, why him? Why not Gielbert as he was my second in command?"

Gaius reached for the kettle and poured boiling water over the herbs in the mugs, pushing one across to Arthur. "Because, you don't have the same relationship with Gielbert…because in blaming yourself you decided instead to blame an extension of yourself, hence, Merlin received the brunt of your anger. I really can only surmise and that is, at best open to anyone's interpretation."

"Will it happen again, will I lose control and do something even worse?"

"No one can answer that. All the little pieces would have to again fall into place and the chances of that happening are rare. I think that when the going is really tough, you need to think about yourself, delegate responsibilities and so doing you will decrease your amount of stress. You have excellent knights to support you and…" He paused smiling as he looked at Arthur, "...and one very special person always at your side."

A voice said, "Arthur, you never told me about another special person?" and Merlin stepped into the room, walking to the table, he put his arm around Arthur's shoulder. "I knew, I'd find you here! Have you been grilling Gaius about your health? I told you, Arthur, you're all well again. Tell him Gaius!"

Gaius moved over so Merlin could sit beside him opposite Arthur. Gaius continued, "Arthur, I'm pretty sure it was a one time occurrence. The fact that another person suffered the same symptoms with more dire results leads me to believe that it had natural causes. But, I cannot explain what happened to either you or the guard. Luckily for you, you had Merlin and one of my remedies which seemed to have worked wonders."

"Gaius, you won't need to tell the king that I lost my mind and was no longer in control of the situation, will you? He will accuse me of being weak, a coward, irresponsible and unable to lead an expedition."

"Well," added Merlin trying to lighten the mood, "One good thing, your father would probably congratulate you on your fine example of disciplinary behaviour as he always seems to think that you let me walk all over you!"

Arthur smiled and took Merlin's hand across the table, "Merlin, shut up! If you felt the way, I do inside for what happened; you wouldn't be able to joke about it!"

"Arthur, if you felt the way, I do inside because of what happened; you would realise that you are making a mountain out of a molehill! Believe me, I was so worried about you, I knew that you were sick and all I wanted to do was get you back to Gaius."

There was a flicker of amusement in Gaius's eyes; Arthur would never be able to better Merlin.

If Arthur had hit anyone else, it would have been taken in stride and there would have been no repercussions. The prince would have felt justified for his action against a slight, perceived or imagined. It was Arthur's feeling of guilt, currently playing on his mind which prompted this self doubt.

However, Merlin's own confidence and love for Arthur had enabled him to walk away never doubting Arthur's fondness for him, accepting that he was ill and more importantly knowing that Arthur's love for him was undiminished, as was his for the prince.

Arthur said, "Gaius, join us for lunch in our chambers, I'm free till later this afternoon."

"I'd enjoy that, you can tell me some of the plans for the upcoming tournament and…Arthur… Stop worrying!"

"Leave him up to me, Gaius, I have some wonderful relaxation methods which I found in a specific book…" Merlin said, raising his eyebrows and slowly nodding his head, giving Arthur that knowing look.

"Get out of here the two of you, I've got work to do but I'll see you around noon!"

-0-0-

Arthur and the senior knights had a meeting with the king. Merlin was not needed; he was free to do whatever he wanted. He decided that he might spend the time in the turret room with a good book. He opened the windows and left the door onto the courtyard open. It was a beautiful early May afternoon, so after he'd tidied up a bit, he took a blanket off the bed, laid it on the grass and lay back to watch the clouds.

He was totally relaxed and he came to because an annoying fly, was walking across his face. Without opening his eyes, he brushed it away and settled again, but this fly had a death wish as it returned repeatedly. Finally, after one more swat he opened his eyes and saw that it was cloudy. The fly was still with him and turning he saw Arthur sitting there, with a long fine stem of grass.

Arthur laughed and said, "You are more forgiving than I am. I would have got up immediately but no, you lay there quite peacefully, languidly brushing at a non-existent fly. It was worth a copper for admission." He dropped down beside Merlin.

Merlin cheekily held out his hand, "So, give it to me if I am so entertaining…"

Arthur said, "I'll make you a deal, a kiss instead of a coin."

"No way!" said Merlin. "Kisses are for the asking but when have you ever paid me for entertaining you. Anyway, with my reputation and expertise in the field of entertaining, I am demanding at least a silver coin."

"Who do you think you are, Merlin the Magnificent?"

"Arthur, that has a nice ring to it, and if you copyright it for me, I will forego any payment."

"What in heaven's name, Merlin, are you going on about?"

"It means that phrase, Merlin the Magnificent, would then only belong to me."

"Why would anyone else want it?"

Merlin shrugged saying, "Well, you never know…"

Arthur stretched over and said, "…and if instead I gave you this title…" here he whispered a few words in Merlin's ear causing him to blush, "Could you also copyright that as well?"

"I doubt it but it sounds like a great way to end the afternoon!"

-0-0-

Supper was in his father's chambers, just Richard and Merlin serving, with the help of the king's current squire Nathan. It turned out to be a pleasant enough evening. The king was again talking of the knights and ladies who would be attending the summer tournament and the celebrations. The castle would be full and special arrangements had been made to accommodate competing knights who wished to stay in the castle itself. Any visiting knight without his own squire would be able to arrange for a Camelot squire for the duration of his stay.

Merlin ran through a few names in his mind and Gawaine's came up. It would be great having him around again.

The invitations had already been sent out to representatives of the five neighbouring kingdoms. The king mentioning that he hoped that there would be many rulers of the neighbouring kingdoms or their senior representatives in attendance. "Arthur, you will be my representative at many of the welcoming suppers, as I intend to now pass some of more important aspects of the kingdom to you. You've attended so many in the past that I know that you will be more than capable."

Arthur nodded his acceptance. He had been bored out of his skull at many a welcoming dinner and knew he could do it with his hands tied behind his back.

The Investiture to the Knighthood would be rescheduled for July. The new knights would not be taking their customary holidays, neither would any squires or pages. All family members attending from far away would be invited to extend their visit until after the tournament which was to be held in August. This year, Arthur's birthday would fall before the tournament.

Merlin's thoughts went to the inside castle staff especially the kitchen staff who would be run off their feet with an influx of mouths to feed. They would probably be opening the building adjacent to the kitchen gardens which had years previously served as the castle's main cooking area. When he thought of the amount of food needed, he was happy that he was a member of the Royal Household Staff and not a member of the Purveyor's Staff. They were going to be run off their feet in the weeks leading up to the arrival of the first guests.

He also thought about the Lord Chamberlain and his assistant Humphrey, stressful jobs for the two of them as well. Gaius would also be busy not only with the injured combatants but with his regular day to day medical practice. Some of the visiting kings would hopefully be accompanied by their own physicians.

Arthur nodded at him and Merlin moved to refill his wine goblet but he wanted his main course platter removed, Nathan doing the same for the king. Richard went into the antechamber returning with the bottle of mead as Nathan carried in a selection of seasonal and dried fruits, cheeses and savouries with morsels of sun-dried bread.

Uther informed Arthur, after two servings of mead, that he was dismissed. "You may go now; we can continue this conversation at a later date."

He stood saying, "Good night, Sire!" Thanking his father for the evening, he left followed by Merlin who after bowing to the king also acknowledged Richard as he closed the door.

Walking down the corridor, Arthur said, "I'm only hoping that he gives me enough time to train and compete. I've been looking forward to this, since last year. I also want to take more interest in the younger knights, Sir Rupert was mentioning the other day that there are few worth watching. What do you think Merlin?"

"Well, Sire as your manservant, my eyes are always glued to your performance…in case you fall over and need help getting up!"

Arthur cuffed him for that remark but left his arm across his shoulders and pulled him toward him.

"Careful, there are still people wandering the corridors at this time."

"One day, Merlin, the likes of you and me will be able to walk through a town and appear in public without having to hide our feelings. Not that we will see it but in the far distant future, it might happen…"

"How distant?"

"Hundreds of…no, thousands of years…"

Before opening their door, Merlin said, "I'd like that!" and they walked, as if into the future with their arms around each others waists…with Arthur allowing his to dip occasionally lower.

The evening was chilly and Merlin closed the chamber windows and lit the fire. He hung up Arthur's clothes as he sat with his legs stretched out wriggling his toes to the warmth of the fire. "Hurry up and sit down, I have something special to tell you."

Merlin slipped out of his clothes, he was hungry as he hadn't eaten so he brought over his supper and sat on the bench leaning against Arthur.

Arthur took his hand and played with his fingers, then decided to feed him bits of food, as he said, "Gielbert wanted us to be the first to know that Donatienne and he will be welcoming a new arrival in October, maybe it will be born on your birthday."

"Well then, I could always remind you when you needed to send the baby a present, couldn't I? Have you heard anything more about Romney and Lady Mathilda's plans? He's walking around in a daze with his feet hardly touching the ground."

"He leaves this week for his family home and will escort his widowed mother, Lady Montfieth and his younger sisters to Camelot for the nuptials. Mathilda and he will return with her but they will be coming back here before the Summer Tournament. Their chambers in the married knights quarters are all arranged and Mathilda will be having one of her mother's young maidservants, so once the castle settles down after the tournament, Humphrey will assign Romney a manservant as well."

"Will her brother Rudd be coming for the wedding?"

"Yes, his mother said that she expected him soon. She's so excited having both her children back in Camelot if only for a short while. I think Rupert is also pleased but he's so busy, he doesn't talk much about family but he did mention that he is thrilled that Mattie as he calls, her is marrying Romney."

"Arthur, let's give them a high backed upholstered bench like ours. I'm sure, they'd appreciate it."

Arthur nodded; he certainly loved his Wilmslow chair as he often thought of it. Gielbert laughingly referred to his as a family chair, room for everyone. Maybe one day, they would become so popular that many chambers would have them.

Merlin had added small pillows to theirs and it certainly felt good after a busy day to be able to stretch out. During the winter months, they sometimes had their supper in front of the fire, using a long narrow table which Merlin had found in his wanderings around the castle.

It was also useful if one of them was sick and not sleeping well. The other could always have slept in the manservant's room but Merlin considered that a cruel punishment and preferred to sleep in front of the fire were he could quickly get to Arthur if needed.

Merlin stood saying, "Well, I'm going to check the doors then turn in, are you coming?"

By the time Merlin had come back, Arthur was already in the bed. Merlin sat on the end of the bed to slip off his house shoes. The flagstones stayed cold until mid summer and often they were never comfortable to walk on barefoot. "We need a carpet on the floor, Arthur." He swung his legs into the bed.

"Something else for you to trip over, Love…?"

"Well, it would protect my knees from the cold in the winter. I figured out that the time I spend on my knees, putting on and taking off your boots equals roughly a day every six months."

"Surprising, I thought it might come out to more than that!"

Merlin decided to ignore that remark and said, "I heard a rumour that bandits have been active again on the border near Tudbrook."

"That's right, I forgot to mention it. The king says that he's sending guards and two knights to that area. Anyway, more importantly, he said that I could travel with them see to the problem and then continue on to wherever else I wanted to go but in total, he wants me back within ten days..."

"Great, you can go off travelling and that will allow me to do some much needed spring cleaning around this place."

"Good idea, you can organise a bevy of little housemaids to help you, that is unless you would prefer to accompany me as I was intending to visit a certain village and stay with this lovely lady and discuss the shortcomings of her son."

Merlin grinned, he'd clued in on it from the beginning as Tudbrook was beyond Ealdor, on Camelot's new border with the Midlands. He loved however, being obtuse and making Arthur tax himself mentally. "Yes, I'll go with you but only if I have the king's blessing to accompany you."

"Well, he'd hardly expect me to go on my own; I'd have to look after myself…" Arthur smiled.

"Right, good point, Arthur! You can't do that, so I had better come with you."

"Anyway, how would I while away the night hours without you?"

"Cute! But I'm sure you could manage. However, as the saying goes, '…whither thou goest, I will go and where thou lodgest I will lodge, thy people will be my people'!"

"Merlin, whatever are you talking about?"

"Just something, Ruth said to a friend…that's the way I feel about you. As long as you want me, I'd follow you to the ends of the earth."

"I want you…and maybe we will reach the ends of the earth." Arthur pulled Merlin over and propping himself on his elbows, he deliberately and slowly kissed him, then he grinned, "Really, Merlin! Ruth?"

Merlin woke after midnight and smiled into the darkness. Arthur really did want him and he realised, that for the last eleven years, he had followed him wherever he went, stayed with him wherever he stayed and he had accepted his people as his own.

Clouds were scudding across the face of the moon and a lone wolf howled as Merlin pulled Arthur's arms closer around him and snuggling back against his chest, fell asleep.

-0-0-

Romney had returned with his mother whom he had proudly introduced to Arthur and the knights. She had heard about Arthur for years from her son but it was Merlin who intrigued her, such a charming man, of whom any mother would be proud. Merlin and Lady Montfieth hit it off immediately. One day, Arthur having a lunch meeting with the knights, had suggested that following lunch, Merlin might take Lady Montfieth to Castle Farm to show her the king's stud farm and then back to meet Gaius and have tea.

Gaius was an old charmer and he and Lady Hester, as she insisted Gaius and Merlin should call her, got on famously. They had met years previously when, as a young knight Romney had broken his leg. Lady Montfieth and the late Lord Calder, were family members to Sir Rodney of Sherewell and his wife Lady Jayne, parents of Spenser.

Merlin served tea and Gaius insisted that he joined them in his little courtyard. Lady Hester told wonderful tales of Romney, his brothers and cousins, when they were growing up, some of them also included a little crown prince. Merlin was having a lovely time when Gaius reminded him that he would be expected by Arthur to help him dress for supper.

"Lady Montfieth, it was a pleasure to meet you and should you be in need of anything, please, do not hesitate to ask my assistance," said Merlin as he bowed to her and left.

Lady Hester said, "He's a credit to his mother and also to you, Gaius." Gaius smiled, his love for and pride in Merlin, evident.

-0-0-

He was in the greatest of moods as he bounced up the stairs to his chambers. Merlin burst in saying, "Arthur, she is absolutely lovely, I can see why Romney is so easy to get on with. I think she's rather taken with Gaius…" He stopped dead, Arthur was sitting half clothed, at the table looking miserable.

"What happened to you? Are you alright or shall I get Gaius?"

"No, I'm not that bad but I think, something I ate at lunch didn't agree with me."

Merlin walked forward and put his hand on Arthur's forehead. It felt clammy. "Well, it's not a fever as you feel cool. Do you have any pains?"

Arthur motioned to his midriff, gasping and held his hand to his stomach. Merlin reached over, removed his hand and put his own there, moving it carefully and saying, "Were you hit in training this morning?"

Arthur went to shake his head, changed his mind and made a mad dash for the water closet. He was lucky as he managed to vomit into the ewer on the wash table and not over the floor. He kept retching and Merlin stood beside him with his hand supporting his forehead as his mam had done when he was vomiting and his other arm around his waist. When the opportunity arose, he managed to get a washcloth, dunked it into the pitcher of water, then placed the soaking wet cloth on the back of Arthur's neck.

Finally, Arthur stood upright and Merlin handed him another wash cloth, this one well wrung out. He wiped his face and gave Merlin an apologetic smile.

"How do you feel now?"

"Much better…I'm sorry for the mess, Merlin. It just came upon me suddenly."

"You did very well, as I'd rather empty a basin than have a swarm of servants come in to wash the floor. Come on, sit on the bed…"

"Honestly, Merlin, I feel so much better I think I'd rather sit by the window. Where are you going?"

"To get rid of this," he motioned to the basin, "And…to tell Leon, to make your apologies to the other knights that you won't be dining with them."

"I'm fine really."

"Well, how does mutton stew sound?"

Arthur put his hand to his mouth and said, "Merlin, don't …!" Merlin left the room to find Leon. Arthur put his head back on the chair and let the gently breezes drift over him.

Merlin was back in no time and said, "I spoke with Leon. Did anything taste off at lunch today?"

"No, you ate it as well."

"I don't think the staff ate the same food and I certainly didn't eat the pike as it didn't smell right." Merlin looked at him and continued, "Arthur, don't tell me you ate it?" Arthur nodded, "Well, that explains it then…Not to worry as Gavin and Rawn are not feeling great either so you won't be the only absentee at dinner. I ordered you some bland soup, dry grilled bread and a little boiled chicken."

"But I'm not hungry."

"Believe me, you will be later this evening. I'll wait and eat with you. I think that maybe, I'll have a nice venison steak with a spiced cream sauce and butter-grilled seasonal vegetable. Sounds nice?" he grinned at Arthur.

"Merlin!"

"I know…Shut up!" and he sat at the table grinning and poured a goblet of water for Arthur.

Within the next few hours, Arthur was feeling himself and did venture to eat a little supper. He made a face at the soup, which he insisted had as much flavour as congealed dish water. His eyes flicking occasionally to Merlin's meal of roasted chicken but the only response he got from Merlin was a shake of the head…

By the following morning, most people who had felt unwell due to the pike were up and around having overcome a classic example of the dangers of medieval kitchens.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12 : MIDNIGHT VISITORS**

Arthur met with Sir Rodick who was to lead the Tudbrook mission. He would be accompanied by Sir Brian and six guards, a groom and packhorse. They studied the maps and decided that they would leave tomorrow mid-morning. They would spend two nights on the road but decided if they went via Stillwater, there should be able to take advantage of a hunting lodge in the nearby forest. The following night would mean, that unless they could find an inn or a willing farmer, they would be sleeping rough and then, it would be on to their destination.

Merlin was busy sorting out a few extra clothes which could be packed into saddle bags. Gaius had given him a parcel of supplies for Hunith and Merlin's favourite cook who was planning food supplies winked as she said, "I know you, young men, extra food never goes to waste and I have enclosed a few things which might interest your dear mother."

Merlin smiling thinking that there were kind people everywhere, you just had to give them the opportunity. He had bought in the market, a clasp of silver as he had decided that it might appeal to his mother. He wrapped it slipping it in with his clothes. He would have loved to have seen her with beautiful things but he knew that even though Arthur would have willingly bought for her whatever he had wanted him to, she would have no opportunity to wear them. Instead, he would take linen and some sturdy felted cloth for her to make winter clothing and slip her some silver so she could shop for what she needed whenever she had the chance to get to one of the market towns. He would also see that she was well stocked with foods when they left.

Merlin remembered how she had refused Arthur's and his invitation to move to the town of Camelot when the kingdom was extended to include the area of Ealdor and beyond. Gaius had even invited her to share his accommodation, she could have taken over Merlin's old room but she had said, "Merlin, that is your life and although I would love to have the opportunity to see you whenever I wanted and I would have been happy helping Gaius, my life is here."

"But you could build a new life, you could still be a healer and help deliver babies…"

"The people in this area trust and depend upon me and I feel that I owe it to them to be present during the difficult times in their lives."

"I'd love to have you nearer, Mam…"

"I know, Merlin Love, but we all have a reason for being where we are and just as at this time, your place is with Arthur, my place is in Ealdor."

He had not bothered her again but had elicited from her the promise that when she felt that she was no longer able to cope by herself, she would agree to the move.

Arthur arrived as he finished sorting the clothes. "Is there anything in particular that you want to take?"

"No, whatever you decide upon is fine."

"Well," said Merlin slyly, "I would be happy with your wearing only the basic necessities…"

"You can forget that, imagine facing my own guards, bandits and your mother hardly dressed!"

"Oh, well, it was a thought!"

Arthur threw down the maps he was carrying on the table. "Come here, this is where we are going and then we will have to go east to get to Ealdor. The others will return as they came. There is a pass we have to negotiate here, and then through the end of this valley, we join the road we usually take. Have you ever gone over the pass?"

"No, I know it is possible to do with horses but it will take time. Is there any other route less arduous?"

They poured over the map and saw that by backtracking it was possible to avoid the mountains but that it would increase their travelling time by maybe another day. Finally, Merlin said, "Let's try the pass, if the weather holds, it should be fine. Both the horses are experienced and pretty sensible."

"Anyway, if we don't like it we can always go back and try the alternate route." Arthur added, "We can't stay away too long and I intend to be back here in plenty of time for the wedding. Once Mathilda's family has handed her to Romney and they are married, one of my duties along with his other attendants will be to protect her during the festivities. Can't have the likes of Gawaine deciding that he'd like to carry her off!"

He laughed, walked to the window and became thoughtful, "Do you know that the day I married the princess, I felt rotten the whole time…? I was torn and you seemed so indifferent, it killed me to see you like that. I wanted you to rant and rage against it"

"I couldn't, you had to go through with it. However, I was upset, I remember Gaius grabbing my elbow as he thought I was going to…" Merlin chose his words carefully, Gaius had actually been pinching him to keep him focused and prevent any explosion of magic, "…to collapse as you made your vows. My dearest memory of that whole sad affair, is your crawling into bed with me before dawn the following morning."

"…do you realise that Little Merlin would now be four years old? As far as I am concerned, memories of him are the only good thing which came out of that union."

"Memories of Prince Merlin Gaius Pendragon, a special little baby…" Merlin walked behind Arthur and put his arms around him giving him a little kiss on the back of his head. It hadn't been too much to ask that one little baby who was so loved by both of them, could have survived…but it was one of those sad realities of life that he hadn't.

-0-0-

They were well on their way, maybe two more hours of riding before reaching Stillwater and Cenred's former hunting lodge.

Merlin was enjoying the outing, the weather had held and there was plenty of wildlife for Arthur to comment upon, wishing that he had his bow and threatening to borrow one from one of the guards. Rodick had smiled, he'd known Arthur since he was around six and his love for hunting had never diminished. He wasn't a difficult man to work with and he hoped that this mission would be a success.

Riding leisurely through roads of spring greenery, with primroses and bluebells carpeting secluded glens, Merlin thought that he had never seen Camelot look so beautiful. "This is our place, Arthur," he mentioned, as the road was flanked with the yellow flower.

"Arthur smiled, "Certainly is Merlin, plenty of wildlife…"

"Look closer, my voice is screaming all over."

Arthur pulled Mulgan closer to Gidun and looked closely at Merlin. "I can't hear anything! What are you talking about, Merlin you are a riddle but one that I am unwilling to ever part with…"

"I'll give you three clues," he said, "Then, Arthur, if you don't get it, I'm going home…"

Arthur got an annoyed look on his face, this was supposed to lead into a holiday in Ealdor. It wouldn't make much sense going without him. "O.K., I'm all ears, go ahead."

"Plant pot….?

"Plants…?" answered Arthur. Merlin nodded making a circular sign with his hand that he should continue, "Soil…?"

Merlin dropped his head onto Gidun's mane and groaned. Arthur tried again, "Plant plot…flowers!" Arthur was rewarded with a big grin.

Merlin held up two fingers, "Second clue, welcomed after rain…."

"Rainbow…?" Merlin shook his head. Arthur tried again, "Welcomed after rain, I get it sunshine…!

Merlin breathed a sigh of relief. "We're getting there…" and he again made the sign for Arthur to keep guessing along those lines.

"Shadows…puddles? Well, for drying them up…bright…orb…."

"Arthur, I didn't make it that difficult!"

"Yellow…?"

Merlin breathed a sign of relief. This game was like pulling teeth. By the time he had finished, there would be no more primroses around. He held up three fingers, "Third clue, watch carefully!" Merlin pointed to his own chest, then he pointed to Arthur's chest and waited.

Arthur looked at him and shrugged with a questioning look on his face. "Men…?" Merlin shook his head and again made the motions. Arthur looked at him and made the motions back.

"People…?" Merlin shook his head. "Residents of Camelot…riders…fighting chest to chest…we both know Gaius…?"

Merlin's shoulders sagged and Arthur looked beyond him and suddenly said with a sneaky grin on his face, "Hey, Merlin, have you seen all the primroses, do you remember what they mean? 'I can't live without you'!"

Merlin turned and grinned, "Flowers, yellow, you and I! Honestly, Arthur, I could not have made it any easier!"

"But, I got it!"

"Yes, but it almost took you two miles."

"No, it didn't I realised it after flowers and yellow, how couldn't I?" and Arthur gave him a wink. If they had been alone, he would probably have given him a kiss as well but that was inadvisable in the company they were presently keeping!

Rodick rode forward saying, "Sire, we are reaching the turn off for the lodge, should be as easy as following this path for another couple of miles."

Merlin and Arthur gathered up their reins which had been lying on their horses' necks and trotted up a track on the left. The trees overhead formed a canopy and it was cooler. There was a stream and after a while, they could see a building in a clearing. It looked deserted but in fair condition.

-0-0-

Merlin jumped down and threw Arthur his reins and he walked across the clearing and stopped. There were traces that a few people had recently been staying there. Wagon tracks were obvious as well as campfires and an area where horses had been tied up for some time. He held up his hand and the others waited. He circled the building and came back, giving the all clear.

Arthur joined him, "Is anyone still around?"

"No, the place seems empty but I got a feeling that we are not alone. Nothing negative but there is something."

"Have Rodick and Brian join us and we'll take a closer look." Arthur said and Merlin and he took one side of the building with Rodick and Brian on the other side. Neither groups found anything out of the ordinary.

"Guess, the sound of the guards scared the person away, if there was someone."

Arthur walked to the heavy oak door and pushed it in, they all ducked as doves flew out. Laughing, they advances into the main room and looked around. It contained a large table and benches. Whoever had been here with the wagons, had also been in the building. There were scraps of food around and ashes in the fireplace.

Brian said, "Arthur, this bread crust isn't old, it's not even completely dried out."

There were two more empty chambers on the main floor and Rodick searched one while Merlin took the other. Each room held a bench and a table. 'This would be a good room for the two of them,' he thought. He stopped, he was once again picking up human feelings, someone was trying to contact him. Spirit or corporal being, he didn't know.

He went back into the main room and Arthur was there with their luggage which had been brought in and dumped in the middle of the floor. The groom carried in their food supplies and a cooking pot. Merlin said, "Arthur, there are two rooms." Picking up their bedrolls and saddle bags, he made his way into the one he had checked. Brian took the remaining luggage into the one he would share with Rodick. The guards would camp in the clearing.

Between the two rooms was a staircase leading up to an open loft. Merlin left Arthur to explore there as he picked up the pot and went out to find the stream which they had seen as they entered the clearing. One of the guards whose duty it was to cook that night, went with him. He dropped his pot causing Merlin to look up as he descended the bank and saw what had shocked him. Two bodies were at the foot of the bank.

"Get the Prince and Sir Rodick!" Merlin said and the guard scrambled up the bank. Merlin slid down to the bodies and turned them over, both were boys, he figured they'd be dead no more than two days. They had their hands tied in front of them. He guessed their ages at between nine and twelve.

Arthur appeared at the top of the bank and said, "Is everything alright?"

"Not for them, it's not!" answered Merlin a little too sharply. "Two boys, one quite a bit younger, hands tied and wrists badly chaffed". He bent over and ran his hands over the older of the two. "Broken hip by the look of it and dislocated shoulders. Damn, who would do this to a kid." He then turned to the younger boy and winced, he had one broken leg, one dislocated shoulder, one broken arm. His face had been practically pulverised and he had been molested. There were some things he hated dealing with and this was one of them.

Arthur said, "…and the other?"

"You don't want to know."

"Merlin, please!"

Merlin said nothing just pointed out the injuries and turned to Arthur with saddened eyes. "If I lay my hands on whomever did this… I'll kill him!"

Arthur turned and grabbing his arm pulled him up the path after him. He walked to the guards and asked for men to carry the bodies back to the lean to next to the lodge. Arthur walked into the lodge and gave the knights a summary of the condition of the bodies, Rodick said, "…might be slavers."

"Bandits…one and the same as in Sowhill, men looking for young men and boys to sell for the mines and more nefarious places. They take food supplies livestock, young men and even children." Suddenly Arthur realised the mission had become more intense. "We'll stay tonight and follow their trail as soon as it's light. Have the guards do a sweep of the area now on foot, to see if they turn up any more victims." Rodick nodded and left with Brian to notify the captain of the guard to commence a search.

The day had started so beautifully and the surroundings seemed to make light of the seriousness of the affair. How could children get so tangled up with the evil in the world? Children, whose lives should have been carefree, protected primarily by parents and indirectly the village.

Merlin was upset, he'd been there and he wanted to close himself away from all that conflict and hurt. He had been an adult and had had a hard time coping. He thought, 'Pity, the innocent children!'

Arthur looked up and saw that Merlin was upset. There was nothing he could say, he knew that he'd flashed back to the rape in the cave and then his own mind flashed back to himself, a thirteen year old who had suffered at the hands of Sir Cyril, until he had tearfully told Gaius what had happened. They were both injured souls.

He walked forward and laid his arm lightly across Merlin's shoulders and they stood there until Merlin, sniffed and walked away, saying. "I'd better light the fire and start supper for everyone; they'll all be hungry when they come in."

Arthur said, "I'll help you collect wood."

Turning and giving him a sad smile, Merlin said, "What has the world come to, when a prince does the job of a servant!"

"A special place…?" was all Arthur said as he followed him out the door.

-0-0-

The guards returned empty-handed. They had found the trail taken by the slavers but had found no other bodies. Merlin had almost finished cooking food for the guards and themselves. He picked up the pot containing their food and followed Arthur and the two knights back to the lodge, Arthur reminding every one that it would be an early departure tomorrow.

The four of them sat quietly eating, each man's mind working overtime.

Merlin finally said, "As we pass through Stillwater, we should question the villagers to see if any of their children are missing. However, I have a feeling that they might have come from further away."

Arthur added, "We'll send an advance guard to Tudbrook tomorrow. Brian, take two knights and set up there and we'll join you when we can. Question everyone…leave no stone unturned. If we find the slavers, we want to be able to reunite the children with their families as soon as possible."

Arthur stood up and stretched and the others decided they'd turn in. Merlin put the pot back near the hearth. It still had food in it but his mind was otherwise occupied and he just left it there. He followed Arthur into the room and lay out the bedrolls next to each other. Arthur had removed his chain mail and belt and he lay down keeping his boots on. Merlin took off his jacket and his boots then noticing Arthur's said, "Lift your leg up, Lazy Bones, and I'll take them off. Gaius always says that you shouldn't sleep in your boots unless it's the winter as your feet need to breathe!"

"Yes, Mother!" said a sleepy Arthur.

Merlin sat beside him. "Dawn will be here before you know it. Have a goodnight's sleep, Arthur!" He ran his hand fondly down the side of Arthur's head and leaning over gave him a little kiss."

"Hold me…" said Arthur and Merlin did…

Merlin awoke knowing that they were not alone. He could hear noise in the main room, furtive movements and the sound of clinking which he attributed to something touching the pot he had left by the fire. He lay still and waited for further movement and then he was sure that he could hear whispering. He slipped himself away from Arthur who thankfully remained asleep; he rolled over, getting to his feet.

He moved slowly across the flagstones and peeked around the open door. Sitting by the hearth carefully holding the lid of the pot was a child, a little boy, beside him on his knees was another child who was scooping up the remainder of the stew with his fingers and feeding the little one. They were using signals so as not to speak but he distinctly heard the older boy say, "Ssh!"

Merlin stood silently in the doorway and smiled at the little lad who had suddenly noticed him. In all innocence, he smiled back and the older boy turned and glared at Merlin. Grabbing the younger boy to himself and wrapping his arms around him, the boy stared fiercely at Merlin but his body language showed defeat.

He whispered to the little one, "I'm sorry, Joby, I tried!" and he buried his head in the little one's neck.

Merlin quietly said, "Are you still hungry?" and he moved slowly to where he had piled the supplies and placed some pieces of pie further along on the hearth. The little one took it all in and reached out for the pie. The older boy said, "No, he'll only hurt us…"

Merlin squatted in front of the fire and spoke quietly, "Well," he said to the one called Joby, "You're a big strong boy, what's your name?"

The older child pulled him closer saying, "Don't say! Mam said never to tell a stranger your name or he has your soul…" but it was too late as the other child had already reached out for the cheese Merlin was offering him and said, "Joby!"

"Hello, Joby!" Merlin said softly and smiled. "I won't hurt either of you. We are here to save the children. None of the men here will hurt you. Where are you from?"

"How do we know that you won't make us scream like Barney?"

"Because you will have to trust that I am telling the truth. My name is Merlin and I'm here with Arthur. Are you still hungry?" The second child had started to pick at the younger boy's pie and Merlin handed him a piece for himself.

Merlin got up and crossed the room for his waterskin and gave it to Joby and was amused watching him, sucking away at it without upending it. He showed him how but would only let him have a small amount. He then offered it to the older boy and although he didn't get a smile, the child accepted it and took a drink.

"Now, I think we should go to sleep. We have to keep quiet because Arthur is asleep but there is a bedroll that you can sleep on." He stood up and put some more logs on the fire. He turned smiling and put out his hand and Joby took it and went with him into the room.

The other boy followed watching carefully that the man did nothing to the smaller one. Merlin pulled his bedroll away from Arthur who turned over and snored.

Joby giggled, "Is he going to be cross?"

"No, Arthur isn't like that…" The children sat on the bedroll. Merlin told them to lie close together and he was able to wrap it around the two of them. He then went back and putting his elbow in Arthur's side, shoved him over enough so that he could almost share the royal bedroll. He thought, 'Four accounted for, let's see how many more we can find?'


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13 : CHILDREN OF THE WOODS**

Merlin woke to Arthur running his hand under his tunic. "Merlin, you couldn't be more on my bedroll if you tried. Not that I'm complaining …have you been missing me that much?"

Arthur rolled himself onto Merlin who whispered, "Arthur, anymore noise and we will have an audience!"

Pulling back his head Arthur gave him a quizzical look, "Intruders?"

"Hardly, Look over here…"

Arthur moved off Merlin and looked against the wall. In a bedroll, no more than three feet away, Arthur could make out two small bodies.

"Dead?"

"No, very much alive…I found them cleaning out the cooking pot during the night. The little one is Joby and the bigger one, I haven't got his name yet. Think they're brothers, the way the older one behaves. Also, think that the younger dead boy might have been called Barney."

Merlin stood up, it was still darkish but he could make out both Arthur's and his boots. He picked them up and they walked into the main room, where Merlin added more wood to the fire, "Put them on it will keep your feet warm. I'm going to get water and make some porridge so we can leave on a full stomach. Try not to wake them, I don't want them running off before we get them back to their parents."

Arthur sat on a bench pulling on his boots, he never thought yesterday, that he would awake as a babysitter. Good thing, Rodick and Brian were still dead to the world or he would be the laughing stock of the group. He could have fetched the water and Merlin could have played nanny.

Rodick wandered out of his room and Arthur caught his eye and motioned with his finger to his lips that he should be as quiet as possible. The children hadn't yet awoken. Rodick wandered over and Arthur explained about their guests. Rodick's eyes opened wide and then he grinned, "Arthur the babysitter…?"

Arthur shook his head, "Just waiting for Merlin to fetch water, more like a gaoler really, so they don't take off."

By the time, Merlin had the oats cooked and ready to be served, two little sleepy heads were peeking out of the room at the four men. Arthur cleared his throat and nodded towards the door. Merlin looked up and said, "Good Morning, Joby! Did you sleep well, are you hungry?" Then he nodded at the older child and said, "Hello, are you alright?"

The smell of the porridge called to both children and they came over to see what was cooking, Merlin said, "Are you hungry and they nodded. "Here, you can have my bowl but you'll have to share the spoon is that alright?"

Joby looked at the bowl he was offered and said, "Look Carl, just like Mam makes us." The two of them settled on the hearth and tucked into the familiar food.

Merlin said, "These men are knights, this is Rodick and Brian and last but not least, we have Arthur." Arthur and the others didn't move but they all smiled at the children. Merlin sat beside Arthur and took the spoon out of his hand and started to eat out of Arthur's bowl.

Carl watched and said, "Is he your brother?"

Arthur smiled and said, "No! …thankfully!" Merlin dug him in the ribs.

"But you sleep with him?" Carl asked.

"Yes, when we are camping, we often all sleep together."

"That's like us at home, Mam and Da sleep in the bed with the baby and we all sleep on the floor in front of the fire. Don't we, Carl?"

"Yes!" said Carl more interested in scraping the bowl to get all the porridge.

Arthur stood to go outside as Merlin collected all the bowls and put them in the pot ready for it to be placed on the packhorse. Rodick and Brian collected their things and Merlin gathered the two bedrolls and other baggage and put them near the door.

Arthur called back to Merlin, "Just going into the woods."

Merlin said, "Take the boys, they probably need to go too, but don't lose them."

Arthur ushered the two of them around the back of the lodge and stood in front of a tree to relieve himself. "OK, boys, you too, pick any tree…" he said. Joby obeyed but Carl just hung back.

"Come on Carl, you too. We've a long ride ahead of us and we can't be stopping the whole time. Look at Joby, he did wonderfully, he's a clever boy…"

Joby looked up at Arthur and said, "But, he's not a him, he's a she, that's Car-ol!"

Arthur hastily pulled down his tunic and said, "We'll let Merlin deal with this, shall we?" and he marched the two youngsters back to the lodge.

Merlin was on the steps passing things to the groom to attach to the packhorse.

"Oh, Merlin!" he called in a sing song voice. "I have a job for you, Carl here is Carol and she didn't want 'to pick a tree'. You'd better take care of it."

Merlin smiled at the little girl's worried face and said, "You come with me, we'll find somewhere special for you." He put down his hand and Carol took it and happily followed Merlin. As he went around the corner, Merlin turned looked at Arthur and shook his head…

In no time, Merlin was back with Carol happily skipping beside him. Arthur looked up and realised sadly that if anyone should have had children it should have been Merlin.

Brian and the two guards were mounted and Arthur asked them to take the children with them to Tudbrook. Carol piped up, "Joby, we're going to see Mam and Da." Brian took Carol in front of him but Joby refused to go to either of the guards. In the end, Merlin took Joby in front of him and rode with Brian to Tudbrook.

He said seriously to Arthur as he left, "No unnecessary heroics…I expect to see you safe and sound before nightfall."

So saying, Merlin and Sir Brian followed by two of the guards, the groom and packhorse, left for Tudbrook carrying two special passengers.

-0-0-

Arthur made his way over to Rodick and the captain of the guards, they discussed their plans for the day. They would follow the tracks of the slave traders making periodic searches for any abandoned children. Slavers were notorious for abandoning children who had became hurt in the travels or whom they felt were not up to their requirements. Some depending upon their ages managed to finally reach home but others died of starvation or turned up in villages where they were taking in by other families.

The trail was easily followed by the number of tracks left by the wagon and accompanying riders. By noon, they had found the area where they had camped overnight and Arthur figured they were maybe two hours ahead of them. The wagon would keep the pace slow. Arthur decided that their group should take a short break to water and rest the horses.

Mounting up, they continued on the way glancing regularly for areas which seemed trampled possibly by little feet. Coming around the corner at a canter, they pulled up quickly as they were three children in the road, dazed and frightened. Rodick cut them off before they headed for the woods and Arthur dismounted and walked towards them.

"You're safe, we have soldiers with us and they will protect you."

The oldest of the little group seemed to be thirteen. He spoke up, "We escaped when the wagon tipped over but there are children trapped and hurt." He wiped the blood away from a gash on his head.

Rodick, now also dismounted.

"Captain, get help for these boys," said Arthur as he noticed that some of them were injured. "Someone bandage this boy's head."

He then turned to the boy who had spoken and asked him to show him where the wagon had tipped. "Do we need to go on horseback? The boy nodded, so Rodick pulled him up behind him and said, "Hang on to me, arms around my waist…"

Leaving the other two with a guard and some food from their saddle bags, Arthur let the older boy directed them further on the trail for maybe another two miles. The terrain was getting hilly and there were boulders. The trail had narrowed with a drop off one side and the woods rising steeply on the other. Arthur saw the damaged trees first and rode Mulgan to the edge of the track. He gasped, below him was the upended wagon with two horses. It had slipped off the road, he drew his sword but the boy said that the men had all ridden off and left them even though the older boys had asked them to help them free the trapped children.

The group dismounted and slid down the steep cliff to the wagon. Once down there, they could see some bodies but as they talked they heard voices of children calling for help. The wagoner was dead as were the two horses, one with a broken neck and the other seemed to have bled to death.

Arthur told the boy who turned out to be called Harry, to talk to the other children, finding out how many were there and if any were hurt. He knelt down and tried to see any bodies that were moving. He had the guards, remove the bodies of children who had been thrown from the wagon on impact, placing them a slight distance away, under a fir tree.

It wasn't an easy job to move the wagon as it must have rolled a couple of times by the look of the trees around it. So that they wouldn't further hurt any children, the guards lifted one side and wedged it with logs and boulders. Ideally, they wanted to raise it off the ground and shimmy under to reach the children.

Arthur stomach turned as he saw one child had been pinned by the neck. He was dead as were the two boys beside him on whom the side of the wagon had landed. The soldiers pulled out the bodies and one of them smiled as a hand further in had grabbed his and refused to let it go. He lay on his stomach and shimmied forward talking to the child. He got hold of his elbows and managed to drag him out. "Jeddy's in there too and so is Buzzy but he's not talking anymore."

As the wagon was lifted Arthur could see that the little boy Buzzy was not going to make it. A guard lifted him up. As the pressure of the wagon had been lifted off him, he had started haemorrhaging from a wound in his chest. Already he was gasping for air and Rodick stepped forward and took the boy out of the guard's arms and cradled him as you would a baby, bending his head over him and whispering to him.

He looked at Arthur but Arthur just shook his head and Rodick, turned walking to a large oak tree. He sat, placing the boy between his legs, cradling his head against his chest, holding him in his arms until he gave his last gasp. Tears were streaming down Rodick's face as he continued to rock the child whispering to him.

Arthur could see Merlin years ago, sitting in that same position, cradling a young squire who had an arrow through his chest. Merlin holding him, talking to the boy who as a page had almost been his personal guide when he had first arrived in Camelot and got lost continually. Little Daffyd who idolised him, little Daffyd, Sir Rodick's younger brother.

Arthur came back to the present catching Rodick's words, "I'm sorry, I wasn't there for you, Daffyd, forgive me!"

Arthur was strong as were all the knights but they were men, many fathers and brothers and senseless deaths in the young affected them. Arthur had never experienced the love for a sibling but he could understand the loss of a child.

Slowly, the wagon was levered up by inches and one young guard offered to crawl under to see if there were any more children or bodies.

One of the guards carrying a body over to the fir tree yelled, "Sire! Over here!" Arthur went over and hiding in the bracken, he found two more children one very much alive, hanging onto another one with a broken leg.

Arthur knelt down and remembering Gaius, he said, gently, "… and whom do we have here?"

"This is Bill and I'm Wulf. We're friends…is he going to wake up soon?"

Arthur put his hand on the boy's neck and could feel a pulse. "Yes, I think he will but we need to get him up to the road." He thought, 'Hopefully, before regaining consciousness, until he was away from this awful place.'

"Harry, where there no older boys with the group?"

"Yes, about eight but the men made them go with them."

Rodick now in control of himself, came over and told Arthur that as a result of finding the last two boys, the guards would be making a sweep of the area for any other children who had crawled or walked away from the wagon. Arthur nodded.

The young guard named Nate, rounded up all the children and had them say their names. Arthur looked at Harry but decided against having him identify the dead, planning to let the parents do that. Slowly the little group of four children followed Nate and Harry up to the road, Arthur and Rodick carrying any children who were having problems. There were a few broken bones, gashes and scratches. A few seemed bewildered so Arthur made everyone hold hands. They now had two children with Merlin, two further back on the road, four with them plus Harry. Arthur wasn't sure how many had died. The sweep of the area turned up no more children.

Rodick suggested that the guards make their way immediately to Stillwater, requesting two wagons, blankets and some food. Arthur nodded, by now Merlin's group would have been to Stillwater so they would know about the slave traders even if there were no children missing from the village.

They had found nine children alive and probably even more dead…

-0-0-

Merlin had been to Stillwater and notified them that there were slavers in the area. He had also bought some lunch for Joby and Carol. The men had an ale at the pub, then they remounted and made their way to Tudbrook.

The country was lovely, rolling hills in the background and a flat valley which enabled them to make good time. Carol began to get excited as she recognised landmarks and kept telling Sir Brian stories of various families who lived near them.

"Turn here," she suddenly said, "We live on this side of the river and this is a short cut. So the four horses took the shortcut, even though at one point the men had to dismount and lead them; the children never realising that horses and riders could not always get through thickets as easily as people can.

Soon the kids were yelling and screaming, "Mam, Da, we're here!" and the trees cleared to reveal a little village spread on both banks of a river. A dog ran out of one of the cottages barking and soon the children were being grasped by a crying women. Seeing the knight and guards, she pulled back but as Merlin dismounted, Carol ran back to grab his hand and bring him to her mother.

A group of villagers surrounded the visitors asking about their children. Nine children had been taken from the village in the raid and three adults had been killed. Sir Brian explained that others knights and guards were following the traders and soon they should have more news.

Slowly the parents returned to their homes but not before Joby had informed everyone that one of the knights called Arthur had peed against a tree and he had too but not Carol because she couldn't and that Merlin had looked after her.

"Get off with you!" said his mother cuffing him affectionately across the back of the head. She then turned to Merlin saying "Thank you!"

"We thought she was a boy up to that moment."

"Well, I was doing the washing and her skirt was in such a mess that I made her take it off and put on her big brother's trousers."

Brian forded the river and made arrangements at the inn for a room for the night and food. Carol's and Joby's mother offered to feed him and Merlin but they refused as food was not plentiful. Other villagers came round to know if their missing children had been found but Merlin sadly couldn't help them.

-0-0-

Rodick and the remaining guard stayed with the four children on the road above the overturned wagon. Harry rode double with Arthur who took him back to the other group. The children soon felt comfortable with Rodick and Nate and a few were chatting away quite happily.

Harry riding double with Arthur was excited. He said, "Wait 'til I tell my brother Barney what I've done, he'll be so cross that it wasn't him…" and Arthur's stomach clenched as he realised the brother he was talking about was possibly the child Merlin had found near the stream at the lodge.

Arthur realised that there was no way that they would reach Tudbrook that evening. They would spend the night at the lodge. The wagons finally arrived, the food was unloaded but the blankets stayed in the wagon as the afternoon was getting cooler. A guard led the villagers' wagons further on to pick up the two groups of children and the other would be used to collect the bodies.

The little lodge was packed for the night. Food was cooked and all the children finally fell asleep. Few slept right through and Rodick kept the fire going so that none of them were too scared. There were nightmares and Arthur was only to happy to see the sun creeping over the trees. He wondered if Merlin had slept well. He had three children who had wanted to sleep with him because they were frightened. Four guards, one knight, one prince and seven children, it was like a school camping trip.

-0-0-

Merlin finally realised that Arthur's party was not returning. He sat with Brian until finally deciding to turn in. There was only a communal room and he unrolled his bedroll on a cot, praying that Arthur and Rodick were safe. Brian said, "He has Rodick and four guards, he should be safe."

However, Merlin always worried if he didn't have Arthur in his line of vision especially when trouble was involved.

By mid-morning, Brian had the lists of names and ages of the missing children and also had met up with a father from another village looking for his son and two nephews. Merlin couldn't hazard a guess as to when the others would arrive but just after lunch, Arthur and a guard came cantering in. Arthur explained about the two wagons and told the villagers to expect the first wagon by supper time.

A few of the fathers left to meet the wagons, the lucky ones would be returning with the first wagon but for some the journey would be bittersweet as they could have children among the dead, the missing…and the living.

Arthur was exhausted and Merlin persuaded him to have something to eat. He laughed saying, "Merlin, I've only every cuddled with you, up to now but let me tell you, that having three children trying to share my bedroll was an experience. They only wanted to be with Rodick and me, utter bedlam. How parents manage with large families, I'll never know!"

"Guess the bigger brothers and sisters help. Look how well Carol looked after Joby. By the way, the whole village knows about you and the tree, Joby insisted telling everybody. But not to worry as they think you're only a knight, wait, till they find out who you really are…!"

Arthur grinned and put his arm briefly across Merlin's shoulders as a knight might to a servant but said quietly, "I'm so glad Merlin, that you are not my brother. That would have been a cruel punishment!"

"Yes, but just think of the fun we could have had growing up. Poor Gaius, we would have sent him to an early grave."

"Mind you, Prince Merlin Pendragon has a nice ring to it don't you think?"

"That's a bit presumptuous, Arthur, you might have been Arthur from Ealdor…No, thank you, I'm very happy with Merlin, Friend and Lover."

Arthur laughed and said, "I'm also extremely pleased with that…!"

Finally, the news came, that the wagon had arrived. It was full of children and some of the men from the village. Three children came from Tudbrook. Sadly, the little boy found near the stream was Harry's brother and his father hugged his wife as she wept over her lost son, clinging onto her thirteen year old Harry at the same time. A total of five children had been returned alive to Tudbrook. Three older boys were still missing and hopefully, given an opportunity they might be able to escape and return by themselves.

Three other children were recognised by another man as belonging to a neighbouring village and one little boy with a broken arm was claimed by no one. The headman of the village took him in promising that he would find the boy's family and return him safely to them. His wife was very motherly with the lad who seemed in a daze, reacting to anyone who showed him kindness.

Joby was very excited seeing Arthur again especially as he put him on his shoulders and carried him back to his mother, who smiled and shook her head when Joby again mentioned the tree!

"Sir Knight, you were very kind to look after my children, I have nothing that I can give you to show my thanks."

Arthur swung Joby down saying, "You just make sure that this boy grows up to be a good man…" then noticing Carol, he beamed and said "…and that young miss, grows into a good woman like yourself."

The mother beamed with tears in her eyes, "Thank you, kind Sir!"

Merlin grinned hugging Carol and as they walked away, he said, "Sire, you have made a fan for life." Arthur punched him in his arm.

The second wagon was staying in Stillwater over night and would arrive the following morning.

Arthur, Brian, Rodick and Merlin ate a late supper at the inn and stayed talking in the main room about the mission. The bandits had escaped but they had saved some children who would have otherwise died. They had also brought sadness to many families who would at least know that their children were at peace.

Rodick said, "Arthur, you should consider leaving tomorrow to continue your journey to Ealdor. Merlin probably wants to spend a few days there before having to return to Camelot. Don't you Merlin?"

Replying for Merlin and himself, Arthur said, "I think, we should really stay until, the parents are reunited with their dead children. They will be buried later in the day and then we can plan to leave the following morning. I will then leave you in charge of the mission. The guards can have the day off and then make the journey back and you'll be back in Camelot in two days.

It was decided that Merlin and Arthur would leave the next day but one for Ealdor and that same day, the knights, guards and groom would leave for Camelot where Rodick would make the reports to the king and council and Arthur would join them a few days later, in time to celebrate Romney and Mathilda's wedding.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14 : LOFTY MOUNTAIN GRANDEUR**

As planned, two days later, the groups parted company, Merlin's horse carrying the various supplies for his mother. Arthur and he still intended to take the pass through the hills and hoped that the weather cooperated. Day one, the weather was lovely, bright and sunny. The countryside was perfect for riding, flat open spaces for cantering and cool leafy tunnels where they seemingly trotted for hours.

They stopped around noon, near a slow moving river. After watering the horses, they had lunch and rechecked the maps. Arthur had a snooze and Merlin managed to catch a couple of trout. He gutted them and brought them up the bank to Arthur. He dragged one of them across Arthur's face and got little reaction. He then got a branch and tied one of them to it. He sat further away and let its tail tickle Arthur's ear. Arthur grabbed it and still half asleep clasped it to his chest.

Merlin walked over and said, "Arthur, time to get up if we want to reach the hills today. Arthur still clinging to the fish stretched and opened his eyes. Realising that he was holding something, he looked up. He dropped it and it landed on his chest.

Grinning, Merlin said, "Flying fish, Arthur, sounds good for supper, no?"

"Just you wait, Merlin, I will now have around four hours to plan a just punishment for that action. Be afraid, Merlin! Be very afraid!"

Merlin laughed, picked up the fish wrapped them in leaves and added them to his saddle bag. "Ah, but, Arthur, I will also be able to plan my evasive action," and he blew Arthur a kiss before tightening up Gidun's girth prior to mounting.

Slowly they started the climb to the pass. The weather had cooled slightly. The track was excellent; the footing was good and the lay of the land slightly rolling. They had decided to take their time, having frequent breaks as after all, they were officially on holiday.

Merlin looked at Arthur and grinned. He would have plenty on his plate once he returned to Camelot, the wedding; the knights' investiture ceremony; Arthur's thirtieth birthday and the tournament. The king would be expecting his son to be actively involved in all the events.

Arthur smiled back at Merlin, time spent alone with Merlin, away from his responsibilities, helped Arthur keep everything in perspective. Even three days gave him the time to recharge. Visiting Ealdor, was different, the villagers knew him, he was just considered Hunith's son's friend. He always looked forward to returning and by taking a genuine interest in this little group of people, he was able to offer support to the families. This would be his first visit to them, now that they were officially residents of Camelot.

Merlin interrupted his thoughts, "You can see how the land is rising on either side of us. By the condition of the trail, this route is well travelled, was there any mention of a hamlet on this side of the pass?"

"Don't think so, as we would have considered it for an overnight stop."

"Maybe, there's a proper cave that is not like that funny crevice with an overhang, we stayed in with Gawaine. I still have to laugh, how I got my way, sleeping sandwiched between two knights...me, the loyal servant, warm and safe...!"

"Well, with all your complaining, you didn't really give us much opportunity to do anything else, did you?"

"Ah but, Arthur, where would we be if I hadn't given you that little nudge..."

A deer ran across their path; Arthur's eyes lit up. Merlin grinned at him saying, "You're incorrigible. I'm sure that if a deer ran through our chambers, you would abandon me regardless of what we were doing!"

"Well, I might certainly have a momentary lapse of attention but realise on second thought that you are 'dear' enough for me. Get it, Merlin, a deer and you, dear!"

Merlin grinned, "You almost ended up staying alone tonight...if not for your ease of squeezing out of trouble, which will hold you in good stead when you take the throne."

They reached a flat area and Arthur put Mulgan into a canter followed closely by Merlin and Gidun. Slowly, the trees were getting thicker and masking the view of their climb. The streams on the sides of the track in some places were becoming water falls. They came to a well travelled trail and checked the map but it was not the one they wanted to follow so they climbed higher on a track which was by its condition noticeably less travelled. Through gaps in the trees, they were able to see the flat areas below them.

The horses were tiring, so they dismounted and walked them for a while, then the land levelled out again and they took another break. They tied the horses to a tree after watering them in the little stream which flowed down the hillside. The sun had come out again and it was warmer.

Merlin got his waterskin and filled it doing the same with Arthur's. He hooked them over the saddles and went to join Arthur sitting against a boulder contemplating the stream. "You know, Merlin, if we used rocks, we could build a waterfall in the gardens behind the castle."

"Good idea but you would have to reroute a stream to keep the water flowing down the falls."

"No, I thought you could maybe stand there with a bucket and when it was full, then you could walk up to the top and empty it and the water could cascade down again."

"Sounds good to me, mind you, you would have to take care of all your clothes, your food and your chambers. Think it over and let me know in a couple of hours. I would also probably be of little use to you at night as I would be exhausted walking up and down the hill. But, let me know, as I'm sure that I could find someone to your liking!"

Arthur pulled him to him and ran his hand down Merlin's back making him shiver. He put his hands on either side of his head and kissed his forehead, then pulled away and leaned back again.

"That's it…?" Merlin said, "Well, I was expecting a little more than that…" and he pulled Arthur towards him and quite explicitly showed him what he had been expecting.

Merlin leant against Arthur who put his arms around him. "We really should get moving, I'd like to get further on before we call it a night."

Standing, Merlin pulled Arthur up next to him and said, "Should I still be afraid, very afraid?"

"Yes, I think so!" Merlin just looked at him and laughed.

After one quite steep and shale covered section where they had to lead the horses, they could see above them through the sparse trees, the opening which was the pass. "Let's get away from this shale and find a level area to camp. Sadly, I haven't seen anything remotely like a cave."

Finally, they found a little patch of grass, just off the track. There were big boulders everywhere and a fire could be built between them and they would act as a windbreak. Merlin said, "I'll be back…" and he set off into the woods."

Merlin returned and said, "There's some sort of building a little further up the track. I think it would make a good place to stay. Leave the horses here and if we decide to stay there, I'll come back for them."

The building was interesting to say the least. It had been built into a hill and dug out. The roof seemed to be resting directly on the ground but in reality it was raised by irregular boulders which formed thick walls about three feet in height. It was in fair shape and Arthur decided it had at one point been a hermit's home but now, that it was more likely used as a travellers' shelter or refuge. He was quite happy to stay there, so Merlin went back to get the horses, leaving Arthur trying to light a fire.

He made his way back to the refuge and Arthur was still fiddling with the flint and muttering about the damned fire. Merlin stood to one side, closed his eyes and thought, '_Exsitas flamma et fummus!' _smiling at the look on Arthur's face as a thin spiral of blue smoke and little flames rose from the dried bark and leaves that he had been working on for the longest time, while swearing intermittently.

"See Arthur, you could camp by yourself, you can make fire and find shelter."

"Well, I don't see, how you can always get it to catch so fast. It's darn difficult."

"That's alright, I will give you private lessons once life settles down. We could build fires in all the fireplaces in the palace, actually we could start a business you and I…Fires R Us!" Merlin dropped the saddle bags and other luggage on the earthen floor.

Arthur smiled to himself, he wasn't too sure about the business but he knew that Merlin was the spark in his life.

Supper was fresh fish, bread and ale. They sat outside the refuge until it became dark. The fire gave an orange glow to the little room and Merlin spread out their sleeping rolls and they lay down.

Merlin smiled into the dark as he felt Arthur's hand on him and he realised that of all the people in the world whom he would meet over his lifetime, not one would hold a candle to the Crown Prince of Camelot. He turned snuggling into him as Arthur whispered his favourite words, "I love you!"

There was a rustling in the corner of the room and a little badger poked its head from between two boulders, as it left to hunt. Neither of the human occupants of the refuge was conscious that they had company.

Arthur got up in the night and went outside, he was pleasantly surprised to see that the moon was bright and realised that over the next few days, they would have a full moon. There was something about the moon which brought Merlin to mind. He remembered the shaft of moonlight in which Merlin had stood as a silvered statue. There was much about Merlin to which only Arthur was privy and yet every now and again he felt that he was missing something and that his lover was more complex than he realised. He smiled at the moon and left to return to his arms…

-0-0-

They were awoken by the birds. The badger had long since returned and was dead to the world in its set, only the slight movement of its side showing that it was still alive. Merlin heard one of the horses stamping but Arthur had no intention of letting him leave, "Merlin, you're always complaining about having to get up early to fetch my food. We don't have to get up yet and I believe, that I can think of a few matters that need to be attended to before we do."

"Yes, Sire!"

"Well, I would like a little cooperation from you."

"But, Arthur, it is not my job to plan the morning's activities…"

"Don't know, when that has ever stopped you!" and Arthur started to smile as Merlin decided that maybe he should take advantage of the offer and make his master's day!

The second time, he woke up it was bright outside and Merlin decided that maybe he would take full advantage of being on holiday and pulling his blanket over his head, snuggled back into Arthur.

Finally, Gidun was fed up, he wanted to have some oats and hit the road. He kept nickering. Merlin then felt guilty, both horses needed to be untied, watered and fed. He also needed to check their legs and feet after yesterday's climb.

"Arthur, I'm getting up as I intend to get through the pass today and then we'll be closer to Ealdor and Mam." He knelt and whipped Arthur's blanket off him, "Get up, now or face the consequences…"

Not liking the sound of that threat Arthur opened his eyes and Merlin knelt over him and gave him a kiss. "See, good things happen to obedient people." Arthur then grabbed him and Merlin was once again on his bedroll. "Arthur, we really do have to leave."

…and leave they finally did. Merlin insisting that they had missed breakfast, threw Arthur a chunk of bread to keep him going.

-0-0-

The further they continued, the rockier it became and the vegetation changed to rowan, scraggly pine and ground cover. In some areas, they could look back and see the valley they had crossed.

Merlin said, "We are going to run out of mountain before we reach the pass. Do you think the trail is still passable?"

"There are still hoof prints ahead of us, we'll keep going until it's no longer safe to continue. The horses don't do well on shale and I don't intend to risk injuries as we can always backtrack." He smiled to himself as he said, "It'll just take me longer to get you home!"

Merlin grinned, "Always the head of the strategic commands division, yet if I have to trust Gidun and myself to anyone…it would have to be you."

"So, you don't trust yourself when you make decisions."

"Believe me Arthur, I have absolute confidence in any decisions I make, however sometimes, allowing someone else to take the initiative, can not only be entertaining but also very satisfying!"

"You, Merlin, have a one track mind."

"Why...what did I say?"

"Sometimes, it is not so much what you say as what you don't say…"

Merlin turned and looked over his shoulder giving Arthur a suggestive grin. If the footing had been better, Arthur would have pushed Gidun out of the way to get at Merlin, instead, he said, "Hold that thought for when we reach the pass…"

They continued leading the horses and arrived at a moderately flat area. They had climbed as far as they had to, ahead of them the hills seemed to fold and a path no more than a single track could be seen curving around the mountain side. Merlin knew that he would feel safer to have the horses back on the dirt track but they had some way to go before reaching it.

"Let's stop to give the horses a break and then make a push across the last stony section and get them to better footing," said Arthur.

Merlin loosened the girths and told both horses that he was proud of them. "We should have called you Tenzing and Hillary."

"Now, what rot are you talking? Hilary is a girl's name and both of our horses are boys. Maybe the altitude has affected your mind."

Merlin said, "I'll have you know those names will be honoured by people who climb mountains!"

"You should have been working with Geoffrey as like him, you have an excess of information floating around in your brain."

"Are you perchance insinuating that I am brighter that you are? I never thought that you'd ever acknowledge it! Thank you, Arthur, from the bottom of my heart. Should I be expecting a public declaration of said fact when we return to Camelot? Gaius would be so proud and Gawaine, well he would probably give me a hug and..."

"Merlin! I might just decide to leave you and your superior mental capacity up here and visit Ealdor by myself."

"My Mam wouldn't like that…"

"Oh, I'm sure she would because she actually likes me better than she likes you!"

"I beg to differ…"

"That's good, practice begging, it might come in useful tonight!" Arthur smiled and stood up saying, "If we're going to get to that other path, we'd better leave now. I think we still have to go on foot for a little while. Be careful, Gidun doesn't knock you over as he slides down the shale sections."

"Arthur, Gidun is a real gentleman of a horse, more that I can say for the tank which you ride."

"How does two weeks of mucking out sound? It's about time that you returned to a real job."

"Fine, as long as I will be relieved of certain other duties, Arthur!"

"You're asking for it Merlin!"

"So, Arthur, and are you offering...?

-0-0-

It took them another couple of hours walking beside the horses, to negotiate the shale and pebbles and realised that they were actually in the pass, another couple of difficult hours of descent lay ahead but then they should reach more ground cover with rough grass making it easier for the horses.

"I don't think that I have ever been this high." Merlin said

"It's quite spectacular, nothing for miles around and everything is so quiet."

The only birds seen were a couple of harriers and a tiercel. It circled over them but lost interest just as quickly. Merlin said, "Why don't you have a tiercel in the mews? There are many around and they are quite attractive?"

"Never entered my mind, the king had the gyrfalcons and I was more interested in merlins but I did have a nice pair of goshawks. Now, I have little time to devote to anything but one little merlin to whom I am quite attached."

Merlin laughed over his shoulder. The trail was now descending. And as Gidun tried to negotiate a rather steep section of the hill, he slipped and sat on his haunches sliding down until he skidded into some gorse. Merlin let him go but also slid on the gravel and ended up making a not too glamorous descent on his backside.

Shaking his head, Arthur gave Mulgan his head and stepped aside. He knew that the horse would not trample Merlin and would only go as far as Gidun who was quite happily picking at a few blades of grass growing amidst the gorse. Mulgan seemed to be doing alright but then his rear legs lost their grip and he too slid to the bottom of the gravelled incline.

Merlin was on his feet, brushing off his pants, watching to see how Arthur was going to negotiate the section. Arthur's boots would give him less traction than Merlin's as they would be more likely to slide. Slowly Arthur managed to get halfway down without mishap and then he started to loose forward momentum and ended up like Merlin doing the last twenty feet on his derriere.

"We'll never be able to get back up there," said Merlin as he checked Gidun's legs.

Arthur ran his hand over Mulgan's hocks and rump but there was no blood and although there might be little bruises from the impact, he walked out sound. "Don't intend to, we've done the worse part and we should do fine once we're on the other side."

Mounted or led was Merlin's next comment and Arthur said that maybe for a little while they should still walk with the horses and get on when the footing was safer. It took them nearly an hour to reach the more solid earthen track and by then, Merlin decided that they might as well take a break. There was a little waterfall beside the track and Merlin watered the horses and again checked to see that they had sustained no damage from their ungainly descent.

Arthur started laughing, "Merlin, I do believe that you will have to have your mother make some repairs on your trousers. I have the distinct impression that I can see your bum!"

Merlin shrugged saying, "Nothing new in that!" and reached for a saddle bag with some supplies and they had a late lunch.

It was certainly more pleasant riding on good footing. There were no hoof prints ahead of them but it was obviously a trail.

Soon, they had high hills on either side of them and as the sun began to set over the hills in the valley ahead of them, they decided to call it a day and start looking for a suitable to camp.

Arthur saw the cave first but it was above them and it would mean climbing from the trail. "I've had enough climbing for the day, let's just look for a glen or some sheltered area." Arthur nodded his head and they continued on the trail. Within the next mile, they had found an area against the hill surrounded with boulders and the trace of a fire pit.

"Want to be the lighter of the fire tonight, Arthur?" said Merlin as he un-tacked the horses.

"No, you go ahead, I'll get some wood and then you can do the honours." Arthur started to gather twigs and dried bark as kindling and by the time Merlin had got back from the horses, he had it all laid out in the pit.

"O.K., get to work! Let's see those magic fingers fly and give us a spark."

Merlin's head snapped up but Arthur obviously meant nothing by it as he had already begun to pick up larger branches to feed the fire. Soon, they had a good blaze going and Merlin brought over a pot and started to prepare something for supper.

Merlin intended to keep the fire going all night as it was cool. They were both exhausted and they just spent a little time talking when Arthur realised that Merlin was fast asleep. He put his arm over him and pulled his head under his chin, thinking, 'Doubt that the fire will see more wood tonight…' and soon he was also fast asleep.

True to his word, Merlin did keep the fire going and when Arthur woke in the early hours of the morning, it was blazing merrily and the Keeper of the Fire was snuggled against him. He could see the outlines of the horses and he knew that everything was well with the world and he fell…

_He was so high up and petrified. His legs wouldn't obey him and he knew that he had to take one small step and then jump ahead as the ledge had crumbled away in that section. He couldn't do it; he had no confidence in his ability and the more he looked down the worse it became. _

_He felt that someone was behind him, advancing rapidly without knowing the condition of the trail. He needed time to figure out what he had to do but the advancing footsteps were confusing him._

_Suddenly a voice right behind him called, "Coming through…" and he panicked. He had to move so he jumped and he hit the next section on his knees, he grabbed at the path but the rocks turned to shale and ran through his hands. His was finally hanging on by his fingers and the person behind him stepped over the crumbling trail and continued on his way followed by at least ten men in red cloaks, all striding confidently above his head._

_His fingers were scrabbling to keep hold and he could imagine himself falling. The rock, he was holding came loose and he knew he was falling. He thought, 'Sorry, Merlin!' and let himself go._

_He was twisting and turning but never hit the ground as a tiercel swooped under him and carried his away. He was conscious that it was accompanied by another falcon. He relaxed as he recognised the call of a merlin nearby. The valley floor was coming closer but the sense of flying made everything else of little importance._

_Soon they were among the trees and the tiercel slowed and landed in a giant fir; Arthur slid off its back and wedged himself against the trunk, straddling a bough. The bird flew away and he looked about him and thought, 'Oh, shit!' He was now sitting, high in a massive fir tree and he had to figure a way of reaching the ground in one piece. He could feel the scaly bark against his back and the soft pine needles against his cheeks…then he heard a sound…_

_He realised that it was a merlin laughing and he truthfully knew, that in all his days with them, he'd never heard that sound. It was comforting and took away all his anxiety and he relaxed, brushing the pine needles away from his face…_

…and then he heard a Merlin laugh…

He forced his eyes open and saw pine needles, looking further he saw a twig, an arm and a face, he grinned saying, "One day, Merlin, you are going to be the death of me…"

"Never!" he said throwing the pine branch in the direction of the fire. "Good Morning, my Handsome One!" he said and kissed him…


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15 : A GIFT THOUGH SMALL IS PRECIOUS**

They made good time, once they got on the trial. Taking time to look at the map. they realised if it were correct, they could be in Ealdor by dinner which Arthur decided that they should take with them and planned to get a couple of rabbits. He wasn't lucky but he did get a pheasant and a grouse so they would arrive bearing food.

The trail was easy and soon they arrived in a hamlet. Merlin offered to stop if Arthur wanted some ale but he shook his head quite happy to continue until they were closer to Ealdor. He had to laugh as Merlin was becoming more animated by the mile.

"It's already seven months since I last saw her. I wish she would come and stay in Camelot for the winter. Gaius is quite happy for her to take over my room and I know they get on alright."

"Merlin, if Hunith decided she wanted to come, I could always find her a chamber in the castle or if she preferred a little house in Camelot. There is no end to the possibility of available accommodation. She has only to say but you and I both know, that she is quite happy in her own home. She has a busy life and obviously enjoys it there.

"You are looking at it from an outsider now. You, my dear friend have become accustomed to living high off the hog and the hectic pace of city life…and not to be forgotten the attraction of a prince!"

"Nice to see your equating yourself to a hog but city life is a bit of a stretch even for our lovely town of Camelot."

Reaching the next village, they took a break; the inn provided a ploughman's lunch, cheese, pickled onion, pork pie and a good sized mug of ale. Merlin brought it outside and they sat with the horses, watching the day to day life of the village. It was market day and Merlin wandered the stalls returning with a cured ham, beeswax candles and a stoneware jug of local cider.

They mounted and continued to Ealdor. They arrived at dusk and Merlin rode ahead to greet his mother. She had placed a welcoming candle in the window of her cottage and as soon as she heard horses, she opened the door and ran outside. Merlin wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground, swinging her around. Arthur dismounted to the sound of "Put me down, before you drop me," and he laughed. He felt a love for Hunith sweep over him as he watched the affection between mother and son.

He was the next to be hugged and he realised that besides Merlin and Gaius he had few people who would ever hug him. As a child, he had had to learn how to hug in return. He rocked Hunith side to side and the two of the laughed.

They stood there looking at each other still holding hands, "Looking at my son, I can tell that you are taking good care of him," she said.

Merlin interrupted, "Excuse me, I am the caregiver in this relationship. Ask him, who takes care of his wardrobe, reminds him of scheduled meeting, serves his food, puts up with his grumpy moods, saves his life and gives him all the love he can handle!"

He winked at his Mam, who said, "Merlin, you'll have me blushing…"

"Now, I know where he gets it from!" said Arthur. "I can make him blush just by glancing at him. Either, he has a guilty conscience or he is thinking about the same thing I am."

"Yes, mostly when your comments or actions are inappropriate for the company in which we find ourselves."

"Don't believe him, Hunith, I am a paragon of decorum… "

"Not counting the time, Gaius caught us…" Arthur laughingly grabbed Merlin and clamped his hand over his mouth.

"Merlin, discretion is the better part of valour and I think your Mam gets the general idea."

Hunith laughed, shook her head saying, "Did you have any supper yet? I ate early as I am waiting for a call as Mary Biddle is due tonight. I'll be staying over and will see you in the morning."

"We brought plenty of food with us and tomorrow we can have roast pheasant, as proof of Arthur's hunting skills…"

Hunith eyes lit up, living alone she seldom went hunting but sometimes in return for her services, did receive fresh game. For her, a change in diet was always enjoyable.

Merlin left to take care of the horses and bring in the supplies and their bedrolls. He pulled out cheese, some extra pieces of pork pie and opened the jug of cider. "We're fine with this but if you have any plum preserves and bread…that would be great." He got Hunith's mug and added it to their two on the table.

Hunith got the jam, also puting an extra log on the fire and sat with them as they ate. Merlin never stopped talking; he had so much for her to hear. He touched briefly on their time in Tudbrook but it was the trip over the pass which held her enthralled.

"But, no one has been over there in years, since the landslide took away all the grassy slopes."

Arthur grinned saying, "Don't let on to Mulgan and Gidun, as they slid down on their haunches and your expertise as a seamstress if going to be needed to stitch up the seat of Merlin's pants…"

"I'm fine, Mam, but the descent was faster in one area, than I had expected." That statement resulted a laugh from Arthur and Hunith.

There was a knock on the door and a little girl came in. She smiled when she saw Merlin and Arthur; Hunith's visitors had arrived. She said, "Grandma said that you should come now…"

Hunith stood up and said, "Right with you, Dear!" and picking up a basket, called over her shoulder, "I'm trusting the two of you that there will still be a cottage standing here when I come back tomorrow." With that she took the little girl's hand and said, "Come along, Peggy Love, let's see if you are going to have a new sister or another brother."

Merlin grinned, "That's what she used to say to Will and me when she left us alone in the cottage. This will be the first time in all the times that we've returned to Ealdor, that we have had the place to ourselves." He walked over and put another log on the fire and turning to Arthur with a shy grin said, "Should I plan the evening's entertainment?"

"No, I think we should rearrange all the furniture as a surprise and maybe …" said Arthur, "…but no, on second thought, I'll leave the decision up to you as it seems to me that an early night might just be what we both need!"

Merlin smiled to himself as he put away all the provisions, they had brought. He carried the woven rush mat out of his mother's room and Arthur placed their bedrolls on it. Hunith's bedroom consisted of a single cot and from experience they knew that they would prefer bedrolls in front of the fire.

It was nice to lie down somewhere familiar. Merlin glanced at the ceiling; it looked exactly the same as it had during his childhood, when he had slept in front of the fire. The only difference now was that he was not alone and taking advantage of the situation he raised himself on one elbow and looked down at Arthur who was smiling up at him…

"How about _Chapter: LI, Page: XXXI, Subsection: VII?"_

Arthur smiled, "Merlin, the compendium never had fifty-one chapters…"

"Well, then, My Love, you will have to trust me and pay special attention…won't you, Arthur?" and he ran his finger over Arthur's lower lip. Arthur reached for him but Merlin had other plans...

-0-0-

Merlin woke before dawn and lay there thinking. Roughly twelve years ago, he had lain in front of this same hearth, worrying. Would he like Gaius or more importantly would Gaius like him? Was he making the right choice? Should he leave his Mam alone? Would he ever make any friends? Would the townspeople make fun of his countrified ways? Would he even be able to find Camelot? Would his Mam welcome him home again if it didn't work out?

He smiled; he'd been scared of the unknown but also very excited; a real town, a castle, king and knights, a court physician. He remembered that he hadn't fallen asleep until the sky was lightening. Then he'd the hardest time to get up when his Mam had called him.

Arthur turned and he felt him against him…and now, he was in front of the same hearth. He loved Gaius and knew that Gaius felt the same way. He'd made the right choice. His Mam had managed and was happy. He realised that if ever he had decided to return home he would have been welcomed with open arms. Yes, some people had made fun of him, he smiled, especially one rather obnoxious young man, but he had been made to feel welcomed and he knew he had some wonderful friends both old and young…and he had found not only Camelot but love…

He shifted so that he could look at the man beside him. He had found his place in the world, beside someone he loved with his whole being; a man not without faults but who was faithful, endearing, understanding and brave. Often opinionated but not that he couldn't wind him around his little finger when necessary. A man who besides being groomed to be a great king, had become under his tutelage a lover extraordinaire.

With that thought in mind, he waited and the next time Arthur stirred, he spoke quietly to him, letting his fingers waken him slowly and when he saw, the eyelids flutter and his lips curve into a smile, he whispered, "Arthur, we have time…!"

-0-0-

When Hunith came back around noon, the place was tidy and a note on the table explained that they were visiting the village elders and had been invited for lunch and would be back later.

Hunith had a good wash and took advantage of the peace and quiet to catch up on her sleep. Peggy Biddle was now the sister to a brand new baby brother. Peggy decided that she wanted to call the baby Arthur but her mother had explained that he would be called Ostwold after his grandfather.

Mid-afternoon, the visitors returned or rather Merlin did as Arthur had been dragged off by one of farmers to see his latest ram, a rare piebald. He explained that Arthur had wanted to explain to the villagers the benefits of now being in the kingdom of Camelot. They needed to know that they would be supported by knights and soldiers who would respond to any request for aid.

As she put on the kettle to make a herbal infusion, Hunith fussed that Merlin should have stayed with Arthur but he said, "Mam, he's old enough to look after himself, anyway this gives us time together."

"You're happy, aren't you Merlin?"

Merlin gave her a little grin and said, "Mam, all I need to be happy is to love and be loved."

Hunith smiled but her heart clenched as she remembered the only love she had ever had and the wonderful gift, which they had to show for their love. As she passed him, she reached over and kissed the top of his head and mussed his hair.

He said, "Oh, Mam!" and took the hand on his shoulder and kissed it, saying, "My one wish is that Arthur might have had a Mam like you!"

He tried to bring her up to date on all the things which he hadn't yet told her, mentioning his time on the coast with Arthur and all about Spenser's brother and the terrible flood in Dunnsford. He told about Simon and Gidun but avoiding any reference to Arthur's upsetting behaviour. He talked about the latest raids and the sad state of affairs in the villages on the other side of the pass.

"You'll be going home your regular way across the river, won't you?"

"Believe me, there is no way that the horses would be able to climb up the slopes down which we slid. I'm sure one day, a route will be found to reach the pass but I think from now on I'd rather follow established roads. Roman, by choice!"

"Take off your pants and I'll get them sewn. Will I need to patch them?"

Merlin slipped them off and then remembered the heavy weight material, he had brought with him and the supplies from Gaius. It was fun passing all the things to her and she was thrilled with the beeswax candles. That was a luxury but it was when she saw the little silver clasp, that tears had filled her eyes.

She went to leave the room and Merlin caught her hand saying, "Mam, did I do something wrong?"

"No," she smiled at him, "Just remembered something…" She returned with a little wooden box which she put in the middle of the table, removing the lid. He smiled as he saw his baby tooth and a carving of a little falcon, he'd done as a child. But, there was also something wrapped in linen. She removed the linen object unwrapping it and placed it in his hand, a silver clasp, not identical to the one he had just given to her but of similar size, engraved with what looked like a dragon.

Merlin looked up and her eyes were tear-filled. "This clasp belonged to your paternal grandfather and it is for you. We will exchange the clasps, keep it with you Merlin and wear it proudly as your father did."

Merlin was shocked, his Mam never spoke of his father. He closed his hand around the clasp and fell silent.

His mind exploded into myriads of colours, predominantly of fiery hues. He heard the wind whistling by and felt that he was being carried. A loud voice assaulted his ears; he understood the words. And…he saw a sight he would never forget… A dragon approaching, the beating of its wings caused great currents of air. He experienced no fear and it landing before a man, who was standing, holding the hand of a young boy whom he recognised as himself.

"Merlin! Merlin! You're miles away."

He opened his eyes, surprised to see his mother and smiled fondly at her saying, "I saw him, Mam, I saw him …" and a tear ran down his face.

Hunith brushed it away with her fingers and said, "He said that I would know when the time was right…"

They lay the two clasps side by side on the table and finally Hunith placed hers in the wooden box and gave Merlin the original piece of linen, so he could wrap his and put it in his saddlebag.

By the time Arthur returned with some eggs and cheese from one of the farmers, Hunith was busy working on Merlin's trousers and Merlin busy chatting away. Arthur felt that something important had transpired but he knew that if Merlin wanted him to know, he would tell him.

The cottage smelled of roasting pheasant and Arthur remembered the burnt offering that he had made at his first effort to cook a bird. He'd never done it again but there was no need, for as long as Merlin was with him, he took care of all the culinary challenges. They glanced up and Hunith went to get another mug and Merlin patted the bench beside him and Arthur sat down, managing to run his hand up Merlin's bare thigh and he laughed…

Supper was excellent, pheasant, fresh greens and the end of the root vegetables from last year. Arthur often felt that food cooked with love, tasted better than much of the banquet fare which he ate at the castle. He remembered having one of the first rabbits, he ever killed, cooked by Gaius over the fire. It was delicious.

-0-0-

The three of them sat around talking and then Merlin said, "Arthur, there's a full moon. Let's go down to the river and see if I can catch some fish."

Arthur stood and thanked Hunith for their supper, Hunith laughed, "If all guests were as generous in bringing food, life would be easy. I'm ready for bed as I didn't get much sleep last night."

Laughing, Merlin said, "…wonder how much rest the Biddle's will get tonight with their new baby."

"Merlin, a missed night's sleep is well worth having a new baby in the house." She glanced at Arthur who had suddenly gone deathly quiet. She walked over to him and put her arms around him saying, "I'm sorry, Love…it still hurts, doesn't it?"

He nodded, "Sometimes, he's far from my mind and other times, he's lingering at the edge of it, asking to be allowed in and remembered." He put his head down on her shoulder.

Merlin leant over and wiped the tears away from Arthur's face, as he said quietly, "Mam, we would have been wonderful parents to him."

"I know, Son, I know…"

Arthur stood up straight and gave a weak smile, "You go to bed. Come on, Merlin, we'll take advantage of the full moon and fish."

Laughing, Merlin said, "The operative word is _not_ 'we' as you are hopeless at it…"

"Go on the two of you!" said Hunith as they left.

-0-0-

It was one of those nights when the moonlight was so bright that it cast distinct shadows and lit the way better than any servant carrying a torch could. Merlin lead the way to the river, nodding at Old Jeb as they passed him in a thicket.

"What's he up to?" Arthur wanted to know.

"Hunting, probably rabbits for his family, eight kids and counting! He's incorrigible been fished out of the river twice, and out of his neighbour's henhouse once…"

Arthur laughed, "Well let's hope that you don't take a header into the river as I only have one pair of boots with me and I don't intend to get them wet."

"You'd let me drown and float down the river like Ophelia?"

"Well…"

"Arthur Pendragon, that is not the response I expected. Nightly, you profess undying love and here you are equating my value to a pair of boots."

"Well...I might have second thoughts, if you put it that way. Mind you, as you are responsible for my wardrobe, as you told Hunith a while back, I should maybe not worry if it takes you days to get the leather supple again." They had reached the river and Arthur grabbed him threatening to push him in. He then had a change of heart and clung to him, saying, "Undying love was it? I'll have to remember that…"

"Remember the woods have eyes and we don't want to give that reprobate Jeb any ideas. Do we?"

"Merlin, I've never heard you talk about Ophelia, a girlfriend perchance?"

Merlin lay on the river bank in the moonlight and said over his shoulder, "No, not mine, possibly Hamlet's though…"

Arthur none the wiser, decided he wouldn't rise to the occasion by continuing the discussion. "Merlin, you sure know some strange people."

"Takes one to know one," was the muffled response.

They sat against a tree with six fish at their feet and watched the clouds chase each other across the face of the moon. A fox came to the edge of the river to drink, watching carefully the couple under the tree. He put his nose up and obviously scented fish guts but refrained from getting any closer. It was beginning to cool down and Arthur shivered. Merlin stood, saying, "Come on, let's get back. The cottage will be warm and by now my Mam will be asleep…"

When they finally got to the cottage they were surprised to see the stub of a candle burning in a bowl on the table, beside it was a note. 'Called out. Widow Hamblin has taken a nasty turn. Should be back by dawn.'

Merlin said, "Old Widow Hamblin must be nearing seventy, she's been in this village, since I can remember. Used to have an apple tree in her garden and invited the kids to climb it for the apples and asked for only one apple in payment from each child. We never stole apples from her but ''ardy 'arris', that was a different matter!" and Merlin laughed.

The rush mat and their bedrolls had been put near the fire so Merlin laid them out. They lay in each others arms talking about their friends in Camelot and amusing themselves by tying to decide who would be the next knight after Romney to get married and if Spenser would fall in love.

"Maybe it will be Gawaine," Arthur said.

Merlin almost choked, "Gawaine…you're kidding! He'd be on his way to stand before Geoffrey and he'd still not be able to decide which young lady, he should escort down the aisle."

"Stranger things have happened, as Nanny What's-Her Name used to say, 'Arthur, when you meet the right person, you will know.' She really did."

"…and did you?"

"Yes, never had a moment's doubt."

"You just had to get up the courage to make a move."

"Merlin, you were young and I didn't want to chase you away."

Laughing, Merlin said, "I might have been young but I was willing and able..." He pulled Arthur to him and gave him a kiss. "Can we take this up another time? I'm almost falling asleep as I speak"

Arthur yawned and Merlin pulled the blanket over them and as he fell asleep, he heard a fox bark and he wondered if it were one and the same.

Merlin heard his mam come in a little before dawn. He said, quietly, "How is she?"

"She didn't make it just died peacefully in her sleep. She was a good woman. She'll be missed. It's early go back to sleep."

Merlin whispered, "Don't get up for us tomorrow, I'll take care of breakfast and there are some fish in the covered pail."

"Thanks, Love! See you tomorrow..." She laughed, shook her head and whispered, "I mean, later today!"


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16 : A MAGICAL MEADOW**

Merlin realised next morning that they only had two days left in Ealdor. He knew that Arthur was not completely relaxed, he was getting there but still had Camelot on his mind. He wasn't as jumpy and was quite happy to settle down with Hunith as she prepared salves and tonics. Merlin often caught them laughing together and it made his heart glad.

He decided that he had something which he wanted to share with Arthur, something which over the years had literally saved his mind. Growing up, he had often taken off for an area that was seldom if ever visited by anyone. About an hour away on foot, there was a natural meadow which was hidden within a small valley. No domestic animals had ever pastured there and it was special, making him want to share it with Arthur. A stream ran though the northern section and rocks strategically placed around, gave the impression that it was just rough land of no value. Find the path through the rocks and the splendour of the area was revealed.

Merlin had stumbled upon it one day, when life in the village had become unbearable and he had needed a refuge. He was no more than fourteen but he knew that life had more to offer than the continual goading of his peers and the sadness in his mother's eyes.

"One day, they won't be able to catch me…I'll just fly away and leave them dumbfounded."

"Merlin, I know it's hard but you must stay in control. Find a place of your own and when life becomes too much, retreat and reconsider. I'm sorry but I can give you no other advice; persevere, there will be solution, we just have to wait…."

And wait he did with frequent visits to the meadow, until at the age of seventeen, with his mam's blessing, he had left home to find a family friend who had an understanding of and experience with magic.

-0-0-

"Arthur, I want to take you somewhere today, that I had never considered sharing with anyone."

"Not even, Hunith?"

He smiled, realising that he was not ready to share all parts of his childhood but he knew that to have Arthur with him in that special space would be another relinquishing, if only partially, of his past. "Right, Arthur, not even Mam!"

Hunith was up around noon and Merlin explained that he was going to show Arthur an area further afield. "I doubt that we will be back much before tomorrow noon."

Hunith nodded, "I won't insult you by saying 'Be Careful!' as I know that if you could manage in Camelot for ten years, you can certainly look after yourself where I think you might be heading."

Merlin walked across to her and hugged her, "It seems so long ago, that you told me to find somewhere special and I want to share it with Arthur." Pulling back from her, he added, "Maybe one day, you and I could go there too..."

"No, Merlin. You share it with Arthur. He will enjoy it all the more knowing that only you and he have ever been there."

"I'm taking only some bread, cheese and cider. No doubt," he said with a twinkle in his eye, "If the man of my dreams, The Hunter Par Excellence, is unable to find us some meat, I could always encourage nature to produce some!"

Hunith laughed but deep down she realised that that her son often had to refrain from being himself, especially in Camelot where regardless of how hard Arthur might have pleaded, Uther would have rejoiced watching her beloved son burn. She shivered, 'Please, God! Let it never get to that!'

Arthur had been entertaining the children near the duck pond. Several mothers were keeping their eyes on the little ones, who were obviously very taken with Hunith's son's friend. One smiled thinking to herself that very few children, if any in the kingdom had ever played with their crown prince. Her husband had said that Ealdor was a better place now that it belonged to Camelot and she knew that the majority of the villagers, men and women felt the same way.

Then Hunith's son had walked over and Arthur had explained that he had to stop playing as Merlin needed him. The kids accepted that quite happily and the small ones returned to their mothers.

"Arthur, we're going on a little hike and an overnight in the woods. I have something to show you."

"What about food?"

"I'll have bread and cheese and you will be responsible for finding us meat."

"Then we're gong hunting? Not your favourite pastime, eh Merlin?"

"You might do a little hunting not me…I intend to let memories from the past flood over me and if you are nice to me, I might even share one or two with you."

Arthur's head came up as he realised that although Merlin seemed to be speaking facetiously that there was an underlying seriousness to him. To alleviate the situation, Arthur said, "Lead on Mc-Whatever his name is!"

Merlin burst out laughing, "…and here I thought you never took in anything I said!"

"Well, it's the 'lead on' which I remember but never the name of the gentleman involved…but I'm quite partial to the other guy you mentioned."

"Ah, McDuff?"

"No, the one who shakes his spear!"

Merlin went into spasms of laughter and Arthur looked surprised that what he had said was so funny.

"What?"

Merlin finally caught his breath, "Arthur, it's Shakespeare, the name of the man who writes the stories."

"Whatever, with a name like that, he must have been a great fighter!"

Merlin looked at Arthur and the love which he had for him must have shown in his eyes. As Arthur said, "Merlin, I do believe that you are no longer thinking of Shakespeare or poor McDuff!"

Merlin looked at him again and began to giggle uncontrollably and in the end Arthur kissed him to shut him up! They broke off as Hunith walked in.

-0-0-

With a satchel and bedroll slung across his back, Merlin led the way. True to his word within an hour, he began to climb from the track and Arthur and he were soon in the woods. The trees were close together but slowly opened up and Arthur noticed huge tall stones.

When Merlin had fist noticed them, many years ago it had been the runes inscribed on them which had caught his attention but now they were moss covered and the diagrams were less noticeable especially to someone like Arthur. Merlin smiled, Arthur was oblivious to fine details unless it was from a military viewpoint or seeing a deer in a thicket at thirty feet.

"Careful where you walk, there are exposed roots. The stones are placed quite close but even you, 'Oh, Hefty One', should be able to squeeze through!"

"Merlin, did you hear that there was an opening in the royal household staff, a great position, manservant to a dashing and debonair, crown prince."

"Not my type of job, having to look after a posh brat, he'd drive me up the wall in no time. Had you thought about applying for the job yourself?"

Merlin stopped, he placed either hand on the entry stones and whispered, "_Licit mihi…suscipe ut bene meam sui."_ Then took Arthur's hand and led him forward, dropping it only when they were through the stones and he felt the meadow in his veins. It was cool and welcoming, neither demanding or effusive, it just seemed pleased to again have him there and he reciprocated by accepting the welcome and returning it.

Arthur had stopped, once they had passed through the stones and the rowan trees which seemed to act as curtains. His mind was shocked at the tranquillity and beauty of the meadow which rose slowly before him. He turned as he realised that Merlin was watching him and he said, "It's trusting me but I think that maybe that does not describe it properly."

Merlin grabbed his hand and led him forward onto the meadow. The grass was luxurious even at this time of year and Arthur was surprised to see wildflowers which he knew were not yet in season, red poppies, blue cornflowers and yellow daisies. He turned to Merlin motioning to them and Merlin smiled but didn't give a reason for their existence.

They walked slowly up the hill, passing a stream and dumped their bedrolls and supplies. As they reached the crest, spread below them was the world, or at least the kingdom of Camelot. Merlin stood with his arms outstretched as the updraft played with his clothes and hair.

"It's so beautiful, how did you ever find it? If I could move our turret room anywhere it would be right here. We would have no need to lock doors and creep around. We could stand by each other and assert that we are in love and all the flowers would raise their heads acknowledging us."

Merlin realised even though Arthur didn't, that he had been affected by the magic in this area. It was possible that he would not remember it once they left but they had time to enjoy it even if it would be only Merlin who would keep the memory.

They walked back to the stream and sat on a log. Merlin explained, "When things got me down and I literally couldn't see the forest for the trees, I'd run away and come here. Once I stepped through those stones, a peace descended upon me and I could think clearly and evaluate the happenings in my life."

He smiled saying, "If you think it was difficult for me when I was first working for you, it was nothing compared to what I sometimes experienced in Ealdor. I was different, I could do nothing right so, I became the person most likely to be blamed and picked upon. Growing up is very difficult for some people and it was for me. I had friends but they weren't the strongest in the village and I was singled out as the recipient of every kick and punch and should I cry which I used to when I was little and I didn't really understand why it was happening, that made it even worse.

"My Mam would say, 'Merlin, they will grow out of picking on you' but, Arthur, they never did and then I got to Camelot and saw a young servant being picked on and I took up his cause."

Arthur put his arm around him feeling guilty, "…and the bully who was teasing him, took it out on you, didn't he, Merlin?"

"Yes, he did but then things began to change and that same bully became my best friend…"

"…and lover?"

"Yes, Arthur, and lover…! One day, in my sixteenth year after some vindictive things were said about me which had turned the village against, not only me but my Mam, I came here and stood on the crest of the hill and for one split second contemplated walking off into space. But I couldn't, I felt rooted to the ground. I knew that my time had not yet come; I had to accomplish something. I knew that regardless of how hard it was; I was going to at least give it a try.

"I returned to the village after three days, bruises healed and courage renewed. There was a letter from a friend of my Mam's and you know the rest, I left in my seventeenth year to seek my fortune." He smiled, "I managed to find Camelot and the rest is history…" He took Arthur's hand and ran his finger over the ring on his index finger and kissed it.

Arthur leant over and took Merlin's hand, he touched the ring which he had given him and whispered, "Remember always, with this ring, I thee wed, with this body I thee honour… our love is in all times and in all ways…" He raised Merlin's hand to his lips and gently kissed the silver band.

Merlin felt the power and strength of the meadow run though him. He knew that Arthur was voicing what he truly felt. Even tomorrow, when he was sure that all these memories would be left in the stone-encircled meadow, Merlin would hold this time forever in his heart…all times …all ways…together or alone…and Merlin felt a darkness sweep across the meadow and a shiver go up his back.

Arthur kissed him again and the dark preminitions were chased by the immensity of Arthur's love.

Merlin knew that it was the spark of magic in Arthur's heart which was reacting to the enchantment of the meadow, that little spark which is in the heart of every child but becomes silent with age. Magic sufficiently affected Arthur to enable him to see into the depths of his own heart. Merlin smiled, Gaius would have been proud. No strings attached, he spoke purely from his heart unfettered by the current norms of society or his status in life.

Merlin smiled fondly as he looked at him, this was his Arthur talking to him, sharing his innermost feelings about his life. He held back nothing, neither his doubts nor his fears unable to hide anything from him.

Tears filled Merlin's eyes as he realised that Arthur had never hidden anything from him…nothing he heard surprised him, he already knew it all except one little thing. At this very moment, in this magical place, he was capable of understanding, the extent of Arthur's love, the width, the depth and the breadth of his love for him.

He was bowled over and said quietly, "Now, can we…please, Arthur!"

-0-0-

Merlin lay beside him, Arthur felt that in all the years that they had been together, never had he felt so thoroughly loved. No wonder, Merlin loved this place. He felt as if he were wrapped in a cocoon, safe and secure, primed and ready to face whatever was to happen.

He'd seen the look in Hunith's eyes when Merlin hugged her and he realised that it was absolute acceptance of the adult she had first hugged as a tiny baby, a baby completely dependant upon her for love and nourishment. He wondered if his mother's arms would have held him as securely when he was growing up.

"Penny for your thoughts…" said a voice at his side. He smiled and looked up at Merlin who snuggled closer to him.

For some reason, he felt no hesitancy in speaking his feelings, he allowed his heart to open up to this special person as he said, "Do you think that if Igraine had lived, she would have hugged me the way your Mam does you? I know it sounds really silly but I would have loved to have had just one hug so that I would have remembered."

Merlin propped himself on his elbow, leant across and ran his fingers up Arthur's cheek. "Arthur, I'm sure that when you were born, the midwife or Gaius would have placed you in your mother's arms and I'm sure that she must have hugged you, telling you how happy she was that you had finally arrived."

"Do you think she did?"

"I'm sure she did. Her love for you would have been really strong and even though you don't remember that hug, it is there in your heart." Smiling, he gently placed his hand on Arthur'sheart.

"Come here, I'm not as beautiful as Igraine but let me give you a hug and don't hug me back, see if that will help you remember that first hug in your whole life." Merlin held Arthur in his arms and his eyes shone golden. He let himself become a mother, holding her first child. 'Tell him, Igraine!' he thought and felt Arthur relax. He held him cooing to him.

He finally released him and looked at Arthur who had tear filled eyes. "Merlin, it's a different kind of hug than we normally give each other isn't it?"

"Yes, it's a hug which only a mother can give." Merlin smiled, Arthur didn't question how he could give him a mother's hug but he had just accepted it as that. Merlin knew that the meadow was at work and his adding a little magic hadn't hurt either.

"Are you hungry? I think we should start to think about supper." They had already set up traps in the woods and Merlin had made sure that there would be two rabbits there as he sent Arthur to check them.

Merlin walked back to pick up their bedrolls and the rest of the supplies and came back to the area under an oak where they had decided to spent the night. It was symbolic as the oak stood for endurance, power and sacrifice. It was considered a guardian and liberator. He looked up satisfied as he knew that in the branches up high above them were large clusters of mistletoe. The tree was sacred and the mistletoe was symbolic of peace as well as all things carnal.

Merlin remembered making a trip to the meadow in winter, marvelling at the huge round balls of greenery in the oak, a tree rarely associated with mistletoe. He realised that in this meadow, the rules of nature could be bent but never broken.

As he came out of the woods, two gutted rabbits in his hand, Arthur yelled, "We're in luck!" Merlin already had a fire going and quickly had the rabbits skinned and skewered. Arthur sat with his back to the tree and said, "Merlin, you would have made a real little mother. You are so domesticated and capable and…" he looked at Merlin shyly, "…you know how to hug!"

-0-0-

Merlin was the first to come to, the following morning. He knew where he was without out opening his eyes. He could feel the presence; it held him safely. He could equate it a little to coming to after an accident with Gaius holding his hand. Gaius whose magic was present, seeking his. It was the strongest bond between the two of them. He smiled…

"I hope that that smile is because of me," said a voice to his right.

"Arthur, you alone are the reason for all of my smiles!" Merlin said as he turned to look at him moving himself closer.

"What no smiles for Hunith, Gaius and Gidun?"

"Arthur, you are just being difficult, you know exactly what I mean and if it is necessary for me to explain what causes my smile, then, I am afraid we have a problem. Either you have an incredible short memory or my expertise was lacking!"

"Must be my memory. Oh, Sir, do I need remedial work in that area? An afternoon or early morning session maybe, Sir? Please, Sir, I want some more!"

Merlin grinned as he burrowed into Arthur's side and decided to play along.

-0-0-

Breakfast or more correctly brunch consisted of cold rabbit, berries and some bread. Merlin drank water so Arthur could have the rest of the cider. They sat against the tree looking out across the meadow.

"What's the longest time you have stayed in the meadow? Arthur wanted to know.

"Once, when things really got out of hand, I stayed here for two nights. I believe I slept one whole day and then just meandered around. I sat on the crest of the hill, overlooking the countryside and suddenly realised that somewhere there was a place for me, a job to do and a person to meet…and you know the rest."

"You found a place with Gaius in Camelot, found a job working for the crown prince and then you met the most wonderful person in the whole world, the man who was to be the centre of your universe forever…"

"Well, I wouldn't quite put it that way. I was very happy working for Gaius but as things would have it, an insufferable royal found himself in danger and I stupidly stepped in and before you knew it someone had given me to him as a servant."

"…and it was love at first sight?"

"Hardly, the man was so demanding and difficult but later I realised that something about him made me conscious of a feeling which I had never had."

"…his beauty, brains and personality?" suggested Arthur.

Merlin shook his head, "No, I'll give you the beauty but hardly the brains and your personality left a lot to be desired. I was shocked, a grown man who couldn't dress himself and had no ideas about the importance of the words, please and thank you. Those first months were excruciating."

"But then," Arthur added grinning, "You found Gaius's compendium and everything fell into place?"

"Arthur, can you have a conversation without equating everything to the need for sex?"

"But, I did love you, Merlin. You were so cute to look at and so innocent. Sometimes, I felt that when you looked at me and grinned, it was because you could hear my heart pounding and read my mind. I wanted to talk about you to anyone who would have listened but I couldn't. Honestly, I just wanted to wrap my arms around you and hug you until you pleaded to be released. I was a captive to my own heart!"

"Well, I'm glad you controlled yourself as the king would not have appreciated hugging in the middle of a meal or on the training field?"

"But now we can hug to our hearts content…and not stop at hugging either," said Arthur giving Merlin a beguiling grin.

Merlin had to smile. Arthur might have a one track mind but there were many things worse in the world than being in love with one person and one person only for the rest of your life.

Merlin stood and put his hand down to Arthur, hauling him upright. He held his head in both of his hands and covered his face with little kisses. "That will have to suffice until we leave Ealdor."

Walking out through the guarding sentinel stones, Merlin smiled, once again the meadow had proved itself as the perfect place to spend time with yourself and in this case with a loved one. He wondered how long it would be before Arthur's memory of the magical place would fade…

Hunith had supper ready for them when they returned. Merlin hugged her and she smiled, saying, "Did everything go well?"

"Yes, it was wonderful." He dropped his head and gave her a little grin.

Hunith looked at him and realised that without him her life would have been without reason. Through loving someone, she had produced this wonderful person and although life had never been easy for the two of them seeing him now with the person he loved, made her feel fulfilled and satisfied with her life. She'd miss him but she knew that their ties were stronger than any distance could damage.

As the two of them rode away, turning once to wave, fear gripped her heart but she trusted her son. He was happy; he had found his destiny and had a lot to live up to. Whatever it might demand of him, he was willing to accept…


	17. Chapter 17

** CHAPTER 17 : WITH THIS RING **

By evening the following day, Merlin and Arthur were well on their way home. They'd stopped for a late lunch at an inn but decided to push ahead hoping to reach the next village which could offer accommodation. Dusk beat them to it so they decided to sleep rough by a river running on the far side of the road.

Quickly, getting a fire going, beside a large boulder facing away from the river, Arthur and he ate his Mam's bread and cold chicken which tasted wonderful. His mind was relaxed and happy. He'd had a good time away and was now looking forwards to seeing Romney married to Mathilda. Still in holiday mode, neither of them had much desire to do anything, so they lay against a boulder chatting quietly.

Merlin suddenly put his hand over Arthur's mouth and they both froze. They were not alone. Arthur raised his eyebrows questioningly but Merlin shrugged and removed his hand from his mouth. Motioning him to stay still, he got up and walked towards the river. He could hear indistinct voices but couldn't recognise any of the words. The voices were certainly not threatening. He crept closer and smiled, he came upon an older man and two youngsters. He listened; the man was grading the children on their abilities and valuing the goods which he had laid on the ground.

Merlin's face dropped, thieves but his face softened as he heard one of the boys say, "Da, will it bring enough to pay for some food?"

The father replied, "Yes, 'arry Love, your mammy and the kids will have food by tomorra."

Slipping away, Merlin returned to Arthur feeling guilty about the meal they had just eaten but knowing that he couldn't take on the everyday problems experienced by local folk.

His heart almost stopped as he was grabbed, he thought, 'Shit! I wasn't paying attention.' But immediately recognised his captor as arms hugged him and someone whispered, "I was getting worried," in his ear.

Arthur led him back to the fire and Merlin told him what he had seen. "Life is hard for many families, not that I condone stealing but…"

"Why can't they just hunt for their food?"

"You can live off the land but you need more than meat and greens, you need seeds and nuts. They were probably hoping to purchase some oats. Luckily, Camelot has grain set on one side to dole out to the needy. I remember one year, Ealdor along with other villages, was hit by a rust blight on our wheat and it looked diseased and shrivelled away. We had to depend on Cenred's men who brought grain to the village and it was handed out by the village elder. Needless to say, he demanded a handsome payment the following year when our grain harvest was plentiful."

Arthur sat staring into the fire. There were many responsibilities which he would face once he was king. He smiled and reached for Merlin's hand. At least, he wouldn't be facing them alone.

-0-0-

It was the pattering of rain on the leaves which woke Merlin, he smiled. He knew that Arthur was going to try to lay the blame the wet morning on him. He stood up and checked the horses, he led them to the river and then walked back tying them up and giving them their quota of oats. He stood watching them eat, smiling as Gidun kept glancing at him in the hope that more might be in the offing.

"Sorry, old chap you're out of luck but tonight you'll be home and Evan will see that you get extra."

"Extra what?" said a sleepy voice.

"I was talking to Gidun and telling him that tonight he'd be home in his own stable and I'd arrange for Mulgan and him to get extra rations."

"You're all heart, am I to expect any special treatment when we return?"

"Well, I'm sure Gaius and the others will be pleased to see you…"

"That wasn't exactly what I had in mind…"

"Oh, I see…yes, I'm sure that the cook will see that you get extra rations as well."

"Merlin, are you that thick?"

A smile drifted across Merlin's face then it blossomed into a full blown grin, as he threw his leg over his saddle he said, "Don't worry, Arthur, I'm sure I'll have figured it out, by the time I get home!"

The rain stopped and a faint rainbow appeared in the sky; the clouds cleared and the sun shone welcoming them home.

Home! Camelot was on the horizon; the weather had cleared, the two horses cantered leisurely across the meadow before making their way at a trot through the lower town and climbing to the portcullis and into the courtyard.

-0-0-

It was early June, the weather was prefect when Lady Mathilda of Sloane wearing mint green with a silver brocade overskirt, carried a posy of lily of the valley which Merlin had collected for her around dawn. Her groom-to-be Sir Romney of Montfieth wore the outfit of a Camelot Knight.

Just inside the door of the hall, Sir Rupert of Sloane gave his daughter's hand to Lady Hester of Montfieth who stood representing her late husband Sir Calder. With a smile, she in turn gave it to her son Romney. The couple, followed by Sir Rupert and Lady Hester, walked side by side down the aisle, towards Sir Geoffrey de Monmouth, who was officiating. Romney was attended by his cousin, Sir Spenser of Sherewell. Lady Yseult of Sloan, Rudyard's wife and future sister-in-law to the bride, attended Mathilda.

Sir Geoffrey took Mathilda's and Romney's hands and asked if it were their wish to be married. Romney turned to Mathilda who smiled in acknowledgement and he turned back to Sir Geoffrey and said, "Yes, it is so!"

Arthur moved his leg back slightly so that it made contact with Merlin's as he looked at the couple and smiled. He was so pleased for his brother knight, he deserved every happiness. There was just a little sadness that never could Merlin's and his love be so proclaimed.

Sir Geoffrey asked if anyone present knew of any impediment to the nuptials and there was silence. He nodded and continued.

Lasting vows were made and Sir Geoffrey then announced to the gathered guests, "You see here, before you, Sir Romney and Lady Mathilda of Monfieth."

The assembled guests rose and cheered. The couple turned and wild flowers were scattered before them as they walked to the bridal table set up in the hall. Romney was greeted by his brother knights and Lady Mathilda was surrounded by her family.

Arthur grabbed Romney, slapping him across the back, saying, "Now, you're a married man, my knights and I will take the responsibility of protecting not only you but the virtue and reputation of your lovely, lady wife Mathilda."

Romney looked into Arthur's eyes and for an instance wished that he too could have stood with the love of his life and declared his intentions. He realised that he would never celebrate as he and his Mattie were doing today. Gawaine, Gielbert and Rook came over and Arthur went as a representative of his father to pay his respects to the new Lady Mathilda of Montfief, daughter of Sir Rupert.

The wedding feast was perfect. It had been planned by Lady Alisse and her daughter and was attended by a select few of the family friends. The feasting carried on well into the evening when finally the newly married couple were escorted by Romney's friends to their new quarters, with many a ribald joke, causing both bride and groom to blush. They were left alone and the feasting resumed, continuing into the early hours.

-0-0-

Merlin's breath had caught as Arthur's leg had touched his. He was scared to look anywhere and it wasn't until Gaius had smiled at him that he realised he had been staring in his direction. He smiled back and looked away. His heart was telling him to put his arm around Arthur's waist and pull him to himself. He glanced across the room and saw Rupert with his arm around his wife Lady Alisse as they beamed at Romney and Mattie. Lady Hester stood alone probably remembering her wedding to her late husband Sir Calder and Lady Yseult glanced at Rudd.

Merlin had walked right into this wedding not realising how emotional it would make him feel. He had been so thrilled that Mattie had accepted his offer to pick her flowers. He caught Gaius glancing again and nodded. He wanted to slip away but as long as Arthur was there, he would stay. It wasn't that he wasn't happy for Romney as he was; it was just a shadow skulking in the back of his mind whispering, 'Your relationship with Arthur will never reach this pinnacle. It will always have to be hidden.'

"Sorry, did you say something?"

"Yes, for heaven's sake, Merlin, get with it. This is supposed to be a celebration, we are to be happy that Romney has found the love of his life and that Mattie's parents have agreed that he is a suitable husband. Look, even Gawaine is being correct and giving his compliments to the bride." He turned to him and said quietly, "Please, my Love, don't look so sad. Our love is a strong as theirs is, possibly even stronger, not public that's all."

"Go over and give Romney your best wishes. Look, Gaius is going. Join him."

Walking across the room, Merlin sidled up to Gaius in the line waiting to congratulate the happy pair. Gaius glanced at him and said quietly, "Chin up! It detracts nothing from Arthur's and your relationship," and he slipped his arm across Merlin's shoulders.

Romney was so gracious receiving his good wishes that it did make Merlin feel better. Gawaine then stepped in and pulled him away from Gaius. "You look as if you could do with a drink. Where's your side kick?"

Merlin had to laugh. Gawaine could always make him feel better. Arthur watched them and smiled. It had worked mentioning to Gawaine that Merlin was taking the wedding a little too personally.

"Are you ready to go to a tavern and use up my hard-earned money or do you want to imbibe of the free libation graciously offered here by the family of the bride?"

Merlin grinned, "Trust you to ask a loaded question?" By now only their regular friends and Arthur's former friend Rudd, who was the bride's brother, were around and Merlin was nursing a small measure of mead. He knew that either Arthur or Gawaine would finally drink it for him but it made him feel as if he belonged.

Rook having insisted that Merlin slip between him and Arthur, said "Not much space, but I'm sure you don't mind." Arthur slid over but not so far that Merlin's and his hips and legs were not touching. Arthur was entertaining everyone with his story of their crossing the pass and having both themselves and their horse skidding down shale descents.

"…and were the two of you in your right minds, when you decided to take the pass?" Gawaine wanted to know.

"Well, we'd got so far and then the idea of trying to climb back up the shale sections, helped us make the decision to continue, easier. Anyway, much to my Mam's relief, we arrived safely."

Arthur added, "A lot of the credit has to go to our horses. They were steady and on one occasion Gidun had to get out of the way as Merlin went careening down the slope on his arse, overtaking him!"

Everyone laughed and Gawaine added, "Knew that body part would be of use one day!"

Merlin blushed beautifully and Arthur leant over and hugged him, whispering, "You look good enough to eat!" making him blush even further.

Spenser said, "I would like to make a toast…"

"No, he doesn't!" interrupted Merlin as he realised that Spenser was going to come out with something really funny but inappropriate.

Leon said, "But Spenser is our official toastmaster. The only one capable of making both Arthur and Merlin's skin crawl and I'm sure Rudd would like to see that we have all been keeping Arthur in his place over the last few years."

Arthur looked at his friends around the table, then at Merlin and nodded, "Go ahead, Spenser but remember the time and the place."

Spenser stood grinning, "Raise your goblets and toast with me, the servant who not only takes his job seriously but also is one of the best friends our future king could every need. Merlin, you are an example to all…" they all nodded and went to raise their goblets but Spenser wasn't yet finished, "…and if ever Arthur should decide to cast you off, I can think of four other knights who would be fighting Gawaine for your affection."

The table dissolved into laughter; as Arthur smiled and pulled Merlin closer to himself. Rudd realised that he had missed this kind of camaraderie, glancing at Gawaine, he realised that there was no animosity between Arthur and him. Glancing at Merlin, he knew that Gawaine didn't have a chance. He envied them their easy brotherhood and friendship.

Soon, it was time to turn in and Arthur rose and wished everyone a good night reminding them to be in the courtyard tomorrow around noon to bid farewell to the newly married couple who were returning to Romney's former home with Lady Hester's party and taking a few days for themselves planning to return for this year's investiture.

-0-0-

They both fell into bed exhausted, Merlin saying, "Do you think, we'd have any friends to invite if we had had nuptials?'

"Merlin, what are you going on about?"

"Nothing…Goodnight Arthur." But Merlin's mind wouldn't give up; it remained with today's ceremony. He thought, 'Who would have been their attendants and who would have been brave enough to attend?' Then he chuckled to himself, 'Well, he knew someone he wouldn't have invited…Arthur's father.'

He pulled the pillow more comfortably under his head and let himself drift away.

_He could feel that it was Arthur standing at the door with Sir Rupert. Gaius was standing beside him with his Mam. Gaius took his hand and gave it to Sir Rupert who turned and handed it to Arthur. They walked down the corridor to the door of the king's chamber and Sir Geoffrey was standing there with an owl which twisted its head and blinked at him._

_Next, Geoffrey mentioned brotherhood and trust. He was now standing with Gaius on the dais beside Geoffrey. Geoffrey had a sword and was tapping Rupert on the shoulder. Nothing seemed surreal, that was the way it was supposed to be._

_Arthur was looking for him but he hid behind Gaius. Arthur now stood alone before Geoffrey telling him that it was his wish to be married. Suddenly, Gielbert's little Aurora stood up and toddled over to take the empty place. Arthur smiled at her and Geoffrey began the ceremony._

_Merlin moved to stop Geoffrey but he motioned him over to help officiate. He kept telling everyone that there was a mistake but no one would listen, Geoffrey continued and Arthur again looked at Aurora. _

_Merlin felt sick. He tried to yell, "No, this is the wrong person!" but the only sound he could make was the whimpering of an animal in a trap. _

_The blinking owl, no help, kept hooting, "Who? Who-o?"_

_His Mam and Gaius embraced and someone clapped and he realised that it was himself. _

_Arthur handed Aurora back to Donatienne and made his way by himself to the bridal table. Gaius advanced to congratulate Arthur who turned into a large wild cat. He swiped at Gaius narrowly missing him and Gawaine dispatched him with his sword. _

_Anguished cries filled the room; Merlin realised he was screaming…then the ceiling started to fall and he couldn't breathe. _

_He flew to the turrets, standing there and as the wind picked up rattling the pennants on the flag poles, he cried…_

He woke, alone in the bed. His mind flashed back…yes, he would now be alone. He could feel the wind and hear the rattling. He felt someone sit on the side of the bed and slide in. He didn't want company so he moved away.

He heard a voice saying, "Great servant, you are, you left the window open and it was rattling…"

"...Arthur?"

"Who did you think it was…?"

He pushed himself into Arthur's side mumbling, "Arthur, it must have been a dream…"

Arthur smiled. Dreams could be very frightening but one good thing was that with Merlin, dreams often left him needy and Arthur knew just what to do…

-0-0-

Arthur's friends settled back into their routines. Those mentoring the candidates for the knighthood were kept busy, three more weeks of training and then the final interviews. Already, sponsors had been approached and the squires had been measured for their ceremonial clothes.

The staff were prepared for the influx of long time visitors. This was going to be one of the busiest seasons which Camelot had experienced in a long time.

There was a disturbance on the southern border but Arthur was not among those chosen by the king to settle it. His father had told him that until the tournament, he wished him to assist him in things pertaining to the castle. Begrudgingly, he had agreed.

"We'll be fine here. We can take little breaks away from everyone in the turret room and remember, you'll have plenty of time for training."

"You, Merlin, are ever the optimist."

"Must have been my upbringing and resulting general attitude on life, I'm a regular Little Mary Sunshine!"

"…and you get annoyed when I call you a girl, come over here, Mary!" Later, with Arthur's arms still around him, he was glad that he had obeyed.

There was a tap on the door and he slipped out of Arthur's grasp and opened it. "Welcome home, Stranger!" He said as Romney entered the room.

Arthur took one look at him and said, "Married life becomes you! How's your good wife?"

"Mattie's well, we had a lovely holiday and I have with me this young man whom I am hoping you will consider as a squire." Romney put his hand behind him and drew his youngest brother Rhylan into the chamber.

Arthur smiled, "Welcome, to Camelot. Where were you training?"

Rhylan looked at Merlin and smiled and then back at Arthur and said, "Sire, I have been at Caermorh Castle to the west since I was nine but as I want to be a knight of Camelot, I am here to request that you consider my suitability."

Arthur was impressed, he remembered Rhylan as an eight year old kid, who had been fascinated by Merlin. To the point where, if you found one the other would also be there. Arthur walked over to the desk and taking a quill jotted down a note, saying to the fifteen year old, "Well…Romney will take this to the Squire Master, Sir Malcolm and you will be on probation for the next six months. Prove yourself worthy and you will be accepted as a Camelot squire."

Arthur nodded at Romney and the brothers left the room, Romney putting his arm around his brother's shoulders and turning back to smile at Arthur.

Merlin grinned, "Nice wedding present, Arthur! I always liked that boy and if he turns out anything like Romney, he'll be a credit to Camelot."

"You know, I am always willing to give a chance to the knights' brothers. They seem to fit in well and we have been very pleased in the past. Mind you, we still need new blood, so I'm not adverse to welcoming already invested knights as well." Arthur caught Merlin's eye, "I know…there is one special man whom you would like to see wearing a red cloak but let's just say, that it will be one of my first appointments, once I assume control of the kingdom."

"You're a _prince_, Arthur! ...and I know that I'm not the only one who would feel that way. By the way, Spenser mentioned hunting tomorrow. Shall I round up your motley crew and make plans?"

Never one to allow an opportunity to hunt pass him by, Arthur nodded. "Include Rudd as he's staying here until the tournament. He was as keen on rabbit hunting as I was when we were young…not more than five of us, leaving around dawn, alright?" Merlin nodded, he'd make sure that it was a compatible group and looked forward to the outing if not the actual hunting. He'd check with the Master of the Hunt as to the best location and quarry.

-0-0-

By noon the next day, five tired but elated hunters returned to Camelot. The pack ponies returned with two, third year bucks and a small boar who had been quite aggressive as it was determined to take out Rudd. He'd handled himself well, dismounting to make the final kill. Merlin looked at Arthur, who was grinning from ear to ear. Rudd had been his companion until he was nine, when due to an accusation by an unscrupulous knight, Sir Rupert had decided for his son's sake to send him to his uncle. Arthur had sorely missed him. Although they rarely met, they had one of those easy friendships once they were together again.

They gathered that night for supper and entertained the rest of the knights with their expertise. After hearing that Rudd had got the boar, Rook said, "Great, I just heard Farmer Jones saying that his missus' pet porker has gone missing!"

Rudd tried to convince him that it was a wild boar, black and hairy but Rook insisted that as it was now probably scalded and on the spit he would have to take his word for it.

Rudd took the teasing well, insinuating that Rook, might not have been so quick to dismount as he had been, to give the '_coup de grâce'_. Arthur roared and toasted Rudd on his nimbleness not only of foot but with his turn of phrase.

Merlin sat back enjoying the meal. Once the servants had been dismissed; he sat beside Arthur. The sideboard was laden with food and anyone wanting anything was encouraged to serve himself. Mind you, out of habit, Merlin always managed to figure out what Arthur needed. Although Arthur would put his hand on his arm telling him to stay seated as he could manage by himself, Merlin with a grin would say, "Please, let me! You can reciprocate later…" Carefully, watching the effect those words had upon him…

Merlin felt completely at ease with the men around the table, realising however, that as children they must have been rough and strong just like the boys who made his life unbearable in his village. He looked around and decided that maybe Leon wouldn't have been mean or Gielbert or Romney; certainly not Spenser or Gavin. Then as he glanced around, he doubted that any of them had a really nasty streak in them and then his eyes fell on Gawaine and Arthur…and he laughed. Those two must have been something to contend with.

"What's so amusing?" Arthur asked.

"Nothing, I was just wondering how we would have got on if we had all met up as children."

"Probably, the same as we do today. We'd have challenged each other, always trying to get the upper hand, yet have been willing to give our lives to save one and other. We'd have pulled ranks on the other children…and picked on the less fortunate." Arthur paused, then smiled guiltily, "We would probably have been nasty little buggers!"

He turned and looked at Merlin and said seriously, "But I would have been your friend and wouldn't have let anyone say or do anything to hurt you…I would have loved you even then!"

**FINIS**

**To be continued in ALL THE ABOVE, MY LOVE which is the tenth story in the Rejected by Royalty Series.**


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